Sunday, January 31, 2016

Mary Worth 2239

Whatever you do, don't look directly at the acrobats. It will only encourage them.

Today's full strip

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Mary Worth 2238

Compelled by the knowledge that their working life is growing shorter every minute, the acrobats REFUSE to leave the stage, even during INTERMISSION!

Today's full strip

Friday, January 29, 2016

Mary Worth 2237

There are 8 million stories in the naked city. This has not been one of them.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Mary Worth 2236

When you re-encounter an old crush, one of two things will happen. You'll either start singing Garth Brooks' "Unanswered Prayers," or your heart will get stomped on all over again. Mary has completely used John Dill to entertain little Olive and now all that remains are a few parting gifts and his tears. Inside each muffin, John has carefully baked a note hand-scribed with this message, "I will love you forever. Please call me. 202-555-CAKE."

Unfortunately, Mary and Olive are about to donate the muffins to the faithful hobo. Ultimately, the hobo will get a job at the bakery, thus fulfilling Olive's food service vision. Funny how things seem to work out.

Today's full strip

Monday, January 25, 2016

Mary Worth 2235

It's nice to see some things never change... Even though he's trained under Chef Pierre for three years, John Dill's cake vision remains largely unaltered.

Today's full strip

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Mary Worth 2234

Oh, yes. John Dill has become a master of restraint. If he was more impulsive, he'd have to deal with mother nature!

Monday, January 18, 2016

Friday, January 15, 2016

Mary Worth 2231

Won't your friends be impressed with your new timepiece, Olive? Oh, wait. Sorry. You're too special for friends.

Today's full strip

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Mary Worth 2230

I like to practice gratitude by asking other people to give me money for the homeless when I'm already carrying a five dollar bill in my pocket.

Today's full strip

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Mary Worth 2229


I like shopping almost as much as I like watching people talk about shopping. 

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

The Eighth Annual Worthy Awards

Ladies and Gentlemen...

Welcome to the eighth annual Worthy Awards, celebrating outstanding achievement in the Mary Worth comic strip during 2015, brought to you by Splak - the breakfast cereal with as much fiber as a mighty oak.

It's the event of the year! And you've played a very important part. Thousands of votes were cast, but two categories came within two votes to determine the winner. Yes, every vote counts.

But first, to get things started, here's Dionne Warwick and the Green Jacket Dancers!

Thank you awkward Asian woman for turning off the video playing machine!

And now, on to our first category.

Outstanding Costume Design

It's not always the amazing stories we remember in Mary Worth. Sometimes, it is the amazing costumes. This year's nominees for Outstanding Costume Design are:

Ian Cameron for "Not-So-Little Green Jacket"

Adam Miller for "Everybody was Kung Foo Fighting"

Terry Bryson for "Mod Squad"

Terry Bryson for "Little Orphan Terry"

And the winner is:

Ian Cameron for "Not-So-Little Green Jacket"

For those of you thinking that the green jacket was the obvious winner, keep in mind that it was one of our close calls, winning by only two votes. Runner up: Terry Bryson for Mod Squad. Better luck next time Terry!

And now...

Outstanding Set Decoration

We had some wonderful set pieces this year! The nominees are:

Carnival Cones

Pretty Big Computer-Like Thing

Deep Seated Therapy Couch

Looking Out Looking In

And the winner is...

Pretty Big Computer-Like Thing

Outstanding Performance by a Guest Character

Each year, we look forward to making new friends with guest characters, but two of this year's nominees were returning friends! The nominees are:

Terry Bryson

Amy Dingdon

Evy Taylor

Hilton Berkes

Taxi Driver

And the winner is...

Taxi Driver

Outstanding Floating Head

Where would we be without our floating heads? Lost, never knowing who anyone was ever gossiping about! This year's nominees are...

Adam Miller

Ian Cameron

Olive Taylor

Sean Hastings

And the winner is...

Sean Hastings

Panel of the Year

Perhaps the favorite category, Panel of the Year seems to be the most anticipated and discussed category throughout the year. This year nominees are...

Up, Up and Away

Tastes Like Chicken

The Dirtiest Thing in my Home

Isn't it Romantic?

The Giant Dip

Can I Give You a Hand in the Kitchen?

And the winner is...

Isn't it Romantic?

Outstanding Performance by a Recurring Character

The most coveted of all Worthies, the nominees are...

Ian Cameron in "Show Me the Green Money Card"

Jeff Cory M.D. in "One Fish Two Fish"

Mary Worth in "If Auntie Mame is Boring and Sanctimonious"

Toby Cameron in "I Have an Art Show to Crash"

And the winner is...

Toby Cameron in "I Have an Art Show to Crash"

Story of the Year

And now, the moment we have all been waiting for. This year's nominees for Story of the Year are...

Christmas (and Easter?) in New York

Hanna Dingdon Gets Her Man... and his apartment

I Guess I Love you After All

Breaking Up is Hard to Read About

And the winner is...

I Guess I Love you After All

Congratulations to all of our winners! And remember, it is no shame to go home without a loving cup! All of our nominees are special. But to those of you with trophies, we love you! You are wonderful! You will be remembered as legends in your field forever! That's something the losers can't say. Tonight's victory is especially sweet for Terry Bryson, perhaps one of the most loathed characters of all time when she first helped Toby Cameron deal with her identify theft.

... Wait a minute... Okay, folks. I have to apologize. Let me just take control of this. This is exactly what's on the card. I will take responsibility for this. It was my mistake. It was on the card. I don't know how I got so confused. The real winner of the Story of the Year Worthy is...

Breaking Up is Hard to Read About

Could someone please take the Worthy Award out of Terry Bryson's ice cold hands and give it to Toby Cameron? I'm serious, "Breaking Up" beat "I Guess I Love You" by one vote. Just one vote. No, get that trophy away from her before she flings open every door and escapes. And get Adam Miller's trophy and give it to Ian Cameron. No, he's easy to catch. Just take the trophy away. There you go. Okay, that's all worked out. Everyone happy except Terry and Adam? Okay, good.

Thanks to our sponsor Splak, Dionne Warwick, and especially you! On behalf of the entire Condo Board, we'll see you next year!