Thursday, December 29, 2016

Mary Worth 2485

I hope that's a rhetorical thought balloon because I'm older than you are, Iris, and I'm not going to be much help. But one thing's for sure, your choice at this moment will determine how Zak's friends judge you. And while Tommy's approval is completely irrelevant, the approval of Zak's friends is going to be paramount.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Mary Worth 2484

If it isn't a real band, then it must be an anagram, but I can't figure it out, although I do see the word "aging" in there. And it would make sense that it's a band for an aging audience if they start playing at 6:30. Iris will be sound asleep by nine.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Mary Worth 2483

When I was in graduate school, my classmates took me to a concert: The Tokyo String Quartet. It changed my life. I'm sure Iris will have a wonderful experience.

Monday, December 26, 2016

Mary Worth 2482

You may find this hard to believe since I write such a hip-hop-happinin' blog, but I have a little trouble keeping up with the way kids are talking these days. Their slang baffles me. To me, when someone says you're eyes are bright today, it means they suspect you of being one of these:

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Mary Worth 2481

Of all the wonderment in today's Christmas celebration at Charterstone, this little party is the one I think we're most eager to attend. Tommy has now met his future father-in-law, and seems overjoyed that Wilbur is out of the picture. He even put on a clean T-shirt for their Christmas dinner out on the town just to impress Zak. And Zak, whose parents live over 60 miles away (!), told his Mom he couldn't be home for Christmas because he was spending it with his new girlfriend. "I think she went to high school with you, Mom." And Iris is totally enjoying that champagne, and super proud of Tommy for not drinking in front of her. And Waiter McStilty is awesome as well, maintaining that game face while inside he's smoldering with resentment over having to work on Christmas at less than minimum wage plus tips. Merry Christmas, one and all, and God bless us, every one.

P.S. Just a few more hours to vote for your favorites in this year's Worthy Awards!

Saturday, December 24, 2016

Mary Worth 2480

Actually, Wilbur, you're not. You're in the southern hemisphere, the exact opposite sky. In fact, the sun won't set in Antarctica (nerd alert!) until March 21. So, it looks like our little "Where's Wilbur" game is still in play. The Dharma Initiative has dumped him somewhere, and not even Wilbur knows where.

Friday, December 23, 2016

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Mary Worth 2478

Yesterday's game of "Where's Wilbur" was fun, but apparently irrelevant. The only thing that matters is that he is in a metal room without any heat, but very good wifi. Now to impress Iris on Skype. Just wait till she sees his jowl stubble.

There's still a few more days to vote in for your favorites in this year's Worthy Awards. Your vote could make the difference!

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Mary Worth 2477

Whoa! Wilburana Jones! He's a new man! Oh, if Iris could only see him now. It's too bad she didn't travel the world with him. No doubt this new virility would more than compensate for Siberia's sub-zero temperatures and living in a steel bunker so cold that ice forms on the walls and you have to wear a parka. Good wi-fi though.

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Mary Worth 2476

If they're looking at the moon, then what is that giant orb in the sky to their left? Maybe it is the UFO that just beamed up an entire department store.

Monday, December 19, 2016

Mary Worth 2475

Their hands keep awkwardly brushing against each other. If I know Zak, he'll be holding her hand in no time. And all the people on the busy streets of Santa Royale will sigh, "Awww, isn't that sweet? That man is holding his mother's hand at Christmas."

Saturday, December 17, 2016

2016 Worthy Award Nominees

Attention, Citizens of Santa Royale! It is that time of year again! Time to vote for your favorite Mary Worth Moments and choose our 2016 Worthy Award Winners!

Voting is open to every man, woman, and child, regardless or race, religion or national origin. I'm talking to you, Mr. Allora.

We will be celebrating the victors on New Year's Day in a very special awards ceremony. So vote often, and don't miss the big show on New Year's Day! Polls will be open through December 25th!


 Please cast your vote for...

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A FLOATING HEAD

 Harlan Jones in "Title IX"

 Dr. Jeff Cory M.D. in "No Need to Rush Home"

 John Dill in "Thanks for Visiting My Dreams"

 Tommy Beedie in "Floating Head Shop"

Mary Worth in "Reversed Floating Head"



OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A GUEST CHARACTER

 Dr. Leone in "Yes, I'm a Doctor"

 Harlan Jones in "The Yoga Code"

 Homeless Man in "Everything But My Faith."

 Sabrina in "The Teen-Aged Meddler"

Mr. Allora in "You're Late! Everything that Happens Next is Your Fault!"

Olive Taylor in "Meddling Munchkin"

 

OUTSTANDING PANEL OF 2016


 Chaos Must Be Controlled

 Olive Can Read Your Mind

 Care for a Cup of Perspiration?

  
Good Grief, Charlie Brown

 
 Pork Chops and Acrobats

 Joe Giella's Last Mary Worth Panel

 

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A RECURRING CHARACTER

Dawn Weston in "The Yoga Code"

Iris Beedie in "It's All Mr. Allora's Fault"

Mary Worth in "The Yoga Code"

Toby Cameron in "The Yoga Code"

Tommy Beedie in "It's All Mr. Allora's Fault"

 

OUTSTANDING STORY OF 2016

Meddling in Manhattan

 The Yoga Code

It's All Mr. Allora's Fault


Well,that's all the categories for this year. Cast your votes now, and be sure to tune in for the 2016 Worthy Awards on January 1st.

Mary Worth 2474

As good ol' Joe Giella used to say, "!"

Friday, December 16, 2016

Mary Worth 2473

Well, it appears that we've finally found an appropriate use for BOLD lettering.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Mary Worth 2472

Dear Cat,

I'm so sorry that after voluntarily leaving your 20-year career, you've found gainful employment so quickly. That does sound horrible. I can understand why you are so scared. It would have been much more comfortable to have been fired, and then unable to find new work because you're older than your competition. Unfortunately, you took the easy route of leaving your position, and then had the misfortune of waking up and finding a job offer in your inbox. I don't think I have the meddling experience to advise you. I suggest you visit a priest.

Scared for you,

Wendy

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Mary Worth 2471

"But what?" Mary silently asks herself as the email abruptly stops. Perhaps the correspondent will send a second installment tomorrow so that Mary isn't left hanging like this.

Monday, December 12, 2016

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Mary Worth 2468

Age is just a number that indicates when you were born. People of divergent ages know that their world views and attitudes may be different based on how the culture changed between their births. Age is also a number that indicates potential remaining life span. Couples with 20 years between them need to prepare to see the older person succumb to the effects of age, and should plan to meet those healthcare needs. People who think age differences won't impact their relationships are either old, or write TOTALLY AWESOME COMIC STRIPS!!

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Mary Worth 2467

It's now official, Iris, you talk more like an old lady than Mary Worth.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Mary Worth 2466

Since when has being "out of character" been such a Big Deal?

Zak requested a few songs for the Jukebox. Hope you enjoy them.

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Mary Worth 2465

Dude, you got to stop asking her out in person. Twenty-five year old guys just don't. You've got her number - text her. Those guys at the table are enjoying a perfectly normal conversation with each other using Snapchat.

Friday, December 2, 2016

Mary Worth 2464

Note to self: Women love it when you play with their croutons. It is very reassuring.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Mary Worth 2463

I know I'm posting this about 12 hours later than usual, but I couldn't go to bed without celebrating the great example Zak is setting by pursuing an advanced business degree. The A.B.D. is one of the most rigorous programs at Local University, and the fact that he still has time to hit on other people's mothers really speaks to his great intellectual capacity, and his dedication to higher learning. So here's to you, college boy! Thank you for your fine upstanding example.