Those of you who have read this blog for a while KNOW how absolutely giddy I am right now. Bonnie is going to tell a story! It doesn't get any BETTER than THIS! It's what I wait for and I have NEVER been disappointed. Was I disappointed when Mary Worth told Adrian Corey a story about the Mysterious Man who got away, leaving her stuck to date Adrian's father?
No, I was NOT! Was I disappointed when Lynn Griffin told Mary Worth why she passed out on the ice after seeing a picture of her friend who had died?
No, I was NOT!... or when Mary explained the origins of her compulsion to help others?
No, I was NOT!I hope and pray that Bonnie's story is about growing up so poor that she has been on a spending blitz ever since she got her credit card. That way, Mary can re-tell the Compulsion to Help Others story about how she grew up poor as well, but instead of going on a spending blitz, she's been meddling in everybody's life uncontrollably. Then we'd get two stories: Bonnie's, and the repeat of My Compulsion to Help Others. It would be like a bonus.
Oh, this is going to be WONDERFUL!
Today's Full Strip
All right, Mr. Wanders, deep breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth. If that doesn't stop your hyperventilating, breathe into a paper bag...
ReplyDeleteSepia tones are forthcoming. Or is that done only in Funky Winkerbean. I can never remember.
Flashback Alert! Settle in everyone and get comfortable. We're going to be here a while. This is Mary Worth, after all. These stories generally take WEEKS to unwind and then can be summarized in a sentence or two. Also, they're never very exciting or informative and they're usually delivered with the passion of a public service announcement. Yet, here we all are...waiting.
ReplyDeleteI'm excited, too!! Trying to think up possible directions this could go. I bet it does involve poverty, deprivation, envy of some sort...maybe little elves in a shoe shop! Who knows!? But it will be "Worth"-while for sure!
ReplyDelete*grabs popcorn* *grabs sleeping bag* *pitches tent* This is going to take a while, isn't it? *clears calendar through July*
ReplyDelete"Are all of these things clothes" asks Mary, showing her keen fashion sense. Orange blouse with a Peter Pan color doesn't count as clothes in my book.
ReplyDeleteYou all are way too cynical. Could be Bonnie's story IS...somewhat, remotely, passably, possibly...not completely brain deadly boring.
ReplyDeleteBut then again...
Can't possibly need all of them? Has Mary not seen how Bonnie's size fluctuates by the HOUR?
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to hear about how Bonnie was bitten by a radioactive blowfish...
Oh. Man. This is going to be sweet. I predict: Bonnie's Compulsion to Help the Economy. She's just trying to get the free market to keep it tight!
ReplyDeleteYou know, years ago, I attended my sister's college graduation and got a kick out of someone's Engineering PhD dissertation: The physics of putting a golf ball. There has got to be a great dissertation to be written on the "Stories of Mary Worth." That would involve painstaking research over the many decades of Mary Worth strips to catch every story told by Mary or to Mary.
ReplyDeleteOn a related note, Ms. Moy apparently feels she has mastered the art of the narrative, else why would she favor us so often with her characters' stories? Poor woman is even more delusional than I thought.
--wheelhead
gastr (they apparently forgot to spell out the rest: "ointestinal," which would make a great word verification prompt.)
@Amber--Not only does Bonnie's size fluctuate, but so does her age! A quick perusal of the contents of the boxes and garment bags would probably reveal everything from junior size 7 miniskirts to plus size 22 coral polyester pantsuits.
ReplyDeleteMary has no room to criticize. I have a theory that SHE wears an outfit only ONCE and then throws it away. It would explain why we never see her wear the same thing twice (with poss. exception of scarves)and why her condo is so tidy and uncluttered.
ReplyDelete''When I was a little girl, I had six sisters, and we were so poor, we all had to share one dress. Only one of us could leave the house at a time, so I only went to school one day a week, so I never learned how to budget...and that is the reason why I shop and hoard today!''
ReplyDeleteI love a good story!
ReplyDeleteDid I ever tell you about Wilt Chamberlain? Bob Cousy? Joe DiMaggio? Let me tell you a story...
Come and listen to the story bout a man named Jed. A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed...
Let me tell you. I decided to walk in the Nevada desert, wearing sneakers with rubber-bottom soles. It was not my intention in the beginning to produce shoes...
A Story by Yoko Ono: There was a girl who couldn't speak, who couldn't speak her mind. Only thing she was good at was telling stories of faraway lands...
Chet--not entirely true that mary never wears an outfit more than once: osmetimes when she changes her outfit in the middle of a scene, it does revert back by the end of the week.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason my mind went to Airplane as I heard B?BJ indicate that another bout of SOS (Sudden Onset Story) was coming on: "Mary, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?"
(fitting word verification below for me too--"iddlyma"---does that stand for "idle Mary?"). But I digress. Again.
I really hope this is good because this storyline has gotten a little flat, I'm afraid. The big reveal just wasn't that big.
ReplyDeleteAnd to think that around this time last year I was laughing myself sick about the bumboat...
BTW, mrvy, Funky uses the little black triangles on the edges of the snapshots in their flashbacks, or shall I call them "doombacks".
Oh my... I wait breathlessly for the timeless tale of love, addiction and regret. Step one! Admit you have a problem!
ReplyDeleteMy Mommy loved my sister more. I shop and hoard to fill that empty place. Curse you favored sister.
ReplyDeleteI think it was the collection of T-shirts with leaping marlins on them that pushed Mr. B?BJ? over the edge.
ReplyDeletePoor fool; they are priceless on eBay.
I'm probably over-optimistic, but I sure hope the story has the same plot as "Sybil" or "The Three Faces of Eve." Each of Bonnie?'s personalities buys its (her) own clothes. This could explain her unusual body changes. Also why she doesn't seem to be sure whether Ernie went on a business trip or actually moved out.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't that be wonderfully entertaining?! The three faces of Bonnie!
ReplyDeleteI can't help but notice that Joanne Woodward wears a Peter Pan collar in the 1957 film...
ReplyDeleteThat is so good! The 3 faces of Bonnie! lmao. I guess that is why she looks different almost everyday. lol.
ReplyDelete"...and thats why I shop"
ReplyDeleteI hope her story is more along the line that she was a spoiled little rich girl who was given everything she ever wanted and never learned the difference between want and need. Then she married Ernie . . . much to her parents' disappointment. She was disowned, disinherited, left to live in relative poverty with old Ern. Maybe she is a disinherited princess or something. That would be even more interesting. I hope it's not the same old predictable drivel!
ReplyDeleteChester, did you read ahead? Please don't spoil the ending for the rest of us!
ReplyDeleteAnd lovesmary, that story is actually the history of Dagwood and Blondie Bumstead, except of course, Dagwood was the wealthy prince(ss) in that one.
Brick, I bet Bonnie?'s wardrobe as depicted in this strip could be found in many films of the 40s, 50s, and 60s. Moy may be living in the modern time of reality TV shows, but Giella seems be happiest reliving his own times.
Maude Findlay, those few sentences will hopefully be stretched over 2 weeks with fantastic strips featuring Bonnie's longing look at the designated sister wearing the one dress, and being stumped by basic math. I can't wait!
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of word verification, mine is "hiatis" which, if spelled properly, would be exactly what I need to take until the B?BJ? story is done. Say, perhaps a September return?
ReplyDeleteKids, mark your predictions of when the B?BJ? shopping story will go away.
i.e., a disheveled Ernie comes back to a beat up home with cracks on the wall, plaster falling and cracked windows, and to his beloved wife and baby... OH, Snap. That was the LAST story!
I wish I could think of something clever to say like the rest of your commenters, but I'm about as witty as Wilbur Weston. However,I did want to tell you how much I enjoy your blog and to thank you and your hilarious commenters for my (almost) daily laugh.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I, too, am breathless with anticipation at the story to come.
Mary couldn't resist a smug "Neither could we," in her thoughts. Love it!
ReplyDeleteWhy don't I remember that Members Only jacket guy in the background of the "my compulsion to help others" panel? His reaction is priceless. He has "oh yeah, this is gonna be good" written all over his face.
ReplyDeleteAnother story of impoverished childhood. Do you remember the Little Match Girl? I wonder what modern-day compulsion Moy would have given her had she lived. Tanning, internet, or exercise addiction?
ReplyDeletePoor little Match Girl was probably best off joining her grandmother in Heaven.
As I recall, didn't Mary's childhood home feature a lot of empty cupboards? In retrospect, maybe her parents could have sold some of the empty cupboards, and bought some food & clothes?
ReplyDeleteYes, but did B?BJ? entertain herself by blowing dandelion fuzz all over the yard?
ReplyDeleteBeth: Don't hold your breath. Once we hit the "I'm going to tell you a story" milestone, it's all downhill from there.
ReplyDeleteI too, love Mary's smug "Neither could we" thought balloon. She has to one up everyone. If B?BJ? said her family had to eat out of dog dishes or make toys out of scrap lumber, Mary would have an appropriate thought balloon.
"We couldn't afford nice clothes, either, Bonnie. But I didn't grow up to be a shopping addict and slob like you! I spend my money wisely, which is why I can afford flashbacks for my stories and you can't. If you were a better person, you would try to be more like me, a better person than you."
ReplyDeleteHonestly, how can we NOT love Mary Worth?
For five weeks we watched Mary work her way into the private life of Bonnie?Bonnie Johnson. Dinner, lunch, pie...
ReplyDeleteThen, just as the woman begins to open up... "we (sob) couldn't afford nice clo..." she bubbles a 'been there, done that' ? Bored, Mary?
What was she expecting from a wants vs needs storyline anyway?