Monday, August 29, 2011

Mary Worth 1,102

First Date Conversation: "There really isn't that much to tell. I'm a waitress. I'm in the witness protection program. And the love of my life is Bobby Black, who I haven't seen since I was 14. What else would you like to know about me?"

Edited to add: How many fingers does Mary have on her hand today?

Today's Full Strip

35 comments:

  1. "You are young and beautiful...you'll find love? I know you will! I, Mary Worth, will meddle you into love if it's the last damn thing I do!"

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  2. Yes, Karen with a K - my thoughts precisely! Mary knows Gina will find love because Mary will find love for Gina. How simple life becomes when you put control in Mary's hands.

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  3. What's with the person with his/her back to Gina? Is that a balding head with long hair? Or maybe just a poorly drawn full head of hair. And why is that person's head so tiny?

    Geez, you know the story has gotten really dull when the only thing that grabs your interest is the back of someone's head in the next booth.

    And to quote the immortal Ann Landers: Quitcherbeefin', Gina.

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  4. @Mary -- I think it's a jellyfish.

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  5. @Mary--I think that head belongs to the butler from Rocky Horror.

    Gina to Mary: "Excuse me a moment; I need to go have coffee with table 3 for a moment."

    Maybe Gina's dating problems evolve from the problem that she either tells her life story to everyone, or is so desperate she opens up to an old lady customer she doesn't even know.

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  6. @Mary: It could be a mop...or a mafia hitman in disguise. Gina noticed too, and that's why she and Mary abruptly switched sides of the table between panels one and two.

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  7. Gina's luck with waitress jobs might not be so great either. That's what happens when you sit at your customers' tables whining rather than serving their food. Where is that diner manager, anyway?

    Wanders, how good to have you back post-Irene!

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  8. I cannot fathom why a twenty/thirty something who wears the ponytail of her adolescence, fixated on the True Love of her life from age 14, unable to even be a mediocre waitress, cannot do so much better in the dating world.

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  9. @heydave: because she's beautiful. Nothing else matters.

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  10. Wait, isn't this all about Ginas mother, who passed away recently?

    Why did Gina have to care for her, why wasn't she taken care of by the Witness Protection Program?Don't they have visiting nurses?

    Where is Ginas father?

    Ow my head...

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  11. @Chester the Dog,
    Maybe Gina's father got whacked by the guys who gunned down Richie. (Argh, trying to remember Richie might make your head hurt even more - sorry!)

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  12. MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL!!!!

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  13. Today, Mary recaps THREE WEEKS of Gina in under ten words.

    "I'm sorry your childhood wasn't a bed of roses, Dear, but moving on..."

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  14. James in North DakotaAugust 29, 2011 at 11:55 AM

    Maybe Gina's father WAS Richie *dramatic music*

    And Chester, I thought the same thing. Originally, this whole story was supposed to be about how Gina was taking care of her sick mother. And instead we get excerpts from West Side Story and The Godfather, but without any mafia scenes.

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  15. "Fate's cruel blow"? "Worst luck"?
    Geez, Gina, you much of a fatalist?
    I image Eeyore doesn't have much luck with dating either.

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  16. OMG! I am watching the weather channel's over-saturation coverage of Irene, and the most recent Charmin toilet paper ad with the cartoon bears came on.

    Mama Bear and Baby Bear are in the grocery store and Baby Bear grabs a box of cereal off the shelves...

    ...and I swear the box read, "Salmon Squares"!

    Mary's tentacles are EVERYWHERE!!!

    --Beagle Vet

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  17. Why does Diner have both curtains and blinds? And why does Mary not let Gina know about the plant sneaking up behind her?

    --Beagle Vet

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  18. @beaglevet: You can get a better look at that cereal box here: http://youtu.be/GKOLZxNimD8

    Enjoy the Go.

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  19. Oh, shoot! Salmon Flakes, not Squares.

    Mea culpa.

    --Beagle Vet

    WV: "praysted", as in, "I praysted the Charterstone faithful will not shun me for my error". :)

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  20. Salmon Flakes have GOT to be better than Kelk.

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  21. I wouldn't want to date any of the guys I dated at 14 for all the tea in China. Not even remotely my ''type'', anymore. I wonder if Bobby Black will be fat, balding & married with 3 kids?

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  22. James in North DakotaAugust 29, 2011 at 5:48 PM

    It's almost autumn, and there has yet to be a Charterstone pool party. What gives?

    VW "aprout" --- "I'm aprout to be sick. I think those salmon squares have gone bad."

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  23. Yesterday I suddenly panicked, thinking that MW would yet tie the story to 9/11 when Gina finally tracks down BB only to find out that he died in the terrorist attacks days after her family left for ports unknown. But no, it appears that--yet again--this story is about a young girl thinking that she'll never find love until she meets MW who tells her that she is beautiful, waves her magic wand and conjures up an eligible (possibly blue-haired) bachelor seemingly out of thin air. Exactly HOW MANY of these stories have we had now? I also want to know what happened to Gina's mom and dad, and why she can take 6-hour coffee breaks without losing her job and, lets not forget, how her studies at Local Community College are going, etc. And, seriously, THIS was fate's cruel hand? This girl needs a psychiatrist. What a scatterbrain story!

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  24. Oh, and Gina, this might help you to fight off Ms. Fate pummeling you with her terrifying fists. A sage woman once told me that the past exists only as we remember it.

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  25. I think Gina's dad owns the diner. It's called the "No Name Diner".

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  26. just ONCE I'd like to see Mary meddle with someone who isn't "young and beautiful". How about someone overweight who has a big nose? Or a super thin gal with buck teeth and a birthmark?
    (The ponytail IS pretty ugly, but nothing a quick makeover wouldn't fix!) Perhaps Mary, who leaves "generous" tips, could also splurge on a deluxe session at Hair Salon for poor Gina.

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  27. I fear the addiction of following MW thru this blahg is making me brain dead.

    Well, not so much fear as in "Is it really noticeable?"

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  28. "Oh look, here comes love now, to join me for pie and coffee. And here comes your boss to fire you for hanging out in my booth for your entire shift."

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  29. I notice that on the table there are two salt shakers—but no pepper. And the napkin dispenser has no napkins. Could it be that the waitperson in charge of that table is incompetent?

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  30. Thanks for the insight into what that blobby thing might be in the next booth! Today was my very first day of grad school, so I appreciate a little MW-related humor.

    Does everyone in the witness protection program wear a name tag?

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  31. Yes, Mary, the witness protection program hands out a name tag with an alias on it to each enrolled individual. Mob thugs are notoriously gullible, and this is the "protection" part of the program.

    Why doesn't Mary Worth just start a dating service so she doesn't have to wander around Santa Royale hoping she'll keep running into people for whom love is not?

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  32. As Miranda Priestley said, "By all means, move at a glacial pace."

    I don't know why I continue reading this schlock. Can someone explain to me why I keep returning to read the day's entry? Perhaps there's something wrong with me.

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  33. Vicki, have you forgotten about Bonnie, Bonnie Johnson? On the weekends, she appeared to be slim, attractive & stylish, but come Monday, she would morph into Ernest Borgnine in an old housedress.

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  34. "Mary, It was awful- Cruel fate tore me away from my Bobby and I was placed in the Waitress Protection Program..."

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  35. Why is there a hand with six fingers sprouting from Mary's chest? And why isn't Gina afraid? Must be her all protective magic antenna ponytail!

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Don't be shy! I'd love to hear what you have to say about Mary Worth. Just keep it clean, that's all I ask. This is a FAMILY FRIENDLY blog. I don't want to moderate comments, but I will if I have to.