Friday, December 30, 2011

Mary Worth 1,200

McThuggy finally realizes why the "Good Eats" Diner's marketing slogan is "Where the *&^%$#@ is that waitress?"

Today's Full Strip

22 comments:

  1. Settle down Mongo--you wait at all the tables.

    Here's an idea Bree--go out and ask if he needs anything else. You can then disappear for 20 minutes to look for the check. Maybe he'll pay by check.

    Now, I am impressed that while he's not beyond kidnapping, he does stop before crossing the moral line of doing the dine and dash. That said, I don't think Bree is going to get much of a tip, free rainbow ice cream or not.

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  2. Hulk McNecky apparently forgot that this is a family-friendly blog. Such language! And in front of the children! (No matter how distorted said children's features may appear...)

    This story has all the suspense of the steamroller scene in Austin Powers. Are we going to cut away tomorrow to show Mary and Jeff toasting in the new year, only to come back to the Diner Drama on January 1?

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  3. Punky, I fear that more champagne corks will fly before bullets from law enforcement by the time this is done.

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  4. Just when I thought my new password was secure, it is revealed in an oath by an oaf in an oak colored overshirt. And Wanders repeats my password on his blog making a horrible situation even worse. Even Zippy the Pinhead knows better. BTW Punky, I know it sounds like a curse word, but if you say it with a Brooklyn accent, it isn't even close. Try it again.

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  5. Has Bree tried offing Thuggy free beer?

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  6. That's a fairly lengthy curse word (seven letters, if "96" is considered one character). This is no garden-variety thug we're dealing with!

    Punky @ 8:50 AM, it may be Valentine's Day before the police arrive. St. Valentine's Day Massacre, anyone?

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  7. Due to city budget cuts, there are currently two police officers on duty in Santa Royale and they are on a donut break. Response time is approximately two hours, which in Mary Worth time is two weeks. But do not fret, Mary has already severed his ignition wires.

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  8. James in North DakotaDecember 30, 2011 at 10:59 AM

    Dang it Wanders, you took my post! lol I thought the same thing. That should be Diner's...er, Good Eats'...motto.

    Punky: To me, it looks as though she appears asleep. But who wouldn't nod off while waiting for the glacier pace that is the staff at Good Eats?

    Also, I thought Mary was going to block the entrance with her souped up Dodge Charger?

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  9. So I guess this thing is going to drag on into 2012? I was hoping we could start the year with something new.

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  10. Emily: "*&^%$#@ the waitress. Get me more of that *&^%$#@ rainbow swirl!"

    I hope that was clean.

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  11. Punky!

    "...the steamroller scene in Austin Powers." !! I spit out my afternoon coffee on that one!

    As for Thuggy?...I think he was just asking for a fork. (?)

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  12. Oh, and Hulk, uh, I mean Thuggy, needs to hit the restroom for a shave again. His lunch-o'clock shadow is back. Again.

    It's not good for Diner's already horrible reputation to see that a man can grow and shave a beard five or six times between ordering and leaving.

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  13. @Paul: Keep in mind that while your password may have been published nationally in countless newspapers, it was likely only read by the 15 of us or so who post here. Hopefully you've made a list of your accounts so you can quickly call them all.

    @@anonymous: while response time may typically be 2 hours, if the donut break is occurring at one of the Good Eats Diner franchises, you can add another hour or two due to the 'service.'

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  14. @Dave in Parma: Thank you so much for the tip. I changed each symbol to its equilavent in the Etruscan language. This should prevent hackers from getting into Mary Worth Meets the Kardashians files. Top secret stuff. Keep this to yourself.

    Speaking of Parma, I passed thru Parma, OH in August 1990. Took an interesting photograph there. Maybe there are other Parmas.

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  15. We're reached that inevitable moment in every MW storyline where we are collectively banging our heads against our collective desks. LET'S GO, ALREADY! we are all shrieking. But Moy is content to loop around and loop around and prolong the agony... I mean, the entertainment.

    I encourage anyone who hasn't already done so to head over to the Worthy Awards and cast your vote - if you've been putting it off, now's the time. Amoeba Shirt needs your help! (OK, I'll stop politicking.) And happy new year to all Mary Worth pals! You are truly what make this so fun.

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  16. It took me awhile to realize that *&^96$#@ is actually *&^%$#@ - the 96 is a percent sign (%) and not the number 96.

    Must be my new glasses...

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  17. I just noticed that *&^%$#@ is merely the keys 8765432 in Caps, the cussing equivalent of "QWERTYUIOP." Even the cussing in this story lacks imagination.

    C'mon, mix it up a little, Moy.

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  18. By the time Moy concludes this melodrama, Thuggy will have a beard down to his knees.

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  19. Thuggy is just about to put his glass down and reach into the inside pocket of his jacket. Any guesses? Tommy gun? Cash? Credit card? Glasses so he can read the check?

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  20. McThuggy is going to get on the internet and leave terrible online reviews for Good Eats Diner.

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  21. I'm actually disappointed there isn't a diner at an adjacent table gasping in horror at the use of off-color language in a family establishment. Of course, it's funnier that poor little Emily, so traumatized by her bleak existence since being kidnapped, has become completely blasé about her kidnapper's potty mouth.

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  22. For those of you who are wishing for Mary to mix it up physically with Thicky Neckerson, I would remind you:

    Mary has a condominium association to meddle with...She can't be a vigilante too.

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Don't be shy! I'd love to hear what you have to say about Mary Worth. Just keep it clean, that's all I ask. This is a FAMILY FRIENDLY blog. I don't want to moderate comments, but I will if I have to.