Friday, October 5, 2012

Mary Worth 1,426

Yesterday, there was quite a bit of outrage from readers in our comments section when they learned that Dawn, who apparently has been attending Local University for at least eight years, declared that she had not declared a major because she had so many interests.

Today, Mary continues enabling Dawn's vapid apathy by telling her to take as much time as she needs.

Dawn, since your father is a complete nincompoop, and unable to relate to you in any way, I'm going to give you some fatherly advice: "Get your degree! College is essential, but it is an expensive speed bump in your life that you need to get over as quickly as possible. It doesn't matter what you major in. Enjoy it, but get out of there and get on with life.

"Oh, yeah, and stop wearing purple business suits."

Today's Full Strip

16 comments:

  1. Peggy OlsonOctober 5, 2012 at 7:26 AM

    Yes, Dawn, there is so much to see when you travel - such as classic marble statues (that resemble Dave), ocean vistas (viewed from a sinking ship), and majestic Italian coastlines (as seen from a rescue helicopter).

    Wanders, loved your fatherly advice about purple suits.

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  2. ThorpnotizedOctober 5, 2012 at 7:47 AM

    Is Mary now giving advice to her coffee cup in panel two? Time to switch to decaf! (Maybe Sanka?)

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  3. fauxprofOctober 5, 2012 at 8:01 AM

    OK...deep breath...repeat to yourself it's just a show, you should really just relax...nope, not working. Rant time.

    Mary, you fatuous old bag, get your head out of the coffee cup and notice the economy! Dawn doesn't HAVE time to find herself. She needs to get her behind in gear and choose a major and stick to it, or she needs to go out and get a job.

    Sheesh! Think of some of the stupid advice Mary has given other women about their careers: Lizs, give up the nursing job you spent four years of college getting, and go into sales. Nola, a life of selfless volunteer work, with no visible means of support is the best thing for you. Gina, marry a rich athlete, that soccer career will last forever.

    The Worthiverse is sure different from where I live.

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  4. heydaveOctober 5, 2012 at 8:36 AM

    I see your damn problem, lady. You've been on a couch sucking coffee with some old undead bitty for over a week now! Get on with it!

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  5. Mary's Old Lady SmellOctober 5, 2012 at 9:25 AM

    Dawn, I hear Syria is lovely this time of year. Pack your bags. The expenses will be my treat!

    PS: I LOVE the "undead" description... so true!

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  6. MeganOctober 5, 2012 at 9:31 AM

    I have three kids in college. All of them work part time. Get a job, Dawn. Get a job. How else do plan to pay for your travel? I can't imagine you staying in a hostel.

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  7. birdieOctober 5, 2012 at 9:32 AM

    Did the Westons inherit a fortune or something? Why is money never an issue in their planning? We still don't know how Wilbur afforded that trip on a columnist's salary, and now Dawn thinks she's going to have money for both perpetual studenthood and travel.

    Someone should warn Jim what a fiscal disaster she is.

    (These word verifications are getting very difficult, and they keep me from responding as often as I'd like.)

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  8. AnonymousOctober 5, 2012 at 10:07 AM

    @heydave - Is that "bitty" as in: confused, rambling, disconnected, or incoherent?

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  9. AnonymousOctober 5, 2012 at 10:24 AM

    Mary's face looks especially reptilian today. A forked tongue is going to emerge at any moment.

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  10. AnonymousOctober 5, 2012 at 10:48 AM

    I thought Dawn was majoring in volunteering . . .

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  11. Head ExplodingOctober 5, 2012 at 11:10 AM

    Make it stop. Please make it stop.

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  12. AnonymousOctober 5, 2012 at 11:25 AM

    Where can I get an Undead Biddy costume for Halloween?

    --Beagle Vet

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  13. MissScarletOctober 5, 2012 at 11:34 AM

    I've been having trouble posting too. But I tried to mention yesterday that Dawn will have difficulty if she is attending UC Santa Barbara (and "Santa Royale" is generally thought to be Santa Barbara). UCSB now limits students to 200 units and then kicks them out--degree or not.

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  14. megOctober 5, 2012 at 11:41 AM

    Assuming that the bespectacled gent in the photograph is Wilbur, why does his nose resemble a long, bent...carrot?

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  15. AnonymousOctober 5, 2012 at 12:22 PM

    REALLY? Mary? "Learning about yourself is the most important journey you'll ever make!" This is your advice to one of most narcissistic characters we've ever met?

    The only (albeit mild) breakthrough of this tedious storyline is that Dawn may have experienced some degree of compassion, and Mary reminds her to focus on HERSELF?

    I'm tired of this journey. I've learned everything there is to know about Dawn and it IS NOT important. It's not important at all.

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  16. Maude FindlayOctober 5, 2012 at 1:59 PM

    Is Mary about to burst into her version of ''The Greatest Love Of All''?

    ReplyDelete

Don't be shy! I'd love to hear what you have to say about Mary Worth. Just keep it clean, that's all I ask. This is a FAMILY FRIENDLY blog. I don't want to moderate comments, but I will if I have to.