Mary Worth 1,496

Meanwhile, across town, Dr. Cory gets disappointing news:

Dear Dr. Cory:

We regret to inform you that your submission to the Santa Royale Cake Designing Competition 2013 sponsored by Geritol does not meet our exacting standards.

This year's theme is unicorns. Babies were three years ago.

Sincerely,

The Cake Designing Ajudicators

Here's a video of Dr. Cory's cake. You may not want to watch:

And with that, I'll wish everyone a very Happy New Year! It's been a great year at Mary Worth and Me. I've loved all of your comments and observations. If you haven't had a chance to vote for your favorites, remember to vote before January 4.

Mary Worth 1,495

At this pace? Uh, not likely.

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Mary Worth 1,494

While John Dill is distracted by the legal mumbo-jumbo of his three page entry form, his mustache slowly creeps past his nasolabial fold in a desperate effort to escape. Mustache has seen what happens when John let's his cake dream get the best of him. Two words: frosting rake.

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Mary Worth 1,493

John Dill's oddly mutated thumb, while a hindrance for a hotel manager, proved to be uniquely suited for cake decorating. Geneticists and bakers alike studied the ways it enabled him to manipulate his frosting tools to create enhanced detail no other human could attempt.

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Mary Worth 1,492

That's a great idea Toby! Mary would easily beat John Dill, and laugh at him all the way to the winner's circle!

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Mary Worth 1,491

Mary's word contribution is lovely as well. She makes beautiful sentences as well as cravat knots.

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Mary Worth 1,490

The greatest gift of all: Roasted Dawn, straight from the oven.

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Mary Worth 1,489

Oh, Toby, that's the best part of all! He's an ex-hotel manager! Ha ha ha ha ha.

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Mary Worth 1,488

Last month my oldest daughter finished submitting her college applications. I told her this exact thing!

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Mary Worth 1,487

I just love how well crafted and inspiring this platitude is. So many of us are not who we are. And this just inspires me to correct that. I mean, I will if I am who I am, because if I am not who I am, then I really can't correct anything. Someone else will have to.

Edited to add: A big thank you to those of you who surprised me this morning with donations. This will really help Dan Smithers get back on his feet. Or I may just take my family to see "Les Miserables" instead. You guys are the best!

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Worthy Award Nominees 2012 - Please VOTE

The nominees have been chosen! The condo board has deliberated and selected those meritorious achievements that they have deemed worthy of a 2012 Worthy Award.

Now it is up to you, dear readers and fellow citizens of Santa Royale.  Below  you will find the nominees for each category. After considering the nominees, please use the polling device for each category to make your selection.

Thank you,

The Condo Board


OUTSTANDING PROP 2012
Please select one of the following panels below for outstanding use of a prop in 2012. Please use the interactive poll below the four panels to cast your vote.

Mary's Big Computer

Big Rubber Finger

Chin Napkin

Jim's New Arm

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A GUEST CHARACTER IN 2012

Please select the outstanding performance by a guest character in 2012.

Magical Hobo

Nola Wolvenson

Emily Smith from Goleta

Jim

surveys & polls

OUTSTANDING USE OF PROFANITY IN 2012

Please select the most outstanding use of profanity in 2012.

Dan Smithers

Nola Wolvenson

Wayne the Kidnapper

Cruise Ship Passenger

Cruise Ship Captain

surveys & polls

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A REGULAR CHARACTER

Please select the outstanding performance by an established character in 2012.

Mary Worth

Wilbur Weston

Dawn Weston

Jeff Cory, M.D.

survey solutions

OUTSTANDING PANEL OF 2012

Please select the outstanding panel of 2012.

Jim "Bob"

Our Social Order

Reminds me of Dave

Gina in the Sky

surveys & polls

OUTSTANDING STORY OF 2012

Please select the outstanding story of 2012.

Woo-Hoo Bobby

Whatever Nola Wants

Kidnapped! (or Free Ice Cream)

Life is Brutal

survey tools

Thank you for participating in this year's Worthy Awards. Voting will close on January 4, 2013.

Mary Worth 1,486

Well, this plot is really heating up quickly! A competition for cake designers? Whoa! Who would ever expect a retired hotel manager to come in and upset the establishment? And when he elicits the help of Santa Royale's most experienced celebrity chef, Mary Worth, those culinary school graduates won't have a prayer. Sorry, suckers, John Dill just laughed at you from the winner's circle.

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Mary Worth 1,485

There is something so inspiring about a man who dreams of working at the Kroger bakery. It makes me realize that my dream of driving a UPS truck isn't so ridiculous after all.

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Mary Worth 1,484

John Dill's wife recently passed away, and apparently the neighbors made a huge 12-layered pink frosted cake with unicorns and candles to celebrate?

It's a brand new story and I already have no idea what's going on!

And congratulations to HeyDave for predicting today would be the start of a new story. It's a Christmas miracle!

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Mary Worth 1,483

Something tells me this story is about to get VERY interesting.

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Mary Worth 1,492

Deep down? If 600 text messages and 47 voice mails is "deep down," than look out when Dawn becomes demonstrative.

And what is Jim thinking? Does he mean he hasn't given up on their friendship? Or does he mean, "One day, one day YOU will be mine, sister-wife! Bwah hah hah hah."

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Mary Worth 1,481

Mary's going to need a lot more than friendship to fight off that book case that's rapidly sneaking up from behind!

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Mary Worth 1,480

"Mary Worth & Me" is shut down until further notice.

... Wait a minute ... Are you a kindred spirit? You read Mary Worth too?? I had no idea!

On second thought, I'm keeping the blog up and running. It's a Christmas miracle.

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Mary Worth 1,479

It was a profound moment when Queen Elizabeth first said this after 9/11. Today not so much. Particularly since Mary thinks that if she just adds an "i-n-g" to grief and love, she doesn't have to attribute her source.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Mary Worth is not a very good writer.

Now here's something a little more profound:

Landfill Harmonic film teaser from Landfill Harmonic on Vimeo.

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Mary Worth 1,478

Finally. They take that long walk off a short pier.

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Mary Worth 1,477

I think Jim actually did grow a new arm. No one has used the word prosthetic, and the digital mobility of his left hand is far too advanced, at least on his teacher's salary.

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Mary Worth 1,476

Forget all the bad stuff. Like Merry's untimely death. And Lance Armstrong's disgraceful doping. Live Strong.

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Mary Worth 1,475

Uh oh. Dawn, I'm not sure that it's a good idea for you to start speaking on behalf of Jim's dead sister. He already thinks you look just like her, and now he's confusing your support for hers.

But I suppose that in a few days, this story will conclude and you'll never see him again anyways, so it really doesn't matter.

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Mary Worth 1,474

Well, it appears things are back to normal. Jim grew his arm back, and he's no longer a rage-aholic. And look, here comes his dead sister Merry walking down the pier. Isn't it nice how these things always seem to work out?

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Mary Worth 1,473

You know, I don't think the weakness lies with the writer. I think it lies with the readers. At first I read this panel and thought, "This is good writing, but not GREAT writing." But then, I pictured a superb actor like Sir Ian McKellen or Sir Alec Guinness, or Catherine Zeta Jones (because I am always picturing Catherine Zeta Jones), and the writing became genius.

So if you ever think you are reading less than GREAT writing in Mary Worth, stop and ask yourself for just a moment... "Who is really at fault here?"

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