Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Mary Worth 1,558

Mary's mascara is a little trashy, don't you think? Just like in those romance novels she's reading all the time.

Today's Full Strip

20 comments:

  1. Tom Harpman is aging rapidly under Elinor's basilisk-like glare. Actually, so is Mary. She seems to be developing a dowager's hump along with the bags under her eyes.

    BTW, how are they holding those utensils? There's no visible thumb involvement. Magnetized fingertip grips?

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  2. I think Wilbur has the conversation bugged (see the antennae emanating from the plant)in order to get some romance tips from Mary.

    Now we know why Mary's book shelves are always filled with nondescript brown or grey plain covered books: she has sleeve covers over the bare-chested Fabios in her extensive collection.

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  3. Elinor's Lemon and Alum Whiskey SourMarch 20, 2013 at 8:37 AM


    Is it Mary that is speaking or are the words coming from the microphone in the flower arrangement?

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  4. There certainly are a lot of flies buzzing around Beth today. Did she forget to shower?

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  5. Beautifully? Is Mary reading courtly romances from the time of Eleanor of Aquitaine? I can think of a lot of words for modern romance novels, but "beautiful" ain't one of them.

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  6. Wow. I thought Elinor was scary, but Mary looks like something out of Nosferatu.

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  7. Well, now understand why Mary constantly throws cold water on Dr. Jeff's attempts to take their relationship to the next level - she harbors all manner of romantic fantasies from the Harlequins she's been reading. How can the humdrum Dr. Jeff compete? From the look of her today, she must have stayed up all night turning pages, because she looks extremely haggard.

    The last time we heard a diatribe like Elinor's it was coming from the drunken Jill Black. Those two should team up! (BTW, something about Elinor's profile today reminds me of Sandra Day O'Connor.)

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  8. Ah, the Worthiverse. For dreamers, by dreamers.

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  9. But, Wanders, no face-touching in this panel!

    Tom Harpman goes to the same barber as Jim. They have become virtually indistinguishable from each other.

    And Mary doesn't even look like herself today. Heavy lines around the mouth, heroin-chic eye makeup, bad posture...something was wrong with that lamb.

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  10. As Mary gestures that she's choking on her Wal-Mart lamb, Beth gets that buzzy feeling in panel 2 from her 'regular' water.

    (Clevelanders: feel free to insert "Marc's Aisle 1" in place of "Wal-Mart' above).

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  11. @Dave in Parma at 9:44 AM, those fuzzy pink flowers came from the closeout aisle at Marc's.

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  12. I think Mary is preparing to do some bodice-ripping on herself. Just the thought of romance novels causes her to lose control.

    This will only confirm Elinor's opinion of the genre.

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  13. Chin Napkin GroupieMarch 20, 2013 at 10:40 AM

    In panel two, is Eleanor morphing into Mary? They look remarkably alike today.Did Uncle Joe confuse the two old biddys? Could this be the beginning of an invasion of the body snatchers?

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  14. With a few more hundred thousand fans like Mary, Beth may finally be able to afford a quality hairdresser and could say "Goodbye!" to Great Clips.

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  15. Are we going to find out that Beth is the author of Fifty Shades of Grey? If she is, I'm not sure that "beautiful" is the word to describe that kind of romance.

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  16. And the three of us like asparagus too. In fact, asparagus is one of our favorite spring vegetables. Beth, Tom, did you know that asparagus was once classified as a lily? Isn't that romantic!?

    More lemon, Elinor?

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  17. I wonder what kind of electrical appliance will Mary confess to being tomorrow...

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  18. 50 years ago, in a small town in Wisconsin:
    Young Elinor Frances Underwood, (known to her classmates as Elinor FU, to differentiate her from fellow senior Elinor Curtis Lemay), goes to see a psychologist in a nearby small city.

    Elinor FU is unable to get a date to the prom, or to the movies, or even to the church box supper social. She is hoping the good doctor can give her some advice.

    Doctor, what is my problem? Why can't I find love?

    Well, Elinor, your breath smells like asparagus.

    That's outrageous! I want a second opinion!

    Okay, you're ugly, too.

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  19. Elinor may say Beth is a dreamer, but this dinner party reveals she's not the only one... Fellow romance-novel fans Mary and Tom have adamantly joined her, and they hope Charterstone will live as one, lovelorn and happily munching on asparagus. (after John Lennon's "Imagine," sort of)

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  20. Elinor will be such a big hit at the next Charterstone Pool Party!

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Don't be shy! I'd love to hear what you have to say about Mary Worth. Just keep it clean, that's all I ask. This is a FAMILY FRIENDLY blog. I don't want to moderate comments, but I will if I have to.