Thanks to Uncle Joe for making me laugh out loud on a Sunday morning. If this isn't a panel of the year nominee, I'll eat...nothing that Beth cooks, thank you.
BETH KINLEY'S SALT-ENCRUSTED FISH
1 whole fish, preferably dead (do not gut, scale or clean in any way) Salt
Place (optionally) dead fish in pan. Add salt. Lots of salt. Lots and lots of salt. Cook until disgusting. Serve to cruel, soul-destroying mother.
Beth is passive-aggressively killing Elinor, who tosses down blood pressure meds like Skittles.
Beth cooks with enough salt to float the old bat.
Beth: Here's dinner, Mother. Elinor: What is it? You know I hate lamb, asparagus, potatoes, chicken-- Beth: Of course. It's salmon, which is heart-healthy. Eat as much as you can. I'm so worried about you.
Elinor's gonna be running about 300 systolic after that meal. Maybe she'll explode. If the ungutted, no-doubt-rotten fish doesn't get her first.
Gee, Mr. Hunk hasn't called me since the LAST time I cancelled...how many times is he supposed to call, Beth? How you look on the outside ought to be irrelevant (sadly, it's not), but Beth seems to be kinda...clueless.
What's with the dangerous cooking? Whenever there is a pan on the stove in this strip the handle is sticking out. Big no-no because you can bump into the handle and knock the hot pan and food onto yourself. Which would be totally gross if it was that fish.
That is one very tall stove--or is Beth kneeling before the fish as she pours on the garlic? How can she even see the fish in that pan? Also, pan handles are supposed to be turned to side of the stove--not sticking out the front. All that rising steam is fogging up her glasses. I see an accident waiting to happen.
-- good for Beth! Apparently our Plain Jane will have a shot now due to Mary mangling his leg with her car (I've actually envisioned Mary as a Vespa girl, but I digress). I see Tom Harpman with his right pant leg pinned up to his buttocks a'la the Aquaman looking guy's arm (or lack thereof) from the story last fall.
And while I know it took me until my early 30s to find a far-sighted lass to marry me and therefore I might not have grounds to comment (OR may be over-qualified to do so), but is Tom Harpman really jumping at the chance to have this old meddler look into his potential love interest for him?! I can see the conversation now:
Mary: 'Tom Harpman said not to mention that he asked, but are you interested in him?'
Uh-oh! Mary's kicked the meddling up a notch! She looks absolutely beneficent as she forces Tom and Beth to get together. She knows full well that their insecurities will result in a horrifically neurotic relationship and is happy at the thought!
Sometimes, all you've got to work with are the background details, but these are rich with potential. For example, black walls are a bold choice, but is this really the right choice for Mary? Also, when Mary buys a picture frame, does she just keep the anonymous photo that comes with it? Or is that Emily Smith from Goleta?
Notice the corner of a monitor behind Beth. She may not have her own phone, but she and Mommy Dearest do have a computer! Unless that's some kind of mirror, not a monitor after all....
Beth seems clueless as to the meaning of "come over." "Come over, Mary? You mean like for a visit, or maybe a slumber party? Let me clear it with my mother."
Since fauxproof has mentioned the portrait, I find it interesting that it depicts only part of the subject's face. I also like the lamp-cum-table thingy on which it is sitting.
@KitKat: not to nitpick with your usual stellar vision, but I'm thinking the computer may be there into which beloved Mama Kinley practices her grimace expressions.
Don't be shy! I'd love to hear what you have to say about Mary Worth. Just keep it clean, that's all I ask. This is a FAMILY FRIENDLY blog. I don't want to moderate comments, but I will if I have to.
I'm glad to see Beth taking some action. Is that enough poison to kill Elinor? Or just to strengthen her immune system?
ReplyDeleteMan, where is Roy Liechtenstein when you really need him? (dead, I know). The last 3 days of panels look like Liechtenstein source material.
ReplyDeleteThanks to Uncle Joe for making me laugh out loud on a Sunday morning. If this isn't a panel of the year nominee, I'll eat...nothing that Beth cooks, thank you.
ReplyDeleteBETH KINLEY'S SALT-ENCRUSTED FISH
1 whole fish, preferably dead
(do not gut, scale or clean in any way)
Salt
Place (optionally) dead fish in pan.
Add salt. Lots of salt. Lots and lots of salt.
Cook until disgusting.
Serve to cruel, soul-destroying mother.
Hey, fauxprof, at least we can tell it's a fish on our plate. That's a whole lot better than most of the cooking going on in Santa Royale.
ReplyDeleteI always thought it wasn't food unless it was orange and could be eaten with a spoon!
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one who hates to see a grown man's lip quiver?
ReplyDeleteJoe Giella MUST read this blog. Just picture him cackling as he drew that fish - "Ha, let those jokers comment on THIS, bwa ha ha!"
ReplyDeleteElinor's interception? I picture her on the defensive line, not in the secondary.
Fashion memo to Mary: Watch it with that scarf - remember what happened to Isadora Duncan.
If Mary answers, "yes," we may see a new storyline start tomorrow, but she won't.
ReplyDeleteI'm looking forward to another confrontation between Mary and Elinor, so "let the games begin," or continue anyway.
Beth is passive-aggressively killing Elinor, who tosses down blood pressure meds like Skittles.
ReplyDeleteBeth cooks with enough salt to float the old bat.
Beth: Here's dinner, Mother.
Elinor: What is it? You know I hate lamb, asparagus, potatoes, chicken--
Beth: Of course. It's salmon, which is heart-healthy. Eat as much as you can. I'm so worried about you.
Elinor's gonna be running about 300 systolic after that meal. Maybe she'll explode. If the ungutted, no-doubt-rotten fish doesn't get her first.
ReplyDeleteGee, Mr. Hunk hasn't called me since the LAST time I cancelled...how many times is he supposed to call, Beth? How you look on the outside ought to be irrelevant (sadly, it's not), but Beth seems to be kinda...clueless.
--Beagle Vet
What's with the dangerous cooking? Whenever there is a pan on the stove in this strip the handle is sticking out. Big no-no because you can bump into the handle and knock the hot pan and food onto yourself. Which would be totally gross if it was that fish.
ReplyDeleteThat is one very tall stove--or is Beth kneeling before the fish as she pours on the garlic? How can she even see the fish in that pan? Also, pan handles are supposed to be turned to side of the stove--not sticking out the front. All that rising steam is fogging up her glasses. I see an accident waiting to happen.
ReplyDeleteThere is a head, tail, and scales on that fish! Did she gut it, I wonder? Who gets the part with the eye? I know who I'd give it to...
ReplyDeletei see the next season of Games of Drones has begun...
ReplyDeleteMonday
ReplyDeleteBoy, that Tom Harpman is hot, with the orange/black checked sport coat and red-striped tie. Not to mention his blond Wolfman hair - hubba hubba!
Uh oh, Mary's going into high-octane meddling mode.
What's with the abandoned cars in the lot? No one would consciously park that way.
Monday
ReplyDelete@KitKat--the odd placement of abandoned cars is because Mary has run into many people in the parking lot--literally!
Monday:
ReplyDeletere: 'As Mary runs into Tom in the parking lot'
-- good for Beth! Apparently our Plain Jane will have a shot now due to Mary mangling his leg with her car (I've actually envisioned Mary as a Vespa girl, but I digress). I see Tom Harpman with his right pant leg pinned up to his buttocks a'la the Aquaman looking guy's arm (or lack thereof) from the story last fall.
And while I know it took me until my early 30s to find a far-sighted lass to marry me and therefore I might not have grounds to comment (OR may be over-qualified to do so), but is Tom Harpman really jumping at the chance to have this old meddler look into his potential love interest for him?! I can see the conversation now:
Mary: 'Tom Harpman said not to mention that he asked, but are you interested in him?'
Plain Beth: ?!
MONDAY--
ReplyDelete(every day in the Beth-SuperTom saga, really)
Why didn't Tom just call Beth on her cell phone? Or why not just text her?
Instead, this grown man is playing the middle school "Ask Her If She Likes Me" game by using a go-between.
Actually, now even elementary school kids--some of them--have cell phones and don't need this gambit anymore.
(Even Dawn and Jim had cellphones.)
Going from the last panel Sunday to the first Monday got me humming some Morrissey ('Everyday is Like Sunday').
ReplyDeleteWay to mail it in Ms Moy.
Mr. Allora has been meaning to stripe the parking lot but has been sidelined for weeks by a bad back strain.
ReplyDeleteMary: Mr. Allora, you haven't been looking too well lately. I've made you some of my famous chicken sou--
Mr. Allora: Aiieeeee! Noooo! Go away from me, lady!
Uh-oh! Mary's kicked the meddling up a notch! She looks absolutely beneficent as she forces Tom and Beth to get together. She knows full well that their insecurities will result in a horrifically neurotic relationship and is happy at the thought!
ReplyDeleteP.S. The ants are back!
ReplyDeleteIs this the first time Elinor has sabotaged a prospective relationship for Beth? Hasn't Beth caught on yet?
ReplyDeleteLuckily, this time she has Mary to
open her eyes.
Sometimes, all you've got to work with are the background details, but these are rich with potential. For example, black walls are a bold choice, but is this really the right choice for Mary? Also, when Mary buys a picture frame, does she just keep the anonymous photo that comes with it? Or is that Emily Smith from Goleta?
ReplyDeleteNotice the corner of a monitor behind Beth. She may not have her own phone, but she and Mommy Dearest do have a computer! Unless that's some kind of mirror, not a monitor after all....
ReplyDeleteBeth seems clueless as to the meaning of "come over." "Come over, Mary? You mean like for a visit, or maybe a slumber party? Let me clear it with my mother."
Since fauxproof has mentioned the portrait, I find it interesting that it depicts only part of the subject's face. I also like the lamp-cum-table thingy on which it is sitting.
ReplyDelete@KitKat: not to nitpick with your usual stellar vision, but I'm thinking the computer may be there into which beloved Mama Kinley practices her grimace expressions.
ReplyDelete(to clarify my gibberish above @Kit Kat as my usual subpar typing continues: I think it is a mirror, not a computer)
ReplyDelete@Dave in Parma, I hope we see Elinor gaze into the mirror and chant, "Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the crabbiest and most interfering of all?"
ReplyDeleteElinor, Elinor, in Santa Royale,
ReplyDeleteYou are the crabbiest old gal;
But when it comes to interfering,
Mary Worth's skills you are not nearing.
Color me dense, but what exactly is there about writing an advice column that Mary is going to show Beth?
ReplyDeleteMary: You see, dear, I just press these keys and my words appear like magic on the screen.
Beth: I sure picked a bad week to quit sniffing glue.
I literally laughed out loud, Kingle!
ReplyDelete@Kitkat: in a nice 'hello my pretties' wicked witch of the west voice of course.
ReplyDelete@Kingle: apparently we all did. Nice 'Airplane' reference/adaptation.