How did this winner ever end up divorced?
Today's the final day of our spring fund raising campaign to support the Santa Royale Rehabilitation Fund. We haven't quite reached our goal of $3 million, but it's been a great campaign so far. Thanks to everyone who has helped put food on my table this week (franks are not cheap you know). If you haven't had a chance to give yet, please help me reach my goal!
(And just in case there was any question, the Santa Royale Rehabilitation Fund is not a real 501(c)3 charitable organization. In fact, it's not even a real organization. I make this point just in case the IRS doesn't have a sense of humor. Just in case.)
Wanders, your secret message says it all - huzzah! That Tom Harpman - what a catch.
ReplyDeleteI hope Elinor accompanies Beth to the free meal ... err ... cuisine-making demo. For one thing, I want to hear her opinion of Tom's black walls.
The terms "cook" and "franks" are obviously euphemisms.
ReplyDeleteApparently, Tom has plenty of spare time these days; does he work at Mountview Hospital?
ReplyDeleteHey, they each bought Orange Box Of Food. So...there's that....
ReplyDeleteAnyway.
This dinner date is sure to land Elinor in the hospital.
ReplyDeleteI like how Tom Harpman is stealthily extracting one of Dawn's grocery bags as she chats --enamored-- with him.
ReplyDeleteWith the savings in food expense, no wonder he can afford such a snappy car!
I'm hoping for a Beth versus Mary cook-off contest in Tom's apartment soon. Super-salty whole fish versus kelk casserole would be a fun initial round.
ReplyDeleteBeth's grocery bag also contains those super-pointy dwarf bananas, found only in Santa Royale--exclusively at Food Team.
ReplyDeleteAs to what Tom Harpman likes to eat--oh, you know, pretzels, ribs, cold leftover pizza, ramen noodles. Tastes he formed as an undergraduate when he was studying for whatever anonymous career he has.
Any bets on what Beth will find when she get back to her apartment?? For sure, it'll be an angry Elinor but will she have fallen and couldn't get up? Will she be faking having passed out? Will she be talking to two of Santa Royale's 'finest' trying to file a missing person's report on Beth?
ReplyDeleteTom's appearance keeps changing. Is he the salt creature from Star Trek and Beth is his next victim? She uses a half a canister of salt on her fish, so she's an excellent choice.
ReplyDeleteNow Elinor will convince Beth that Tom is interested in her only as Domestic Help.
ReplyDeleteI think Elinor knows what Tom is interested in and it's not domestic help. Tom has the weiners but conveniently forgot the buns.
ReplyDelete"I need to learn how to cook for myself and it's just so sad how there is no way to learn on my own. If only there was a website on cookery basics or even a site of videos of people cooking a variety of dishes.
ReplyDeleteBut there isn't, so you are it, Beth! Seeing how I'm so lonely, cooking lessons with you will kill two birds with one stone... Do you know how to cook birds?"
Careful there, Lost - you're starting to get frighteningly good at that most awkward and artificial form of writing: Worth dialogue (worthalogue?). I'm afraid it may be like those facial expressions one makes as a child, and that your style will freeae that way...
ReplyDeleteJust how much cuisine do you think will fit in my pie hole, Beth?
ReplyDeleteTomorrow, Tom will hurl the giant can of Tomato at a furious Elinor, who's been pacing the lobby while waiting for her Jezebel of a daughter.
ReplyDeleteWanders took his money and ran.
ReplyDeleteDid TomHarpman buy only two bottles of beer? What's up with that. He must really like going to Food Team.
@Nance: wasting gasoline, which isn't green, to repeatedly return to Food Team for 2 bottles of beer.
ReplyDeleteI'm downright confused about the Charterstone facility. Sometimes it looks like a tilted two to three story building. Today with the elevator. Other times it has Alice in Wonderland-esque hallways. Does Tom's beer bottle have a label that says 'drink me'?
Tom is really showing himself to be more pathetic than ever. He's so lonely he jumps at the first single female in his path (other than MW, of course, but she's already 'spoken for'...). And he's so lazy he doesn't even seem to want to bother learning how to live like a normal independent adult. I'm surprised he knows how to boil water to make his hotdogs! He's PERFECT for Beth!!
ReplyDelete@JustSayin' at 11:32 AM, maybe Tom eats the "franks" right out of the package, which probably says "fully cooked." Now THAT'S pathetic!
ReplyDelete@Just Sayin' & KitKat--Around here, the young bachelors nuke their dogs.
ReplyDelete(Hotdogs & microwave, to be clear. After reading so much strange dialogue, I didn't want any MW readers from PETA to come after me.)
Do you realize that it's a week and a half since we've seen Elinor, and that was just the back of her head? C'mon, she's the only interesting character this strip has had since Nola, and is even nastier than Jill Black. Bring back Elinor! I miss her!
ReplyDeleteThis dialogue is so boring, I'm missing the cake carrying dialogue. THAT'S how boring this story is.
ReplyDeleteI decided to have sauteed salmon for dinner and the instant I sprinkled it with garlic salt, I started snickering.
ReplyDeleteNow I can't stop laughing! Beth, you have brought so much sunshine into my life. I didn't keep the head, tail and scales on, though.