I know, Mary. Right? Things are really moving along. But don't worry everyone, this story will slow down and we will all be able to relax.
For those of you who remember I'm in a play, we opened last night and it was pretty nerve racking for me. But I had a blast, and if you're in the Montgomery County, Maryland area, you can get ticket information here. I will be played by Ken Kensington.
As I said in Monday's secret message, a life debt can be a terrible imposition.
And as a reminder, if you're on a computer, you can hover your cursor over each image to receive your free secret message. Just one of the many services we offer here at Mary Worth and Me!
"Always?" Always would indicate that Mary Worth seems to have no beginning, that she meddled before the foundation of worlds. She was there, telling Eve not to eat the forbidden fruit; she was there, telling Martin Luther that the selling of indulgences might not be such a good idea; she was there, telling Ronald Reagan that he should just ask Gorbachev to tear down the Berlin Wall. And throughout it all, by her side was Olive, kindred and eternal spirits, pulling strings, meddling, shaping the world as we know it.
Today's strip is perhaps the best ever! Floating heads. A flashback of Mary's famous dive. And a suggestion that little Olive, with her psychotic hallucinations and tummy brain, has progressed beyond us on the evolutionary scale. This promises to be truly creepy, and just in time for Halloween!
When Mary says she was in the right place at the right time, she means, "I was sound asleep in my bed, when Olive disobeyed the messenger of God and fell in the pool. I had a nightmare that compelled me to dive into the murky waters of the pool at night. And fortunately, there was Olive at the bottom. Otherwise, think of my embarrassment if she hadn't been there. Everyone would think I was losing my mind!"
What 10-year-old child doesn't need extra advice from Mary Worth. It's what they crave! Just like Jeff craves extra attention from Mary, and has resorted to the old fish through the head routine to get it.
I was just thinking how we haven't seen Mary read emails in a while. This is thrilling! Today marks the official start of a new story and the possibilities are endless. However, I suspect she is off to the Philippines to rescue Wilbur who has just sent her a distressing message and needs money.
"Ian, now that we're back together, let's walk back and forth in front of Mary's window, so she can see that everything is okay for us AS INDIVIDUALS."
Don't thank Goodness, Mary. Thank YOU! Without your wisdom and advice, Toby might never have experienced a "change of heart." The only problem is, who will you sit poolside with and gossip about your latest intervention? Toby is going to be so busy taking care of Ian, you'll have to hang out with Wilbur.
And thus the transformation is complete. Toby is a robotic Stepford wife as aptly drawn by Joe Giella, and Ian is now a sensitive new age guy, as immortalized by Christine Lavin.
Them's about the most romantic words ever uttered. You know what else is romantic? Matching hemorrhoid cushions from Rite Aid. Of course, they should be washed occasionally.
Professor Cameron, who teaches English Lit and Creative Writing apparently, has revealed quite a bit about his professional insecurity with this admission. Also, he just called Toby a thing.
"Mary was right. You would look better without the beard. But you can keep the Irish spring jacket."
There are all kinds of off color remarks I could make about the surprise Toby is in for, but those are all too obvious.
I must admit, however, that this alleged story has been full of surprises. I was surprised when Toby was outraged that Ian would show up late for her show. I was surprised when Ian blew up because he felt unappreciated. I was surprised when Toby stormed out of the apartment insisting Ian not come looking for her. I was surprised when she literally walked down the hall and moved in with Mary. I was surprised when she announced she would never forgive Ian and then, without explanation, had a change of heart. I am now surprised that after firmly declaring that she would not come home until Ian had demonstrated a change in his behavior and treatment of her, she's come home without even having spoken with him.
This story has been full of surprises indeed. None of them resembling anything close to human behavior.
"We have our differences. I mostly wear lavender, but sometimes I wear orange. But he ALWAYS wears green. Once, he took it off to bathe, and I didn't recognize him."
Loyal citizen TKraft sure called it. This is beginning to look more and more like that story about the two cops who were in love and how the boy cop had to win the girl cop back so they rode a hot air balloon and beat up a mugger. Only in Ian's case, he's going to play the bagpipes for her and yell at an aggressive driver. Ah, love. It isn't for everyone.
Please don't let my wife read today's strip. For this reason, I'm not going to link to it today.
Human beings are complex, aren't they? Toby had a change of heart about speaking with Ian, and then when she does, she willingly forgives him without explanation. Who cares why. Who can explain these things we call homo-sapiens? It's all just part of this colorful tapestry we call life.
And then Ian said, "Just like you were wrong to imply that YOUR needs take precedence over MINE. So we were BOTH wrong."
While Floating Head fans will be all a-twitter at today's Double Header, today really is all about Ian. Such anxiety, and almost-but-not-quite desperation, so deserving. Mary's never seen him this way, and yet she's conjured the perfect representation of Ian's mental state all while driving without looking at the road.
