Am I still married? Welllll, heh-heh, I guess technically you could probably say that I am, My Beauty. But we aren't [air quotes] "married" married, if you know what I mean. Not really. So I'll say, No, I'm not [air quotes] "married."
Here, try the belette appetizer. I like it very much.
Strategic plot timing! It's Thursday, so Ned has Friday and the weekend to stammer through his answer. Judging from the look in his eye, either Dawn better know the Heimlich Maneuver, or he's about to turn into a zombie....
There is lovely music playing in the background. "Are you still married?" [record scratch]. Everyone listens in intently. Somewhere, not too far away, Mary's eyes light up. Her Meddler Sense is tingling. Why wasn't she informed of this situation, she thinks to herself.
Married? Don't be so provincial. I'm divorced in my heart and that's all that matters. After our two dinner dates, my pretty, it' you I have come to love. As long as we're discreet, nothing needs to change between us. Now, let's cement the deal at the Red Roof. And to prove that I truly care about you, I've even brought protection! By the way, please call me Doctor at the office.
Ned looks like he's about to (1) create a diversion by pouring his drink on his head, (2) create a diversion by tossing his drink at Dawn, or (3) faint. "Dr. Weasel, paging Dr. Weasel!"
Someone said it best in SeattlePi: Dr. McCreepy looks like he's going to do Ralph Kramden's "a humida humida humida".
Note to KM: please stop having Dr. McCreepy say "my lovely" to dumbo Dawn. I've been around the block and no man has ever called me "my lovely" and if he did, I probably would have to punch him in the face. It sounds so insincere and something a Nigerian scammer would say when he's pretending to be someone on a dating site. (Yes, I've run into a few of those, but unlike Dawn (or even Wilbur) probably would, I never sent them money.)
They seem to have quite the plethora of French restaurants in Santa Royale. Funny thing about those names-- they may be onto something. We were just in Toronto and ate at a fantastic French restaurant called La Banane. Yes, The Banana.
Dr. Ned can claim he's polyamorous. At least that's what the cool millenials talk about.
Don't be shy! I'd love to hear what you have to say about Mary Worth. Just keep it clean, that's all I ask. This is a FAMILY FRIENDLY blog. I don't want to moderate comments, but I will if I have to.
I wonder how that mass mailing about the new insurance policy worked out?
ReplyDeleteToday's Boldface Haiku is titled "I Suppose It Depends Upon Her Definition Of 'Married'".
ReplyDeleteNed?
Yes?
Still married?
Am I still married? Welllll, heh-heh, I guess technically you could probably say that I am, My Beauty. But we aren't [air quotes] "married" married, if you know what I mean. Not really. So I'll say, No, I'm not [air quotes] "married."
ReplyDeleteHere, try the belette appetizer. I like it very much.
-- Scottie McW.
So Dawn finally up and asks Dr. Dreamy if he's married. One can only hope she waited until after the lobster course before asking.
ReplyDeleteThe look on Ned's face tells all. He's just remembering now that Yes, he IS still married....
ReplyDelete...aannnddd, time for a pool party, end of story.
ReplyDeleteStrategic plot timing! It's Thursday, so Ned has Friday and the weekend to stammer through his answer. Judging from the look in his eye, either Dawn better know the Heimlich Maneuver, or he's about to turn into a zombie....
ReplyDeleteIf this were an old movie, he'd say, "My wife and I have an 'understanding.'"
ReplyDeleteThen again, Ned says things like "my lovely," so this IS an old movie. Really old. Like, sometime around 1910.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThere is lovely music playing in the background. "Are you still married?" [record scratch]. Everyone listens in intently. Somewhere, not too far away, Mary's eyes light up. Her Meddler Sense is tingling. Why wasn't she informed of this situation, she thinks to herself.
ReplyDeleteWhere's a damn strolling violinist when you need one?
ReplyDeleteThat candle with the dome on top is epic. Would love to see a Wicked Witch of the West crystal ball moment. Do it, June, do it!
ReplyDeleteIf this were a ’60’s soap opera (in black and white) now would be the time to hear an ominous organ chord. PRRR-PRRR-PRRR!
ReplyDeleteMarried? Don't be so provincial. I'm divorced in my heart and that's all that matters. After our two dinner dates, my pretty, it' you I have come to love. As long as we're discreet, nothing needs to change between us. Now, let's cement the deal at the Red Roof. And to prove that I truly care about you, I've even brought protection! By the way, please call me Doctor at the office.
ReplyDeleteNed looks like he's about to (1) create a diversion by pouring his drink on his head, (2) create a diversion by tossing his drink at Dawn, or (3) faint. "Dr. Weasel, paging Dr. Weasel!"
ReplyDeleteSandi Ego: strolling violinist? If I were Ned I'd be praying for mariachis.
ReplyDeleteSomeone said it best in SeattlePi: Dr. McCreepy looks like he's going to do Ralph Kramden's "a humida humida humida".
ReplyDeleteNote to KM: please stop having Dr. McCreepy say "my lovely" to dumbo Dawn. I've been around the block and no man has ever called me "my lovely" and if he did, I probably would have to punch him in the face. It sounds so insincere and something a Nigerian scammer would say when he's pretending to be someone on a dating site. (Yes, I've run into a few of those, but unlike Dawn (or even Wilbur) probably would, I never sent them money.)
What did Ted Confy call his gal? "Queenie", just s creepy as "my lovely", ,yeech.
ReplyDeleteTomorrow:
ReplyDeletePanel 1: Dawn and Ned stare at each other silently, Ned with exclamation point overhead.
Panel 2: Dawn and Ned stare silently at each other, sans exclamation point.
Panel 3: Dawn and Ned stare at each other silently as Jimney Cricket hope across the table.
They seem to have quite the plethora of French restaurants in Santa Royale. Funny thing about those names-- they may be onto something. We were just in Toronto and ate at a fantastic French restaurant called La Banane. Yes, The Banana.
ReplyDeleteDr. Ned can claim he's polyamorous. At least that's what the cool millenials talk about.