Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Mary Worth 2697

"Yes, Ned, I'm quitting YOU, and your gimpy little index finger!"

26 comments:

  1. Adulting looks good on Dawn. Very boring, but good.

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  2. Ned may have lost Dawn, but he'll always have that framed Perfect Attendance certificate.

    Here's hoping Dawn opens the door and Jared falls in.

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  3. "No, Dawn, please don't go! We have a mass mailing this week!"

    -- Scottie McW.

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  4. I was waiting for Dr. Ned to use a line from Brokeback Mountain: "I can't quit you" (But not for the same circumstance as in the movie, I hope!)

    Well Dawn, it was about time you quit. The fall semester is in full swing right now and you've probably missed five assignments that Harlan has given out. Adulting, indeed!

    Let the next story be about anyone but Dawn. I hate her. She's shallow, dumb as a box of rocks and would fall in love with a curtain rod if it gave her any attention. How about a story about Mary's erstwhile boyfriend Dr. Jeff or his boring kids? We haven't seen Adrian since she went on that honeymoon in Bora Bora about four years ago. Are they still there? Were they swept off by a hurricane and living on an island like Gilligan?

    @KitKat, I almost laughed out loud about the door opening and Jared falling in. I would have laughed out loud, but I'm at work and I want people to think I'm somewhat sane.

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  5. Today's Boldface Haiku is titled "Boldface: Getting The Job Done All By Itself".

    You're quitting?
    Yes, you!
    No, don't!
    Respect don't!

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  6. @Regina Wolfe-Parks 8:20 - I LOVE your post! Especially your remarks about Dawn. In addition to the characters you mentioned you’d like to see, I’d like to see a storyline about Professor Chinbeard. We haven’t seen him since Uncle Joe hung up his pen. I’d love to see the New Chinbeard and especially a new rendering of his Astroturf jacket.

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  7. Dawn should have gotten one more free meal out of the deal. Dinner at "Homard en colère", order the highest price dish, and then during dessert quit Ned and leave. So is Dawn going to stay on for two more weeks - the standard professional courtesy when leaving a job?

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  8. I'm really worried about Sue.

    And Avery.

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  9. Could Sue actually be Mrs. Fletcher? He only put the moves on Dawn when Sue went home to tend to Avery.

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  10. Could Sue actually be Mrs. Fletcher? He only put the moves on Dawn when Sue went home to tend to Avery.

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  11. The temp agency will not be happy, when you temp, you are employed by the agency, not the office you are working at. Dawn will have a hard time working with that agency again.

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  12. Let's all be thankful that today's strip wasn't a continuation of the conversation with Mary in the rose garden.

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  13. As Wanders has so accurately pointed out (smirk) it is obvious today why Dr. Ned could never have achieved main character status in the Worthiverse. As we all know, it is absolutely required that when driving home a point, all characters must jab their index finger into the face of the other character and well... All I can say is that it appears that Dr. Ned is somewhat "pointy finger" challenged.

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  14. Uh oh... did Roy get fired because he couldn't remember eye color? I see his name is missing from today's Moy / Brigman seal of approval.

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  15. Ian checks in from Seattle:

    Ian's spidey-sense, or Wolfbane-sense as it's called in the Highlands, tells him that Mary has intervened in the latest plot, and it will soon be over.

    ("When th' auld hen starts tae meddle, th' plot's in th' wey o settle.")



    Dearest Toby lassie,

    Ah am missin' ye greatly. Ah hope ye hud a wonderful time squeezed in a mini-suite wi' yer hen mukker on yer 103 day cruise. It must hae bin a lot pleasanter than sharin' a cramped dorm room in Seattle wi' Mr. snooty-snit professer Hilton Berkes.

    Thaur is no bad smell that doesnae come out of heem, especially in th' middle ay th' nicht efter drinking tay much (which Ah ne'er do).

    Luckily some ay th' yoonger students haur at th' teachin' summit seem tae like me, an' they hae invited me tae gang it several times. Last nicht we went doon tae Pioneer Square fur a few wee drinks, 'en we played miniature golf, which Ah seemed tae hae won. Ah hae a cupful ay quarters tae prove it.
    _______________________________________________________________________
    Seattle Post Intelligencer Police Log

    11:45PM
    Seattle PD was called to Pioneer Square to check on the welfare of an elderly man who was lying face down in the gutter wearing a green jacket apparently made from Astroturf. He was holding a cup above his head, which had golf balls in it. Witnesses said that college students were putting down the back of his jacket and into the cup.
    Two of Seattle's finest hoisted the old man to his feet and sat him on a bench in the Square, still holding his cup. Compassionate passersby dropped change into his cup so that he could have taxi fare.
    _______________________________________________________________________
    Anither crew ay yoongsters invited me tae gang campin' in th' Olympic National Park lest weekend. It was grand! We went skinny-dippin' in th' hot springs thaur, but when Ah cam out, Ah cooldnae fin' mah sark an' breeks, so Ah had tae go lookin' fur them. We aw hud a guid laugh an' a few wee drinkies.
    _____________________________________________________________________
    Olympic National Park Ranger Headquarters

    Saturday afternoon

    Several groups of excited campers reported having seen Bigfoot in the Park today, although some thought they had seen Sasquatch. All agreed in their description of him as a huge man-like creature, covered head to toe with curly white hair, lumbering and staggering through the forest near Sol Duc Hot Springs. No action was taken by Park Rangers.
    _________________________________________________________________________________________
    Yesterday afternoon we went tae th' Space Needle. Whit an adventure it was!

    Th' elevator wasnae workin' sae th' others decided nae tae go up. Ah did it! Ah climbed th' stairs! When Ah got tae th' top, th' others waur thaur waitin'.

    They hud climbed a set ay stairs oan th' other side ay th' Needle. Luckily th' elevator was repaired by th' time we hud a few wee drinks. That was th' end ay th' fun- when Ah got back tae th' dorm, Himself was thaur, pretendin' tae study, but he actually hud a copy ay Playboy hidden in his textbook. I'll be glad te see th' last ay heem.

    Yoor lovin' guidman,
    Ian MacTavish MacDoogaa Duncan Campbell Cameron

    PS I'll hae a not-so-wee surprise fur ye when Ah gie haem! See you in the gloaming!

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Seattle Post Intelligencer Police Log

    6:00PM Seattle PD was summoned to the top of the Space Needle to deal with a large and drunken group of college students. None were of legal drinking age, but they were vouched for by an elderly man who promised to see them safely back to campus on the Monorail. The group was escorted to the Monorail Station by Sergeants Gates and Cobain.

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  16. @Delilah: Thanks! But as always, Meg hits the home run of the day!!

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  17. Meg, thanks for the laugh this morning, I definitely needed it!

    When I was in Scotland earlier this summer I visited the Loch Ness Monster research center and they have video interviews of people who have seen Nessie. One of those witnesses was none other than Ian Cameron! I may be the only visitor to the center who ever laughed out loud at that.

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  18. Sandi Ego-

    E'en mah guidwife laughs a' me!
    Ian

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  19. Meg, Soooo hilarious. So perfectly capturing Seattle AND Ian Cameron! Particularly liked the reference to Seargeants (Bill?) Gates and (Kurt?) Cobain....Too bad Ian didn't have time to visit Jimi Hendrix' grave in Renton. I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge Dawn's pithy and wonderfully abrupt exit interview today with Dr. Inappropriate. Hope he does that thing with his eyes that he did when she revealed that she knew he was still married.

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  20. @meg wins by a mile! If there was a Worthy Award for comment of the year, she'd have my vote!

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  21. Lying on my fainting couch, blushing.

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  22. If the final resolution to this is that Dawn forgets about Ned by meeting someone within 10 years of her age and not "Mister-really-right-not-some-older-widow-or-lying-married-guy", this plot, it's still vapid story arc.

    How many times do we have to have a story of cheating husband? (Derek, Ned).
    How many different varieties must we suffer through.

    Time for Toby to cheat on Ian.

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  23. Oh, The day Dawn meets someone age and marriage status appropriate will be the day she gets written out of the Worthiverse...Guess one CAN hope.

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  24. Twenty-three comments today!! Wanders, is this a record? And there are quite a few hours to go until midnight.

    @meg, all I can say is Karen Moy's worst brings out your best. Huzzah!

    @Regina Wolfe-Parks, your comment about Dawn being falling in love with a curtain rod if it paid her any attention almost knocked me off my chair. It also reminded me of the classic Carol Burnett parody Went with the Wind.

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  25. Platinum for Meg, of course, but gold stars all around today! You folks rock.

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  26. Everyone's been five stars in the comments today!

    I went back to see how long it had been since we've seen Dr. Jeff's spawn. The last time we saw Adrian was January 2011. (Almost seven years!! For all we know she probably has five kids by now.) We last saw Dr. Jeff in 2014 when "tummy brain" wouldn't see Dr. Kaphut. As dull as these two are, they're a breath of fresh air from Dawn. Heck, I'll even take Toby and her lousy horse sculptures.

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