Focus, Wilbur! Stay focused! Remeber, Iris loves FLOWERS! Don't let a little thing like her PDA with Zak turn your brown eyes blue!
Focus, Wilbur! Stay focused! Remeber, Iris loves FLOWERS! Don't let a little thing like her PDA with Zak turn your brown eyes blue!
Must....get.....more.....flowers
ReplyDeleteThe third panel that was cut from syndication: Wilbur in another "AUUUGH" moment.
ReplyDeleteLike Scottie McW said I few days ago, this looks like it will end in a murder/suicide, although I'm hoping Iris and the neighbors stage an intervention with Wilbur a la Aldo and Wilbur does an Aldo. We spend one panel at Wilbur's funeral and the next panel will be the Charterstone annual pool party where Mary brings something indescribable.
Not even an "!!!" thought bubble coming from Wilbur's combed-over head. Karen't Moy must have taken off for the holidays. She better not cheat us of Zak's cousin's wedding - there should be weeks of hilarity there, and I can't wait!
ReplyDeleteWilbur managed to fasten his seatbelt while clutching the roses. Or did he pick them up after buckling? If so, was he planning on steering with one hand while peering through the greenery?
"Karen," not "Karen't," but maybe this iPad s commenting on its own...
ReplyDelete"Karen't" is SO perfect @kitkat, in autocorrect we trust
DeleteI hope June shows Zak and Iris doing the Electric Slide at the wedding reception. Hilarity ensues when Wilbur crashes the reception roses in hand.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of roses, it would have been even funnier if Wilbur’s roses wilted like they do in the cartoons.
Life is brutal, fyi.
ReplyDeleteToday's Boldface Haiku is titled
ReplyDelete"Silent AAAUGHH!" or "(Don't) Say It With Flowers".
I almost feel sorry for Wilbur..... The bumper off his still Oldsmobuick breached up on the curb like it is. Hopefully he doesn't take the oil pan off backing up from there.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, the Iris/Zak thing too. Gotta be rough seeing a guy whose face looks like your legs stealing tour girl you broke up with over the internet.
('stylish' Oldsmobuick 'beached'....)
DeleteOf course 'Oldsmobuick' is the only one that made it through auto-correct (no pun intended) correctly.
ReplyDeleteThe parking lot at Charterstone is a hotbed of sex and intrigue, what with Zak and Iris brazenly making out like teen-agers, Wilbur following up his spying thing with his stalking with roses thing, and Mary and Toby taking it all in from behind the windows.
Come on, Moy, don't let us down again. This story line has such great potential for shenanigans and slapstick, hurt feelings and bitter arguments. Let's get Tommy involved too! Don't let this plot die a wimpy death like you did with Entertainer Esme and the gang.
-- Scottie McW.
Had more the look of a sexy 7-11 or Circle K (strange things are afoot at the Circle K). Perhaps Zak is waiting for his dealer, Tommy, to arrive. Iris would surely AAAAAIIIIII!
DeleteAnd please don't call me Shirley.
If fisticuffs ensue in the parking lot, can "Blood and Roses" by the Smithereens please be added to the jukebox?
ReplyDeleteWhat a stellar song! Great band!
DeleteWilbur with Bambi-eyes is almost enough to engender sympathy—if he weren’t such a consummate jerk. This situation has so much potential for “Karen’t” (oh, KitKat!) to squander.
ReplyDeleteAnd kudos to Nance for solving the boldface haiku conundrum.
Hmmm.. How about adding "Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue" (by Crystal Gayle) to the Jukebox?
ReplyDelete@fauxprof--I exercised a bit of Poetic License. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteEveryone forgets that Wilbur dumped Iris for the hot Latina chick. He's an idiot in more ways than one
ReplyDeletePut some mayo on the roses and eat them Wilbur.
ReplyDeleteThese comments about Wilbur and mayonnaise have to stop. I believe that he is an extra mustard man. Got to focus on the details, people.
ReplyDeleteMary Worth and Me 1684, 9/25/2013
Saturday's strip, second panel - Wilbur: D'ohhhhh!
ReplyDeleteThis will progress to "You're schmoopy"---"No, you're schmoopy" on Sunday eliciting the long awaited "Aaaaaaiiiiiii' from Wilbur.
ReplyDeleteThe alternate reasoning for the image in panel 2 is that the Wilbur panels have been in slow-mo the last few days, and we're finally seeing when his car hit the curb. Looks like the airbag is starting to go off, smashing the roses into Wilbur's face, fittingly crushing them like his dreams.
ReplyDeleteWilbur thought balloon: "Looks like I picked the wrong week to give up hopelessness."
Seriously, anybody else would no doubt engender much sympathy from the wonderful folks who publish and frequent this site. But Willie's such an arrogant, vain tool that he invites only ridicule.
-- Scottie McW
"Love you, honey." "Love you, too." Say WHAT? There's not even a solitary exclamation point in there! This is what people who have been married for 20 years say, not a gaga googoo hot-to-trot twosome. I think Zakky Boy really does have mommy issues. He'd probably run away from a sexy babe like Fabiana or Entertainer Esme. I can picture him hiding his face in Iris's lap: "Mommy, she scares me!"
ReplyDeleteKaren't Moy is doing a bait and switch on us, people - we'll never see that wedding. Mary will come upon a sobbing Wilbur, blubbering into the roses, and it will rapidly go downhill from there. Platitude alert!!!
ReplyDeleteI hope Iris calls Zak "Mi Amor." Then Zak can reply, "You a more WHAT?" It would also drive Wilbur over the edge.
-- S. McW.
Wilbur continues to play games with his eye color. Today's we can't even tell.
ReplyDeleteNever before have I reveled so much in someone else's misery. You did this to me, Karen Moy.
ReplyDeleteLOL Yahoonski. Monday: Wow Wilbur just barge into someone's home unannounced with your startling proclamation. But since it's Mary's home, she's reveling in the fact that you barged it so she can bribe you with Kelk muffins and tea before the great meddle. To quote Ms. Bette Davis: "Fasten your seatbelts, it's gonna be a bumpy ride."
ReplyDeleteAlso Wanders, a suggestion for the Charterstone Jukebox: "I'm Not in Love" by 10CC
ReplyDeleteA sandwich throw from Irisalem
Weelbur walks back to Mary tonight
And though a million Zacks were smiling
His hair had departed to a distant planet
To play around a Bogota moon
Whirling in a salsa of Fabianess
He’s lost without, true
He’s lost within, too.
And all his mayo turns to mush
And falls into the sea
He lost his Speedo too
He lost his Speedo too.
And from the dark tea-cupped sallies
He hears the ancient meddle Worthless
But every step he stalked behind you
Every step behind you
And every rose a thorny meal
The leavings of a masticated bouquet
Tell me how much younger
How much younger?
They say a meddle in Mary lies
Ready with her deathly sting
But the meddle will break his heart to pieces
While Iris and Zack kiss as they do their thing
These are the sandwiches of ham
This is the scum of his infatuation
It would make a mess up of his life
If Iris is happy or Zack’s wife.
And crawling and crouching in the dust
Stalking from behind a tree
Needing to rush back and poo
But too far from the loo –
And never in his life
Has he felt as unloved as he does now
Even the elephant seal in the Antarctic Sea
Now no longer means a thing to he
No greater mysteries
In all our histories
Than how Weelbur ever had love.
A sandwich-throw from Charterstone
Weelbur crawls to Mary tonight
And though a million muffins were on offer
His heart was clogged with many plaquelets
That grew out of the mayo spoon
That he licked in hungry madness
Weelbur sips the devil’s brew
Weelbur will drink Mary’s too.
Though Mary took his column
And Wendy was she
He should be dead, but went for bust
Frolicked in Bogota’s sea
And his Speedo filled with sand
And Zack filled Iris, see
Weelbur’s fit for the zoo
Weelbur’s fit for the zoo.