Thursday, May 3, 2018

Mary Worth 2877

Don't worry, Mary. Wilburs bounce.

20 comments:


  1. Wilbur stands on the brink, literally and figuratively. The slightest thing could push him one way or the other.
    Then he sees Mary pulling up.

    "Oh no" he exclaims. "Geronimoooooooooooooo . . . "

    [Splat]

    -- Scottie McW.

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  2. The last time Mary saw Wilbur, he was feeling down but planning to get out in Nature and exercise more. She has no direct knowledge of his abortive attempt to buy new sneakers, his obsessive showering, country music wallowing, tragic radio malfunction and subsequent binge drinking. Yet, based on Mr. Allora’s diagnosis of Wilbur looking “bad”, she’s off to Lookout Point to prevent an incipient tragedy. Her Meddling Gene must include a kind of spidey-sense.

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  3. Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

    "How 'Dark' Can A Guy With A Hello Kitty Mug Really Get?".

    (Troubled. Ruminate...
    Dark?
    Called!)

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  4. Mary will lead Wilbur back to safety with a trail of muffins.

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  5. @fauxprof at 8:09 A.M., maybe Mary installed surveillance cameras throughout the Weston apartment while Wilbur was cavorting in Colombia and Dawn was making goo-goo eyes at her married boss.

    I bet Mary has a box of muffins with her.

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  6. Mary will discover Wilbur up at Lookout Point ( Lookout! ). He's up there singing favorite cuts from the Traveling Wilburys, another musical opportunity that bypassed him back when. He used to have their music loaded onto his now defunct shower music box.

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  7. Wanders, were you channeling (with "Wilburs bounce") the old jingle for Hasbro's toy figurines: "Weebles wobble but they don't fall down"? Wilbur's certainly been doing some wobbling lately.

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  8. I thought Mary drove a 70's van with a bubble window and a mural of a wolf howling at the moon. I bet she finds Wilbur drunk, naked and greased up with Crisco while screaming angrily at nature.

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  9. Big Friday Finish coming....Wilbur quoting Shakespeare as a storm swirls around him on the brink. He won't be drunk, by the way. He'll be shaking his defunct radio madly and pleading with Mary for some ibuprofen...

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  10. So, Mary gets to Lookout Point and finds a passed out Wilbur covered in his own filth.
    What's her next step exactly? She should have brought Mr. Allora along to help.

    Also, I enjoyed Mary's vocab word a day use of the verb ruminate. It appropriately casts Wilbur in a bovine light.

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  11. So here's Wilbur's Shakespeare quotation. "When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions" (from, appropriately, "Hamlet").. Good grief, this strip has me searching for words of wisdom as if I were supplying them to the Sunday strip... Must stop...

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  12. Maybe by the time Mary arrives at Lookout Point the police will already be there, flashing lights and police tape surrounding Wilbur's supine form. At least he didn't take Mary's muffins with him. And then Mary can ruminate on the drive back down.

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  13. Another playlist suggestion: Suicide is Painless.
    Serious comment: I'm afraid Maren Koy is going trivialize suicide just like she trivialized sexual assault.

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  14. Platitude-Generating RobotMay 3, 2018 at 11:24 AM

    Please sing in an operatic voice:

    Here she comes to save the DAY! ... MARY WORTH is on her WAY!

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  15. How many stomachs does a ruminant need to digest a muffin?

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  16. I just hope Mary gets there in time to hear "SPLAT". Then maybe we can turn our attention to a character that's less unlikable than Wilbur (anybody except Dawn).

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  17. My guess is that Wilbur, with a half bottle of scotch in hand, is having a wild, incoherent argument with several flower fairies at Lookout Point.

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  18. @fauxprof, yes! What is she basing this urgency on? Although he did share his country music wallowing with Mary, and she probably knows about the obsessive showing because Mr. Allora reported to her about Wilbur's excessive water usage. Still, that doesn't add up to a crisis. Maybe Mary was lurking behind the racks at Rick's (the Rick's racks?) and saw the Iris/Zak/footwear debacle. And maybe she noticed that "Survivor Stories" and "Ask Wendy" were no longer in the Santa Royale paper (I assume she would notice "Ask Wendy" was missing, since she's usually the one writing it). Then she stood outside WIlbur's door doing the old ear-to-a-glass-against-the-door trick, and could hear the clinking of bottles and Wilbur slurring the lyrics to country songs. She put two and two and two and two together and got MEDDLE!!

    The BFH title is spot-on, as always.

    @Yahoonski, I believe Wanders was referring to the Abominable Snowman in "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." Unfortunately, this is the best clip I can find:
    https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/af26bf9b-f1d4-43a3-9d1e-2d31db8484df
    And it is a perfect reference.

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  19. Chin Napkin GroupieMay 3, 2018 at 3:10 PM

    Poor Wilbur. If only his radio hadn't died.

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Don't be shy! I'd love to hear what you have to say about Mary Worth. Just keep it clean, that's all I ask. This is a FAMILY FRIENDLY blog. I don't want to moderate comments, but I will if I have to.