Oh, she has feelings for you, Ian. She feels you're a silly fool, a pompous old man, and a drunk, neglectful husband. Oh wait, the last one is how Toby feels.
Ian, take Steve Martin's advice: walk up to toby and say, “I break with thee… I break with thee… I break with thee…" and then throw dog poop on her shoes.
Use Greta's. I'm sure Old Man Wynters doesn't pick it up.
I was wrong. This story is not about Marital Communication, it’s about Marital Miscommunication. The real question is, will we continue to be able to scrape up enough snark about these two boring bozos?
Now, Toby, was THAT so hard?! Weeks of hand-wringing with Mary over wanting to appear calm and confident in front of Ian, and she blurts out "Are you having an affair?"...and Ian doesn't say, "Honey, I only have eyes for you." in response to Toby's worry about Jannie having "feelings" for him. No, he says (sounding almost regretful, in my imagination), "That turns out not to be the case"... This hardly seems like it would comfort Toby (It sure wouldn't comfort ME.), especially here on the virtual eve of Valentine's Day. Bah, humbug...
LouiseF, you are so right! "That turns out not to be the case" is hardly a ringing endorsement of the sanctity of marriage. Professor Chinbeard sounds regretful that there was no tryst with the lovely (albeit foul-mouthed) Jannie. If I were Toby, I would smash one of my gray clay sculptures over his head.
Wow, these two morons deserve each other. Toby, not wanting to look like a needy wife, opens her mouth and she looks as needy as ever and Ian with his "Well, I thought she had feelings for me, but I guess I was wrong" comment sound like a pair of jerks. You know this will end with a hugathon.
Meanwhile Jannie, as she smokes her knitting needle, contemplates on the foolish life choices she has made.
Ian: "No, Toby, you silly little drunk. I told you it was I that had feelings for her! Now, please tell me that's a nice piece of fish frying in the oil that's been sitting out in that dirty pot for the last two weeks!"
@Delilah: I run a theater company here in NYC and perhaps we could do a reading of your screenplay in the summer? You can contact me at equitylibrarytheater@gmail.com. www.equitylibrarytheater.info is our site.
I'm so glad they're finally opening up a dialogue. It's very important for married couples to open dialogues with each other from time to time. I certainly try to open a dialogue with my boyfriend on a regular basis.
Nothing else to add to all o your insights. These two were made for each other. *eye roll*
Don't be shy! I'd love to hear what you have to say about Mary Worth. Just keep it clean, that's all I ask. This is a FAMILY FRIENDLY blog. I don't want to moderate comments, but I will if I have to.
Ian, take Steve Martin's advice: walk up to toby and say, “I break with thee… I break with thee… I break with thee…" and then throw dog poop on her shoes.
ReplyDeleteUse Greta's. I'm sure Old Man Wynters doesn't pick it up.
ReplyDelete"No! Of course not! If I were having an affair, do you think I'd be here? Jeez, get a clue, My Dear."
I don't recall that Ian ever said the student "had feelings for" him. Is Toby just making that up?
-- Scottie McW.
No one can accuse Toby of beating around the bush.
ReplyDeleteToby is hard of hearing, Ian never said the word feelings. I guess she has too much clay stuck in her ears.
ReplyDeleteI was wrong. This story is not about Marital Communication, it’s about Marital Miscommunication. The real question is, will we continue to be able to scrape up enough snark about these two boring bozos?
ReplyDeleteNow, Toby, was THAT so hard?! Weeks of hand-wringing with Mary over wanting to appear calm and confident in front of Ian, and she blurts out "Are you having an affair?"...and Ian doesn't say, "Honey, I only have eyes for you." in response to Toby's worry about Jannie having "feelings" for him. No, he says (sounding almost regretful, in my imagination), "That turns out not to be the case"... This hardly seems like it would comfort Toby (It sure wouldn't comfort ME.), especially here on the virtual eve of Valentine's Day. Bah, humbug...
ReplyDeleteLouiseF, you are so right! "That turns out not to be the case" is hardly a ringing endorsement of the sanctity of marriage. Professor Chinbeard sounds regretful that there was no tryst with the lovely (albeit foul-mouthed) Jannie. If I were Toby, I would smash one of my gray clay sculptures over his head.
ReplyDeleteWait, what happened to Toby wanting to look like she was cool and confident when talking to Ian? That drawing of her is anything but.
ReplyDeleteWow, these two morons deserve each other. Toby, not wanting to look like a needy wife, opens her mouth and she looks as needy as ever and Ian with his "Well, I thought she had feelings for me, but I guess I was wrong" comment sound like a pair of jerks. You know this will end with a hugathon.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile Jannie, as she smokes her knitting needle, contemplates on the foolish life choices she has made.
Ian: "No, Toby, you silly little drunk. I told you it was I that had feelings for her! Now, please tell me that's a nice piece of fish frying in the oil that's been sitting out in that dirty pot for the last two weeks!"
ReplyDeleteGeeze, Ian. You might as well have said, "I thought I was going to get her in the sack, but i guess I was wrong."
ReplyDelete@Delilah: I run a theater company here in NYC and perhaps we could do a reading of your screenplay in the summer? You can contact me at equitylibrarytheater@gmail.com. www.equitylibrarytheater.info is our site.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad they're finally opening up a dialogue. It's very important for married couples to open dialogues with each other from time to time. I certainly try to open a dialogue with my boyfriend on a regular basis.
ReplyDeleteNothing else to add to all o your insights. These two were made for each other. *eye roll*
AAAHAHAHAHA!! Ach, lassie, tha shal ne’er again be Cool and Confident in my eyes! XD
ReplyDeleteOMG, this fits the story (yawn) Barbra and Celine.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4p_3scB_8c