Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Mary Worth 3089

I just love taking tests

While Estelle is giving out answers to every possible security question, I’m going to take a little break to celebrate my parents’ birthdays. They both turned 80 this month so my siblings and I are all getting together with them. Have a wonderful week. 

By the way, they met in Sacramento. I hope I haven’t compromised my security by revealing that! 

37 comments:

  1. Wanders, have a happy celebration with your parents and siblings! I foresee many smiles and laughs, and much love all around. (I just hope you’re not gathering in Santa Royale.)

    “Very comfortable” is awfully subjective. Arthur should have taken my advice and asked Estelle her net worth, and to upload documentation. (And is everyone who lives at Charterstone “very comfortable” also? No one ever worries about paying bills and having affordable health care, so maybe so.)

    Is Arthur planning on answering these same questions, or is Estelle compiling her own questionnaire? If the latter, I predict questions about favorite Girl Scout cookie, favorite pizza topping, oil-packed versus water-packed tuna, favorite 1970s sitcom, etc.

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  2. I gotta admire Arthur's professionalism. Your run-of-the-mill hack grifter would have tried to play the mark well before now. But just like Paul Newman in The Sting, Artie Z is patiently playing the long con.

    -- Scottie McW.

    P.S. Enjoy, Wanders!

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  3. Wanders, perhaps, as a gift, your parents may like a one-eyed cat named Libby. After this mess, she may need a new home.

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  4. Have fun, Wanders. And I wouldn't worry too much about missing anything here. Estelle will likely have made it only to Question 10 or 11 by the time you get back. BTW - I have to say she's starting to look more like 80 than 60. She must be staying up too late at night, trying to think up good answers to these really tough questions. I think Moy should have it turn out that Arthur is the honest rube who gets taken in by the conniving Estelle. She did tell Mary that Jimmy was her "late" husband but maybe he was just her "latest" husband.

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    Replies
    1. All three of her husbands died of arsenic poisoning.

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    2. More likely they died of bran poisoning.

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  5. A very happy birthday to your parents, Wanders, and have a joyous family get-together. I doubt the plot will advance much in your absence. Arthur Z may not be content with “very comfortable” as an answer, and will probably ask for the last seven years of tax returns, as well as her credit report. (No score under 750 is acceptable.)

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  6. "What is your favorite hairstyle?"

    Why, the Farrah Fawcett, of course.

    Fawcett's hair quite possibly started the feathered-hair revolution when she was seen kicking butt on Charlie's Angels in the '70s. "People will forever talk about Farrah Fawcett s hair. It was so feminine and the layers were genius," says Hershberger.

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  7. Have a wonderful time wonders and all the best to Mr. and Mrs. Wanders Sr. Tell them if a man named Arthur asks them their financial situation tell them to say "poor as church mice". That'll get rid of him fast. Seriously, enjoy and safe travels.

    When I saw Libby this morning I thought she had her paw up and was laughing at Estelle and her blatant stupidity. Then I realized she was just licking her paw. I still want to think shes laughing at her while she's busy telling Prince Akeem of Zamunda all of her personal business. We should all guess what his question will be tomorrow. I think he'll intersperse innocuous questions between the "money grab" questions. Example: "Coke or Pepsi?" "What is your favorite color?" "What is your social security number?"

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  8. I think Arthur has become giddy over the ease of getting into Estelle's personal business, because I notice he has stopped taking the time to put his comments in quotes.

    Happy travels, Wanders.

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  9. Happy Birthdays to your parents Wanders. My husband and I will soon celebrate our 45th anniversary, and our son will marry on the day. We met in Sacramento too. (uh oh...)

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  10. THURSDAY

    Libby won't be smiling in a couple weeks when she is, ahem, not allowed in the bedroom on certain evenings. No, not smiling at all. There will be much caterwauling and pawing at the door. It's gonna be fun.

    But it shouldn't matter because Arthur loves falafel as much as Estelle does. Ha ha . . . yes indeed. (Who knew a discussion of falafel could sound so ominous?)

    -- S. McW.

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  11. Oh Estelle, you dumb bunny, you can’t base a relationship on falafel. I picture Arthur twirling his mustache as he laughs “ha ha!”

    Is Estelle going to ask Arthur to describe his financial situation? I expect his answer will be “increasingly very comfortable soon. Ha ha!”

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  12. S. McW Perhaps he's going to poison her tahini sauce once she signs over everything to him.

    Has there ever been a more banal conversation in the history of Worthverse? Arthur Z must be as dull as Estelle or just stringing her along over her love of Falafel with tahini sauce before moving in for the kill.

    I keep wishing that this was con man extraordinaire Ted Confey (The missing Adrian Corey's love who called her "Queenie"). He would have had that money already and would have gone to someplace where they don't have extradition. Arthur Z is wasting too much time.

    I'm a little disappointed, I was hoping to see Estelle endlessly responding to AZ's probing questions and see what his answers to his questions were.

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  13. Estelle's "boyfriend" is now hacking this blog!

    I got this email today:

    "Dear Customer,
    Your Apple ID was used to sign in to a new web browser.

    Date and Time: March 21, 2019
    Ip Address: 72.171.55.205
    Country Signapore <<<<<<---------!!!!!!!

    … go to iforgot.apple.com to unlock your account with your existing password..."

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  14. I’m not sure a mutual love of falafel is a good basis for a lasting relationship. After all, realprof didn’t care for either pizza or Chinese food, and I married him anyway.

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  15. I just love the smirk on Libby's face, listening to these stupid conversations.

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  16. If this relationship were going somewhere promising, we wouldn't be on the brink of the Falafel Zone. That is just never a good sign.

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  17. Which is worse, Tee Hee or Ha Ha?

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  18. FRIDAY
    Arthur's "poem" is a quotation from Margaret Atwood. Arthur must have the same Big Bag 'O Random Quotations that Karen Moy uses for the Sunday MW strip introductory panel. BTW, when I googled this, the first hit was to Goodreads, with the tags "love, obsession, sleep." We can add "larceny, scam" for Arthur, whose floating head today calls to mind a gray-haired Ken doll who's missing a nose.

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  19. Friday: This guy is the Joe Biden of plagiarizing poetry. Now he's stealing from the works of Margaret Atwood. If my husband had started spouting corny poetry to me when we were dating, I would have found a new boyfriend.

    We got a floating Arthur Z head today, along with corny prose. And a "SIGH".

    Estelle is a moron.

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  20. Thanks, KitKat, I knew either you or Nance would identify the quotation first. (I was confident that KM is incapable of writing poetry herself.)
    There’s something inherently creepy about Arthur’s courtship style that would set off red flags to anyone but Estelle, the dimmest of dim bulbs. You’re better off with just the cat, Estelle!

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  21. @fauxprof, this whole thing is creepy, Estelle dreaming of AZ's floating head, the poetry, Libby everywhere. And, to make matters worse, Estelle has not changed her sheets in weeks!

    Mary, where are you?

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  22. "[SIGH] Oh Arthur, tell me more!"

    "I'd like to be the macrophages that are essential to your immune system, unnoticed but necessary. I'd like to be the ependymal cells that produce your cerebrospinal fluid, unnoticed but necessary. I'd like to be the clotting factor . . . "

    "Oh Arthur, stop, I can take only so much bliss at once!"

    Sheesh.

    It's going to be great if he starts calling her "Mi Amor."

    -- S. McW.

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  23. He's quoting Margaret Atwood now, but that quote is actually creeping me out.

    The air inside of her? Like in her lungs? Eww.

    Estelle might be one of the dumber characters in this strip, which is really quite impressive.

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  24. By now Estelle's eyes should have rollen so far back into her head they can never be retrieved.

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  25. Welp, at least Arthur's fantasy is more family-friendly than the wishes Prince Charles expressed in his infamous love letters to Camilla.

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  26. Arthur Z: Darling, I wanna be the air in your lungs.

    Estelle: [vigorously exhales] Sigh!

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  27. Everytime Arthur Z recites his cornball poetry, I think of this Popeye cartoon where Popeye recites these immortal lines to Olive Oyl:

    "Roses is red, violets is blue, next to spinach, I love you!"

    "Your eyes are like stars, your lips are like cherries, your teeth is like poils, gee whiz, you're the berries."

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  28. Too funny, everyone! You are all the best. I love the medical references in Anonymous S McW's comments...I also notice that Arthur never actually says to Estelle that HE has written the "poetry" he recites, just that he "has" a poem for her. I'm guessing he doesn't do much research on who he's quoting either. If he ever read (or saw) "The Handmaid's Tale", I don't think he'd be quoting Margaret Atwood.

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  29. Oh Estelle, my lovely lass
    Thinking of you
    makes me want to pass gas

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  30. SATURDAY

    A misspelled name, a dirty table, a beer can, and that sinister “ha ha”. I would say the plot thickens, had it not already congealed.

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  31. Even if I was meeting Lin Manuel Miranda, I'd remember how to spell my own name.

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  32. PBR? Now we know for sure Arther is not the most interesting man in the world.

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  33. Meg: It is spring, though, so maybe it's Pabst bock beer, which is at least sort of interesting.

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  34. Arthur/Arther spells Estelle “E A S Y M A R K.”

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