Monday, April 1, 2019

Mary Worth 3096

This morning I felt a little ashamed of how attractive I thought these two elderly widows looked to me. I mean, I thought, they're total babes! Then I spotted the bottle of "Formula 6oo" in Mary's bag and I thought she must be using some magical anti-aging potion. But then I realized, no, I've been doing this since 2007 and although that seems like yesterday, I'm getting a lot older. Thanks, June Brigman, for keeping me feeling alive.

28 comments:

  1. Ah, the moral of the story is unveiled: There are no problems in a long distance relationship that can't be cured by wiring ten thousand dollars to your partner, no questions asked...

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  2. NOW Mary wants to get involved?! Much like the axiom "It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission" it's easier to screw up THEN have Mary intervene.

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  3. Whatever is in that bottle, it matches Mary’s top perfectly. Maybe it’s fabric dye.

    A normal person might respond to Estelle’s statement with “Oh?” or “What’s going on?” Not Mary, who’s shifted to full Meddling Pseudo-Therapist Mode. Tomorrow, Estelle will be stretched out on Mary’s sofa, trying to balance a cup of tea and a muffin.

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    1. Hehe, good observation about Mary’s top matching the bottle sticking out of her grocery bag. I vote for grape soda.

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  4. That seems to be purple dye. It worked so well on the blouse that she's been wearing throughout this entire storyline, that she's decided to dye all of her clothing that color. Makes a fashion statement.

    PS - Older and wiser, Wanders. People in the worthiverse don't appear to age. That's why they never get any wiser.

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  5. Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

    "Charterstone: Home Of The Dumbs".

    Hi, are? Arthur?
    ...And bad,
    Better helped!
    Talk?

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  6. I bet it will probably take more than $10K to deal with "overseas bureaucracy". Also, Arthur must not be very good at this con thing. If he has fleeced widows before, why isn't he living better? At the very least by this time he could afford to buy a shirt.

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  7. We need more details on how this transfer was transacted. And we need to know if the payment can be stopped.

    Get the dish, Mary -- all the sad, hilarious, moronic details.

    -- Scottie McW.

    BTW, if that thing poking out of the top of Mary's shopping bag is a two-liter bottle of some liquid, shouldn't it have been packed in the bottom of the bag? Did Tommy bag these groceries?


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    1. Once that wire transfer went through Estelle can kiss all that money goodbye. She will never get it back. And try calling Arthur? Number will be disconnected.

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  8. Good point, Scottie McW. The bottle should be at the bottom along with that can of diced tomatoes. She must have shopped at FOOD MART. Tommy would never pack a bag like that; didn't he tell Mary once that he "knew groceries" or something like that?

    Anyway, I know it's too much to hope for but after hearing about the money transfer I would so love to have Mary say: "You know, Estelle, I never thought you were the sharpest knife in the drawer but I didn't realize you were a complete moron!"

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  9. I was kind of thinking that the bank teller might be suspicious about an old lady wiring 10K to some random person. Nope.

    This conversation with Mary has the potential to be hilarious.

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  10. @Garnet at 9:51 a.m., Estelle banks at Bank Team, Santa Royale's least secure financial institution.

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  11. Thank GOODNESS; Mary's meddling is a welcome respite! Please, GET IN THERE MARY! This woman needs your sensible wisdom!

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  12. How appropriate that today is April Fool's Day. Perhaps Estelle is experiencing Early Onset Dementia. We'd all probably feel badly for her if it turns out to be the case. Or maybe not.

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  13. When I worked at a bank in grad school, we we're told to "be nosey" about suspicious transactions. And $10K would have people at the bank highly suspicious. Of course this was 35 years ago.

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  14. A suggestion for the Charterstone Jukebox: "He Needs Me" by Shelley Duvall.

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  15. Do you pay a fee to wire money? Is there some sort of trail that Mary can follow? A receipt? Anything?

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  16. Back to my bank experience, there is a fee and generally they want a name of recipient and bank with a bank routing number.

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  17. My sister, who grew up to be a banker confirms that 10,000 is the magic number that raises suspicions. And should have had Estelle running from the bank in tears from the seller's, branch manager,and maybe even bank president's third degree.

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  18. I'm going to add to this by repeating what I said early this morning:

    Estelle is a complete nincompoop. I see Mary didn't get to Estelle in time. Arther/Arthur has that money in his hot, dirty hands.

    I looked up how much money you can get before the bank reports it to the IRS and it's $10,000. However, I am confident that Arther/Arthur doesn't have a bank account. I don't even think he has a supermarket loyalty card, let alone a bank account. I wonder if he can cash this at the local Western Union where the wire transfer was sent.

    Speaking of transfers, I wonder where Arthur/Arther has Estelle send it, as he's supposedly in Malaysia. but it doesn't matter. Estelle is so besotted with her "beautiful man", she would have sent that wire transfer to Mars, if he had asked her.

    I wish I could slap the stupid out of Estelle. The only one I feel sorry for is Libby, who has to live with this moron.

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  19. I wired money regularly to our partners overseas, and was hoping we would see Estelle with the bank wire department...

    Banker: Where are you sending the wire?
    Estelle: Malaysia
    Banker: So we'll need to convert from dollars to ringgits.
    And it will also take three days to pass through the US and Malaysian systems.
    Estelle: Please hurry! My man needs my help!!!

    Banker: These wire instructions are for a bank in Ohio.
    Estelle: That's okay. My man can't access his own cash in Malaysia due to bureaucracy, but he will be able to access mine.

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  20. Mary's Meddle Sense must be tingling!

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  21. "Money from me? Yes, money from me, Mary. I had a lot left over from the malpractice claim I made against the plastic surgeon who gave me this horrifying face lift that makes me look like a living mummy."

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  22. Mary's look betrays her thoughts."This is the most stupid woman all very. How can I save Libby?"

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  23. if you ask me, i'd say this hooligan is a gone-bad Wilbur?

    i even photoshopped a comparison of the two side-by-side, but can't figure out how to post the image to this feed!

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    1. Do you have a blog or site? Post it there, then open the image in a new tab, and put the link on here.

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