"The Pina Colada Song" isn't quite "In Your Eyes," but it is about alcohol and cheating, so perhaps it is more appropriate than the Say Anything anthem.
What’s more disturbing: that Estelle seems to be wavering, or that Wilbur owns a boom box?
If I looked out my window and saw a dumpy guy with glowing eyes, wearing a raincoat and hoisting a boom box, I’d call the police immediately. Maybe an exorcist for good measure, too.
@KitKat, my feelings exactly. However, I think Wilbur is in his bathrobe and pajamas, which makes it even more creepy. Who even has a boombox anymore?
Please let someone call the cops on him and he spends a night (or two) in the drunk tank. Either that or they start throwing shoes at him, thinking he's a stray cat. If someone did this to me, I'd be at the police station.
I hope Estelle opens up the window and throws a flower pot on his head, like in the old Warner Brothers cartoons. But this is Estelle we're talking about, so she'll probably bring a soaking wet and (possibly drunk) Wilbur in for tea and sympathy. She should also tell him to see Dr. Sweatervest, because he's really cracking up. It never ceases to amaze me that this mess of a man writes an advice column.
Dear Wendy, The last time I wrote you, you suggested I add mayo sandwiches to my OLD profile to match with better men. Mayo Man seemed decent at first, but he ghosted me for three months and came back a sloppy drunk, obsessed with his ex-girlfriend. I politely told him I needed space, and now he stalks me. I think he even spies on me from the bushes. How do I tell this childish self-centered creep to stay away? Would he take $10,000 to move away? Piano Lady
Wow. Just when I thought this story line couldn't get more ridiculous. So they get back together based on their love of karaoke? Can we please have Mary show up with muffins and platitudes and get this story line over? Where is Mary anyway?
Yikes! Hopefully, the other residents will become annoyed at his cheesy music and will start throwing things at him. He does look kind of deranged, standing there in his bathrobe in the rain, holding a 1980's-style boom box. If I saw someone in that state, I'd assume they were on drugs or something. I hope Estelle doesn't fall for his nonsense. He needs to learn no means no.
Wilbur has gone full on Creepy stalker. I sure hope there's some serious pain in store for him. And there's a hand sprouting from the middle of Estelle's chest
Estelle has never seen the movie, doesn’t get the reference, and simply thinks Wilbur is drunk again. She may be right about that. But it’s okay, Old Man Wynter has called the cops, as well as the current head of the HOA.
The next song on Wilbur's boombox/jukebox is "Every Step you Take" by the Police. Let's see how this plays out. It might be a new song for the Charterstone Jukebox.
Wilbur has such great style! The best way to apologize to someone you have just started dating is a high pressure, full-court press. What's for tomorrow? Maybe he could beat a drum outside her door until she comes out, or block Estelle's car with his when she tries to drive out of the parking lot, or scream that he HATES Iris and only wants Estelle now . . . hard to predict when Wilbur goes loony toons.
So many wonderful comments, everyone! I can't believe that Wilbur is going full Lloyd Dobler. And Wanders, you are so right–the Pina Colada song is miles away from "In Your Eyes." I mean, that song is about someone cheating on his "lady" because he "was tired" of her. (Yes, I know the lyrics. I'm not proud of that.) But it really is a more appropriate song. As Wanders pointed out, it's about alcohol, and also I always thought the guy in that song sounded like a total jerk. Though I guess his lady wasn't much better.
If this doesn't work, the next night Wilbur will be out there with his boombox blaring, "There is someone...walking behind you...turn around, look at me." which I refer to as the Stalker Song.
Don't be shy! I'd love to hear what you have to say about Mary Worth. Just keep it clean, that's all I ask. This is a FAMILY FRIENDLY blog. I don't want to moderate comments, but I will if I have to.
I'd say it's about time for the restraining order.
ReplyDeleteWhat’s more disturbing: that Estelle seems to be wavering, or that Wilbur owns a boom box?
ReplyDeleteIf I looked out my window and saw a dumpy guy with glowing eyes, wearing a raincoat and hoisting a boom box, I’d call the police immediately. Maybe an exorcist for good measure, too.
@KitKat, my feelings exactly. However, I think Wilbur is in his bathrobe and pajamas, which makes it even more creepy. Who even has a boombox anymore?
ReplyDeletePlease let someone call the cops on him and he spends a night (or two) in the drunk tank. Either that or they start throwing shoes at him, thinking he's a stray cat. If someone did this to me, I'd be at the police station.
I hope Estelle opens up the window and throws a flower pot on his head, like in the old Warner Brothers cartoons. But this is Estelle we're talking about, so she'll probably bring a soaking wet and (possibly drunk) Wilbur in for tea and sympathy. She should also tell him to see Dr. Sweatervest, because he's really cracking up. It never ceases to amaze me that this mess of a man writes an advice column.
Wilbur is so creepy.
I also think Wilbur has become full blown Fatal Attraction. I'm waiting for Estelle to come home one day and find Libby being boiled in a pot.
ReplyDeleteDear Wendy,
ReplyDeleteThe last time I wrote you, you suggested I add mayo sandwiches to my OLD profile to match with better men. Mayo Man seemed decent at first, but he ghosted me for three months and came back a sloppy drunk, obsessed with his ex-girlfriend. I politely told him I needed space, and now he stalks me. I think he even spies on me from the bushes. How do I tell this childish self-centered creep to stay away? Would he take $10,000 to move away?
Piano Lady
ReplyDeleteHa ha haaa, Wilbur's soused again!
Estelle should yell out the window, "You have the wrong place. Iris lives three doors down!"
-- Scottie McW.
Wouldn't it be wonderful right now if Fabiana flew in to reconcile with "Mi Amore"?!
ReplyDeleteIs it too much to hope for, that the boombox is plugged into an extension cord?
ReplyDeleteHelenClark
As he wakes up the entire complex.
ReplyDeletePull the drapes, Estelle!! For God sake, pull the drapes!
ReplyDeleteWow. Just when I thought this story line couldn't get more ridiculous. So they get back together based on their love of karaoke? Can we please have Mary show up with muffins and platitudes and get this story line over? Where is Mary anyway?
ReplyDeleteYikes! Hopefully, the other residents will become annoyed at his cheesy music and will start throwing things at him. He does look kind of deranged, standing there in his bathrobe in the rain, holding a 1980's-style boom box. If I saw someone in that state, I'd assume they were on drugs or something. I hope Estelle doesn't fall for his nonsense. He needs to learn no means no.
ReplyDeleteAll we need now is for Wilbur to yell "You complete me!"
ReplyDeleteWilbur has gone full on Creepy stalker. I sure hope there's some serious pain in store for him.
ReplyDeleteAnd there's a hand sprouting from the middle of Estelle's chest
Estelle has never seen the movie, doesn’t get the reference, and simply thinks Wilbur is drunk again. She may be right about that. But it’s okay, Old Man Wynter has called the cops, as well as the current head of the HOA.
ReplyDeleteThe next song on Wilbur's boombox/jukebox is "Every Step you Take" by the Police. Let's see how this plays out. It might be a new song for the Charterstone Jukebox.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Chester the Dog... Wilbur's drunken serenade of that wing of Charterstone will definitely be at the top of next week's condo board meeting.
ReplyDeleteNow we know that Moy reads the Comics Curmudgeon (take a look at the title of yesterday's column).
ReplyDeleteCoincidence? I think not.
Wilbur has such great style! The best way to apologize to someone you have just started dating is a high pressure, full-court press. What's for tomorrow? Maybe he could beat a drum outside her door until she comes out, or block Estelle's car with his when she tries to drive out of the parking lot, or scream that he HATES Iris and only wants Estelle now . . . hard to predict when Wilbur goes loony toons.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteIf Wilbur starts playing The Beatles' "Run for Your Life," Estelle better buy a gun.
-- S. McW.
So many wonderful comments, everyone! I can't believe that Wilbur is going full Lloyd Dobler. And Wanders, you are so right–the Pina Colada song is miles away from "In Your Eyes." I mean, that song is about someone cheating on his "lady" because he "was tired" of her. (Yes, I know the lyrics. I'm not proud of that.) But it really is a more appropriate song. As Wanders pointed out, it's about alcohol, and also I always thought the guy in that song sounded like a total jerk. Though I guess his lady wasn't much better.
ReplyDeleteIf this doesn't work, the next night Wilbur will be out there with his boombox blaring, "There is someone...walking behind you...turn around, look at me." which I refer to as the Stalker Song.
As I recall, one of the lines in this song goes, "if you have half a brain..." Add up Wilbur's and Estelle's and I'm still not sure you'd get to 1/2.
ReplyDelete