"Yes, I did read your emails. That's what I want to talk to you about. Your writing is atrocious. Seriously, how did you ever get out of high school? You did graduate from high school, didn't you? You don't know the difference between plurals and possessives, your subject-verb agreement is grossly lacking, you've got misplaced modifiers all over the place, and don't get me started on your punctuation. I can't be with someone like that, Tommy. I just can't."
Why do I hear a big "But" coming from Brandy? "But your bringing up those harassing emails just reminded me why I have been feeling so uncomfortable about you." "But your describing yourself as 'addicted' to me still counts as being an addict." "But your sudden interest in being an anti-drug spokesperson in one of the most marijuana-rich states in the country somehow lands in a pretty hollow way." "But you're still Tommy Beedie and think proposing with an onion ring is the way to a girl's heart."
I feel like the long hair, the drug addiction, the muscles, the incessant use of "Babe" are meant to make Tommie "Needie" Beedie seem dangerous and therefore catnip to insecure women. But he really comes off as just pathetic. And Brandy does what all Worthiverse women do: She settles (and without even the personal intervention of St. Mary!). Sheesh.
Brigman and Moy, for all their silly aspects, don't seem to think Men with Long Hair are in need of an Intervention to cure them of a habit that is just a wee better than drug addiction itself, unlike so many commentators here or at the CKingdom site, so I'll salute them for that.
Don't be shy! I'd love to hear what you have to say about Mary Worth. Just keep it clean, that's all I ask. This is a FAMILY FRIENDLY blog. I don't want to moderate comments, but I will if I have to.
ReplyDelete"Yes, I did read your emails. That's what I want to talk to you about. Your writing is atrocious. Seriously, how did you ever get out of high school? You did graduate from high school, didn't you? You don't know the difference between plurals and possessives, your subject-verb agreement is grossly lacking, you've got misplaced modifiers all over the place, and don't get me started on your punctuation. I can't be with someone like that, Tommy. I just can't."
"But Babe, that's all? 'Cuz I don't write good?"
"Good-bye, Tommy."
-- Scottie McW.
Tommy, you just couldn't quit while you were ahead, coukd you? All right, you asked for everything in Scottie McW.'s blast above.
ReplyDeleteBrandy: Oh, and have you ever, ever once even thought about a collar?
ReplyDeleteTommy: Umm... yeah; been there; done that.
HelenClark
Tommy, please don't start calling her Babe again. And if you want a sales career. you will have to cut your hair and wear a collar.
ReplyDeleteSo does Tommy go upscale and propose with a fried calamari ring instead of an onion ring?
ReplyDeleteWhy do I hear a big "But" coming from Brandy? "But your bringing up those harassing emails just reminded me why I have been feeling so uncomfortable about you." "But your describing yourself as 'addicted' to me still counts as being an addict." "But your sudden interest in being an anti-drug spokesperson in one of the most marijuana-rich states in the country somehow lands in a pretty hollow way." "But you're still Tommy Beedie and think proposing with an onion ring is the way to a girl's heart."
ReplyDeleteI feel like the long hair, the drug addiction, the muscles, the incessant use of "Babe" are meant to make Tommie "Needie" Beedie seem dangerous and therefore catnip to insecure women. But he really comes off as just pathetic. And Brandy does what all Worthiverse women do: She settles (and without even the personal intervention of St. Mary!). Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteToday's (late but still vastly disinterested) Boldface Haiku is titled
ReplyDelete"Are You There, Babe? It's Me, Tommy".
Swear! Believe me!
Watching...
Like. Believe.
Thank God! Emails?
LouiseF, I think she's going to say "But your milquetoast display-building finally made me realize I prefer bad boys, so I'm hooking up with Vin now".
ReplyDeleteBrigman and Moy, for all their silly aspects, don't seem to think Men with Long Hair are in need of an Intervention to cure them of a habit that is just a wee better than drug addiction itself, unlike so many commentators here or at the CKingdom site, so I'll salute them for that.
ReplyDeletecorrection: wee bit better
ReplyDelete