"But
I think a man should linger in loneliness, weeping quietly over what could have been. Oh, Mary, how I miss her. One time, she and my Ex started a fight where I work, and they both ended up punching me in the face. And, oh, the way Ashlee would say things like !@#$% and %$#@! in public. She was so honest, so unfiltered. She made me feel like I didn't even
need my Rolex to prove my worth to the impoverished patients at The People's Clinic."
“Romantic fallouts”? That’s a new Moyism.
ReplyDeleteJeff not understanding affairs of the heart casts light on his tepid relationship with Mary, his old familiar. Sunset cruise on boat, dinner at Bum Boat, rinse and repeat….
“Drew, I’m sorry about you and Ashlee, even though she dressed like a streetwalker and seemed to be out of her *&#@ing mind when I saw her screaming at you in the hospital.”
ReplyDelete"Ha ha, get it? Cardiovascular? Affairs of the heart? Hee hee hee, I crack me up!"
But then Drew suddenly turns and embraces Mary and sobs into her shoulder. "Oh Ashlee, how could you leave me?"
Mary becomes flustered. "Oh dear. Oh dear me. Uh, Drew, what if someone sees us? Pull yourself together, man!" [forehand and backhand slaps]
"Oh Mary, that's just the way Ashlee used to slap me!"
-- Scottie McW.
Drew needs to know that Ashlee was a liar and a thief. Maybe that will help him get over her. I can't wait for this storyline to be over.
ReplyDeleteI'm digging Drew's velcro closure shirt. Didn't peg him as the International Male type, but Ashlee was clearly more of an influence than we knew.
ReplyDeleteLooks like Jeff had better get his groundskeeper working on the tufts of grass sprouting through his stone paths and along the koi pond. I'm guessing either the pesticide he used didn't work on the weeds or seeped into the pond, creating transparent fish.
ReplyDeleteSo, KM, we are to believe that Drew, nearly 40 years old, will welcome the chance to discuss his "romantic fallouts" with a 120 year old crone? Right.
ReplyDelete"Mary Worth - The Soap Opera" - the part of Drew will be played by Tilda Swinton.
HelenClark
Drew’s hair is really poofy today. He’s sporting a Bert Convy ‘do.
ReplyDelete