Wilbur must secrete some sort of strange pheromone that warns women he's single. I mean this woman wouldn't just assume someone is single, would she? She's more professional than that, isn't she? And then her response to his unthreatening moment of hope, assuming he is somehow hitting on her? I don't think I like her very much. No wonder she gets along with dogs so well.
If this woman is working at an animal shelter for the money, she’s barking up the wrong tree (okay, sorry! I couldn’t resist.).
ReplyDeleteIt’s a safe bet to assume that Wilbur is single. His Wilburness is on display for anyone he encounters. BTW, he might try to take more than one dog to expand on his chick magnetism.
Reality check: no reputable shelter would pull out prospective dogs without the person filling out lengthy forms with all kinds of information.
An emerald is a chick magnet too, as Weelbur should know by now.
DeleteOf course, the mountains of Charterstone may live by different rules than Bogota Beach.
Dog Shelter Lady, please introduce Weelbur to a pit bull of uncertain temper. Pleeeeeeeease.
ReplyDeleteHmmm... from the female perspective, I think Wilbur's creepy/needy/hapless flirtiness would set off automatic shudders of revulsion in almost any woman (Estelle excepted I guess at some point... & Dawn's mother - whatever became of her, anyway?). At a more conscious level, I'd ask myself why is he going there... and have to suppress the shudders.
ReplyDeleteI love the look on French bulldog's face: I know I said I was dying to be adopted, but I didn't know what I was talking about. I take it all back.
ReplyDeleteHa haaaa, "UGH" is right!
On another note, if a dog likes attention, it seems probable that a single person would be the least likely to provide it, since there's no one else around when he leaves his apartment (let's not flatter this joint by calling them condominiums).
On the other hand, this tub of goo has no friends to hang out with, so he probably doesn't leave much.
-- Scottie McW.
Since dogs are frequently said to resemble their owners, I think the dog with the Libby-style monocle might be Wil’s best bet.
ReplyDeleteHe’s winking at her! The grotesque little combed-over lard tub is winking at her! An unvocalized “ugh” is a very mild reaction to that kind of creepiness.
ReplyDeletePoor little orphan French Bulldog. You don’t deserve this!
Maybe Animal Shelter Woman will tell her husband/boyfriend about this, and he'll come over and pound Wilbur. That would be nice.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't Wilbur have his Survivor Stories column where he travels to such places as the beaches of Bogota? I was hoping that Wilbur had put Estelle down as a reference, but apparently Animal Shelter will let any schlub take a dog home.
ReplyDeleteFrenchies are adorable, but have a tendency to pass gas. Is that where this story is headed?
ReplyDeleteLet's look ahead to Wilbur's first excursion to the park with his new dog.
He plops his carcass down on a bench and smugly waits for the chicks to flock to him. After three hours, none is. Instead, every female passerby quickens her pace and avoids eye contact.
An irate Wilbur takes his dog back to the shelter. "I thought these things were supposed to be chick magnets!" he screams. He leaves the dog and storms out.
The dog watches him leave and thinks, "Whew, that was close!"
-- S. McW.
There will probably be 50 entries for the Worthy awards "Panel of the Year" in 2021. Winking Wilbur should win the anti-panel of the year.
ReplyDeletePoor little French Bulldog. Those are actually rather expensive dogs...I'm sure they sometimes show up at shelters, but I don't think that would happen too often.
ReplyDeleteWilbur looks like he's having a stroke.
@Garnet, I was under the same impression, that purebred French Bulldogs are pricey animals. Turns out the average price in California is $2900! And there are active rescue organizations, so it’s unlikely one would land in a shelter. But, hey, maybe June just decided that would be a fun dog to draw.
ReplyDeleteI love that even the dog is rolling its eyes at Wilber's comment. I like this dog.
ReplyDeleteSince it's a French bulldog, perhaps it doesn't understand what Wilbur and Ms. Animal Shelter are saying. "Mon dieu, s'il vous plait, la delivrance de ce bete!" Also, this dog looks to be possibly a French beret wearer, which could really do wonders for Wilbur also.
ReplyDeleteWilbur is channeling Libby with his eyes
ReplyDeleteWilbur was always insufferable, but he's become quite the priggish little turd. Estelle, while drawn to be a beautiful older woman, obviously isn't that bright. I bet he does not leave the shelter with a dog--but may leave with a spurting knife wound to his eye.
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine was on the verge of adopting a rescue dog when it suddenly opened its jaws and clamped onto her face. Required a fair amount of medical care. With any luck that dog is in this shelter, sending out major chick magnet vibes.
ReplyDeleteScottie, you are right. Usually it's a sad story when an adopted animal is returned to a shelter, but in your scenario, it would be nothing but a sigh of relief for the dog being returned.
ReplyDeleteI am somewhat familiar with the city-run kennel in Cleveland and its affiliated City Dogs Cleveland program. If you look at the pics of the adoptable dogs, you will see many adorable smiles, but not a single French bulldog.
ReplyDeleteI thought this would be a good place to call out the good work of City Dogs.
Hey, we've finally got a character who immediately takes Wilbur's measure and responds appropriately. #TeamAnimalShelterWoman all the way!
ReplyDelete(Also, as a single person, I refuse to have Wilbur representing me. At all. Ever. In any way.)
In other news, this has all been part of the massive ongoing Dogs Are Good storyline all along? Mad respect for managing to make their dullest story ever their longest-running story ever.
ReplyDelete@Vince --
Wow, I adopted a stray mutt at the pound on Willey Ave. back in the '80s (no paperwork required), and he was the greatest dog/pet/friend anyone could hope for. He was as friendly as can be, and everybody loved him.
I cherish the photo I have of him licking the face of my fiance (now wife) when he jumped up on the couch to kiss her.
I named him Oscar because that was the name of my Mom's lovable mutt when she was a girl.
I still donate to the Cleveland APL every year.
-- S. McW.