I long for the days when there were characters I loved to hate, instead of just characters I hate.
Also, here's a link to an "old familiar" for those who read yesterday's strip.
I long for the days when there were characters I loved to hate, instead of just characters I hate.
Also, here's a link to an "old familiar" for those who read yesterday's strip.
A cruise? The last cruise Wilbur went on turned out to be the Costa Concordia! It churns my stomach to think they will NOT have separate staterooms.
ReplyDeleteI know how this is going to go. Entertainer Esme is going to try to seduce Estelle with the power of cigarettes. And let's hope Entertainer Esme decides to seduce Fabiana, Carol, Iris, and, just for the sake of it, Dawn. Even if none of them swing that way cause screw Wilbur.
ReplyDeleteToo bad it's not a 3-hour cruise. Imagine the hijinks when Wilbur puts the moves on Ginger or Mary Ann and a jealous Estelle pushes him overboard.
ReplyDeleteRight, Wanders...nothing has changed, the sin of storytelling.
ReplyDeleteThe full moon rises over the Arabian Sea. To left, the coast of Africa is a dark line between the sea and the stars.
ReplyDeleteThe ship is a cluster of brilliant lights, red and silver, green and yellow. It's as though someone has taken a handful of stars from the sky and flung it on the water, to sail along, part of heaven on the sea.
Weelbur and Eshtelle have no eyes for the beauty of the scene. They're on the afterdeck, leaning on the rail and listening to Entertainer Esme trill at the microphone.
"Her song makes me want to sing too," Weelbur says.
Eshtelle's fingers dance over his combover. "I wonder what's going on in Charterstone now," she muses. "Do you suppose Mr Allora has yet taken that holiday to visit his cousin in Sinaloa he's always talking about? His cousin is a big businessman, you know. He's an exporter of agricultural products."
Weelbur isn't listening. "Let's not go home," he bawls, "we'll take the next train
I have enough money to pay our way. When the postman calls, he'll deliver a letter
I've explained everything, it's better this way.
Two divided by
Two divided by
Zero
Zero
Zero."
All of a sudden there's an interruption. From somewhere in the darkness beyond the railing there's the sound of racing speedboat engines, and moments later grapnels fired by compressed air launchers fly over the side and dig into the deck and the rails. Before anyone can react, young Somali men in tattered khaki shirts and shorts swarm over the side and are pointing AK 47s at Weelbur and Eshtelle.
DeleteWeelbur's mouth opens and closes like Willa and Stellan.
"What's this?" Eshtelle says. "Look, black people! I've never seen black people before!"
One of the Somalis points at Weelbur. "Bal u fiirso slob buuran halkan!" he says. "Haddii aynaan madax furasho u heli waynay, waxaanu u googooyn karnaa cunto xoolo ah."
"What?" Eshtelle asks. "Can you tell me in English, please?"
Another Somali climbs over the side. He's obviously the commander, and the others make way for him. "He said," he translates, "Look at that fat slob over here! If we can't get a ransom for him we can chop him up for livestock food." He grins and winks. "Unfortunately we don't have any livestock around. So we'll just have to eat him."
Weelbur falls in a dead faint, his weight causing the deck to cave under him. The ship goes down like a rock. The pirates and crew join together to save everyone, except Weelbur.
What happens to Weelbur?
He shouldn't be alive. And he isn't!
Hey Wilbur, what about Fric and Frac, your fish? Have you forgotten them, or will you suggest to Mary that she feed them to Libby?
ReplyDeleteI bet Mary will be pleased as Splak punch to have Wilbur push her into pet sitting. I can hardly wait to see her wrestle Libby into that sweater and gambol on a Charterstone path multiple times a day with Libby and Pierre. Mr. Alora better stand by for pet walking and cleanup duty. On the plus side, cat hair on Mary’s clothes will keep Jeff at a distance (A-CHOO!).
“What? You said you wanted a pet sitter. I got you a pet sitter. How should I know you didn’t mean someone who would literally sit on the pets?”
DeleteGood God Estelle, this was the one situation where stunned silence would be absolutely appropriate and you blew it! (Although if we do get to meet Entertainer Esme again, all will be forgiven).
ReplyDeleteWho uses the phrase "the old familiar" unless they're attending the Salem Witch Trials?
ReplyDeleteMary: I'd be happy to pet-sit. Pets just love my recipe for salmon squares. I call it Bella Gone-a.
ReplyDeleteI had to look up 3-day cruises in California, and it turns out that leaving from Los Angeles or Long Beach there are quite a few. But they all cruise fairly near the coastline, so I think the Comics Curmudgeon is mistaken about Estelle being able to get away with pushing Wilbutt overboard.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteIf Mary had known that her meddling was going to result in premarital sex, she would never have done it. She can barely condone marital sex.
-- Scottie McW.
Sex? What's sex?
DeleteLibby looks like she's completely zonked and Pierre might actually be a vampire dog. Mary will have so much fun looking after these two.
ReplyDelete