Sunday, April 26, 2009

Mary Worth 485

SPOILER ALERT!

YES! YES! YES! Those cops DO have a steering wheel in the back seat of their car. It is the latest gadget in criminal justice technology. This way, the criminals think you're driving away when you're actually chasing them. Which is ultimately what did Ted in. But I'm getting ahead of myself...

It's been a crazy week in Santa Royale, California. Adrian arrived in the seedy, dark side of town just in time to find her fiance running off with his car tucked under his arm. His excuse? His sister needed him right away.

When luring the big con, you want to pick a sucker who is clueless enough to take the bait, but not so clueless that she pulls you out of the boat and into the lake. Even now, Adrian can't fathom why Ted could possibly be getting out of town as fast as possible.

Ultimately, it is her final pleading face touch that delays Ted's departure just long enough for two of Santa Royale's Finest to show up with their really cool lapel badges and read Ted's rap sheet in public. "Hey, listen everybody! Dr. Corey is dating a bigamist!"

Not only is he a liar, a thief and a bigamist, but he's also a DEAD BEAT DAD!

Take him away, boys!

63 comments:

  1. Those "FBI agents" are in cahoots with Ted/Edward. They showed up just in time to spirit him away from Queenie.

    Wouldn't you do the same if it were your sister?

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  2. But -- but -- I'm so confused!!

    The storyline ends so abruptly with no meddling from Mary?? How can this be??

    While Mary was busy in the rose garden, did she telepathically transfer her meddling powers to Jeff??

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  3. Maybe Moy is scaling back Mary's role to make the strip more appealing to a younger generation. Perhaps we'll get a Cousin Oliver soon!

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  4. Perhaps the next storyline will feature the arrival of a younger, distant cousin of Mary who goes by the name "Aunt Sassy!" She'll deal with the young problems of Dawn and the cool hipsters who'll be moving into Charterstone with flip catch phrases like, "Talk to the hand!" and "That ain't my problem!"

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  5. Chester now rather than laterApril 26, 2009 at 11:05 PM

    oooh, a fast ending to this dull tale...but what was on the 2 meg hard drive of Teds laptop? I hope he closed his Compuserve account in time...and I bet we'll see Adrien in Marys rose garden in a few days where she tells Adrian "some roses have thorns..."

    To wonder about...WHO is Lydia?

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  6. Poor Adrian.

    Where will she find another man who can pull off wearing sans-a-belt pants with such flair?

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  7. Maybe when Mary snipped the roses, she also snipped away the lives of Ted and Adrian, ahhh, earth day at its best.

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  8. And the message is...never pee in the kitchen of the Golden Corridor.

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  9. Meanwhile Toby wipes grout from her newly tiled kitchen floor, as Ian views Scotland for the 100th time.

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  10. I am just glad that Adrian was able to get plenty of touching in during this last installment.

    Ted's face, her purse, her face, her shoulder, the car window. Lots and lots of touching.

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  11. Adrian recovers, touching the face of the blond detective, who calls her "Doc."

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  12. Oh the relief! Ted was a conman after all. Now I no longer need to ponder the horrors of a world where somebody loves Adrian.

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  13. Way back a couple of months ago, when Ted Confey made his appearance in Santa Royale, did anyone predict the bigamy angle? I mean, we all figured he was conning dimwit Adrian--the thin mustache was a dead giveaway. I think most of us figured he just preyed on gullible, single, professional women. Even the "sister" angle went largely uncommented upon. Oh, I can't wait for the denouement of this storyline.

    I'm just about to reassess my judgment on Karen Moy and upgrade her from a no-talent hack writer to a no-talent writer, just for throwing in some nice juicy detail that we collectively didn't foresee.

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  14. "Queenie" was the name of the elephant in the WC Fields flick "Never Give a Sucker and Even Break". I guess that's where Ted/Ed got his inspiration. It's great to see that the kids these days still appreciate the classics.

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  15. "Never Give a Sucker AN Even Break" - I feel as stupid as Queenie!

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  16. In today's strip, Adrian is tentatively holding up her ring finger for the FBI agent's closer inspection. Which leads me to imagine tomorrow's strip: "Ma'm, I believe that engagement ring is the missing ring from astronaut Laurel Clark. NASA's been looking real hard for this. I'll have to take it as evidence."

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  17. I still lie awake sharing pandagrandma's concern about Mary's diminished role in this episode. One concern I have is that she (that is, Mary) may have lost her instinctive awareness when she is in the presence of evil.

    Perhaps she will step in to counsel Adrian about being so gullible, or maybe Ted/Edward as he struggles to turn his life around (albeit from within the hoosegow).

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  18. According to Wikipedia on the original Saunders and Ernst strip, "Mary generally made only brief appearances to react and give her matronly advice. Only in recent decades has the strip centered more on her..."

    I'm actually relieved not to have seen Mary show up with the FBI. Although her appearance may have distracted from the unconventional avocado and apricot toned suits, it may have ruined an otherwise plausible story-line.

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  19. Anyone bothered by Adrian possessing two thumbs on her left hand? That would explain her lack of surgical skills.

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  20. I have to admit to feeling pretty stupid, as I thought the non-Masters winning cop was in fact Jeff, who had gone to the police to shop Ted after Adrian had ignored his warnings. It was only today when I realised he was someone different. In my defence they do look identical.

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  21. I have to admit that the 'steering wheel in the back seat' was my favorite event of the past four days

    ....oh, and I can
    overlook the significance of the "that shove deserves this slap" moment... I mean, that's so much action in so few panels!

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  22. That should have been:
    "I can't overlook....

    (My proofreader is taking a few days off)

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  23. A couple of thoughts: I notice the handsome young cop in the golden suit (read: knight in shining armor!) is not wearing a wedding band. If unattached, could HE and Adrian begin dating? I mean, really..she should NOT go back to that SR city fan website to troll for men! Nor should she hang out in bars with say, Dawn Weston.

    And...who WAS Ted saying "I love you" to on the phone at Golden Corridor? Was it his child? His wife? Sister? his bookie? Oh, I wish we knew. Mary sure let us down on that one!

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  24. Toonhead,
    Now that you've pointed it out, I AM bothered by Adrian's two-thumbed hand!
    And, I think, so is Tedward. "Get your two-thumbed hand off of my neck, you freak."

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  25. It's the missing steering wheel from Adrian's car! Collected weeks ago by the FBI during their investigation, and still in the back of their car.

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  26. Well, just when we ALMOST believed Ted was on the up and up,he gets busted by the Feds. LOL.
    It would have been better for Ted if the FBI agents had been in cahoots with him. Because now Queenie can still keep in 'touch' with him when he gets to prison. Then she will have a 'captive' audience. lol.

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  27. After much contemplation I realized that Mary HAS been part of this story line all along. Within the last few years she has mastered control over her "boyfriend" to the point that she merely needs to say what appears to be speculations to the untrained ear. In reality they are orders for Dr. Corey to carry out.
    When she mentioned to Dr. Corey, "I accidentally stumbled upon ted," what she is really saying is, "do not trust him, he is a con artist!"
    I submit that Mary has finally grown bored of direct meddling, and is now becoming the master of mind control meddling... most likely to free up time to help Toby finally get her kitchen floor re-tiled.

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  28. God, Adrian, get a grip! Beyond pathetic. I don't think the policeman needs to SEE your engagement ring to know what engaged means. Sheesh!! This woman graduated medical school?

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  29. Chester back on the roadApril 27, 2009 at 11:01 PM

    I am deactiviating my account at the Santa Royale Fan Club Site, for fear that the past 3 months will happen to me.

    Off to New Country Road for new dull predictable adventures...

    The person I feel so badly for? Waiter McSnooty! All those restaurants to work at, and not enough time or money to move in to Charterstone. He;ll just have to touch his face...oh family friendly, I forgot.

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  30. Vicki, Could you have seen a new romantic twist for Adrian? You said, "I notice the handsome young cop in the golden suit (read: knight in shining armor!) is not wearing a wedding band. If unattached, could HE and Adrian begin dating?"

    The golden-haired guy in the golden-toned suit is getting better looking by the day! If the two of them really are sitting in an actual FBI office, and if that certificate on the wall didn't come with the frame, this guy could rescue our gullible gal.

    And then, maybe some day, he'll suggest she try his brand of hair product.

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  31. Haha, duckduckgoose, yeah I was pretty much JOKING about the golden-haired cop hooking up with Adrian, but who knows...? I mean, SOMEONE needs to rescue this poor girl! What opportunities, (besides that dreadful SR fan website!), ARE there for a successful young lady doctor to meet a fine eligible gent? Dawn Weston is the strip's official "Loser-in-all-things-Love-related-ain't got-nothin'" character. We can't have TWO losers after all! Especially since Adrian is one of the moneyed, "Beautiful People" of SR, and such a smart and caring doctor and all that.

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  32. Let the record show that I was the first to suggest a romance between Dopey Doc and Blond Cop.

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  33. Did anyone notice the phenomenon that occurred when Queenie slapped Ted with her magical two-thumbed hand?

    The wide stripe fell off of the top of her cardigan! Amazing!!

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  34. Adrian and the detective are in his office now. If we see his nameplate on the desk and it turns out his name is "Detective (W)Right," then we'll know how this turns out!

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  35. Adrian didn't see any red flags? Could that possibly be because SHE is a red flag? Detective Right needs to beware of Queenie.

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  36. @tuffenuf - I had hoped that Queenie's magic-handed slap would magically change her outfit - into something tasteful perhaps.

    Unfortunately it did not work, or did not appear to, but I am starting to think that there may be a delayed reaction. I have noticed that Adrian's purse, that she clutches with such quiet desperation, has changed colour. Maybe there is hope after all for the rest of her ensemble.

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  37. My bad. I must apologise. I have been sneezing all evening and it appears I have accidently blown my brains out my ears - or my powers of observaton at the very least.

    I must correct myself. The "magic slap" administered by Adrian has caused not only her purse to change colour, but also her entire outfit. Now it is less confronting visually, which is perhaps why I did not notice this difference immediately.

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  38. Numbat,
    Yes, Adrian's clothing changes are indeed quicker than the eye!

    On the way to confront Ted (Ed), Adrian also changed the color of her top from coral (or whatever that is!) to black.

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  39. Numbat, Pandagrandma... The wide stripe is back, but the water cooler seems to have disappeared.

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  40. Well, THAT'S a small relief. Tedward didn't fall in love with Adrian because she reminded him of Vickie, his more-than-a-SISTER. Ted fell in love with Adrian because she reminded him Vicki, his more-than-a-WIFE.

    So, if all of Ted's lies are actually twisted truths, what can we assume about his dead wife, Lydia? Is she his late wife or is she a wife that always runs late?

    Sorry, BaHa, you called it first. But I can't imagine our golden hero calling Adrian Doc. As an investigator, he of all people must be aware that Adrian doesn't actually practice medicine. And I'm having a tough time imagining that he'll be attracted to her after she's left this second box of tissues, wrinkled and moistened, lying on his desk.

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  41. Duckduck, you're right. That crumpled tissue is icky and, who would actually do that? Question for those of us who carry purses: Wouldn't you put it on the floor or, if paranoid (in a police station?), in your lap?
    Robert, you secret Foobster, you! Recall, however that, in the end, Wright was not Right!

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  42. Re 4/28. In the last panel, is the police fellow offering Adrian a tissue of lies?

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  43. About Adrian's purse: It bothers me. Even at the height of Adrian's disheartenment and despair, even as it must seem to her that she cannot trust a single soul, while her body is curled protectively into itself, her PURSE, her money, is out in the open again.

    For awhile, it (the purse) was looking stern and rigid, tucking itself under Adrian's arm as she confronted its offender. But as Ted was carried off, the purse transformed, diminishing and slackening in both color and shape. Not only is it out in the open, away from Adrian's grip, but yesterday, it was precariously perched on the EDGE of the desk.

    I can only assume that Adrian's purse is anticipating the next hustle. Perhaps its aim is to be unwittingly tossed, along with any used tissues, into the relative safety of an FBI office waste can.

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  44. That tissue on the desk is pretty gross, lets add public hygene to the list of things Adrain is not too good at.

    I bet she does not sterilize her surgical equipment, if she even uses any. I seem to recall Jeff missing a few pieces of silverware from the kitchen.

    I so wanted the conversation to be:

    ADRIAN: "...he has a sister named VICKI."

    ROBERT REDFORD COP: "...no, he has a sister named...VICKY!"

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  45. Vicki (the real one)April 29, 2009 at 8:29 PM

    I seriously doubt many cops have such uncluttered, gleaming desktops with tidy little letter trays like that! And what cop worth his salt wouldn't have a couple of nasty, crud encrusted coffee cups, or a dirty ashtray laying about? No, I think this golden boy has a germ phobia, and he's going to FREAK OUT over that tissue!! (Perhaps our next storyline will be Moy teaching us how to protect ourselves from a pandemic flu)

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  46. I guess it is now LAW AND ORDER (BA DUM) SANTA ROYALE!

    Mary will be played by Angela Lansbury and Adrian will be played by, ok, well no one would want to play her. I guess Nathan Lane will run thru as Jeff, as well.

    Can someone call the girl from SWING OUT SISTER??? She'll make union scale.

    OK in case you are wondering, Debby Boone fan and Chester the Dog are the same (I just love posting)

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  47. I am sure the Robert Redford cop has a bottle of Windex in his drawer, wo wipe off any smudge marks.

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  48. So [T]Ed's dead wife Lydia wasn't dead which means that strange Swiss Army communication contraption wasn't really a spirit phone. Another mystery solved.

    Though I must admit that I was quite touched by today's panel - Thursday - where Adrian, in an unconscious and futile attempt to recall those happier times, touches her own face again and again. But it will never be the same...

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  49. I think the clean cop's desk is just the next phase in this complex scam. Next thing you know, there will be a chase scene through the underground Metro of Santa Royale, capped off with a gun fight at the collonade and someone falling through a trap door of the Santa Royale Community Theater stage.

    "Charade," anyone?

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  50. That last one was mine. Gotta take credit where it's due.

    --wheelhead

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  51. I imagine the real queenie, Queenie Gomez, looking like Morticia Addams with pale skin, long, black hair, (like Adrian's hair, only longer) and clad in a skin-tight black gown. From there, it isn't a reach to imagine Ted in the Addams Family, struggling to pay the child support for Pugsley.

    Since leaving the mansion, Ted has been lost. He tries to conform to conventional society, marrying women with names like Vicki Smithson and Lydia Brown, but he'll never replace the passionate life he had with Queenie, so he moves on.

    And to complicate matters, he keeps Uncle Arnie on as his money manager.

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  52. Tedward did not fall in love with Adrian. He attempted to scam her because she is as dull as lint. She will also refuse to date blondie unless he agrees to call her his Queenie.

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  53. This is so exciting--The name "Queenie Gomez" sounds supremely exotic... perhaps even Hispanic? Oh, how we Mary Worth readers would love to meet her!

    And our "Robert Redford" blonde cop seems to be acquiring new items on his spotless desk! Apparently someone has brought him a second tier for his letter tray along with a book and some important-looking papers! (Still no coffee cup, sadly) I'm just getting dizzy from this fast pace!

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  54. "I don't feel lucky. I actually feel sick."

    Join the freakin' club, Adrian!

    --wheelhead

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  55. Adrian feels sick? Quick, rush her off to Mountview hospital where a she will be ignored by the sntire staff.

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  56. He's been working on number 5? So... that's why Mary's been out of the picture lately; she's been chatting online with a lovely gentleman named... Ward Viceco!

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  57. Two observations--I see pink books in the cop's bookcase, so this can't be happening in SR, where all books are required to be gray.

    Also, the cops finger is marking a place in that very thick book. Is that thing Ted's rap sheet!!?? Wow!!! He must have started his life of crime at age ten!

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  58. That glass top desk that the Robert Redford cop has is really something. I wonder if he slips photographs of himself under the the glass so they can gaze dreamily at each other.

    I'll bet a glass of Tang that he is not married, either, and has a car with an extra steering wheel.

    True love will prevail!

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  59. His name is Detective Hewlett? There aren't any thinly-veiled allusions in that name! (Unless his actual first name is 'Detective.')

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  60. I beg to differ, Robert. Hewlett is a name full of allusions.

    The words let: to allow, and hew: to conform or adhere. To allow others to conform or adhere TO THE LAW!

    Yes, this guy is a good guy, through and through. I'm just hoping the kids get his hair.

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  61. The all-important question remains, however: does Detective Hewlett love coffee? Lot and lots of coffee?

    By the way...Dr. Adrian has rec'd a memo from Mountview Hospital as follows: "This is a friendly reminder that you have not made rounds for quite some time. Some of your patients have died. Your attention to this urgent matter is greatly appreciated. Thank you"

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  62. Det. Green Jacket looks like a guy that doesn't appreciate tissue boxes with flowers on them.

    I was trying to see if I recognize anyone on the "Wanted" poster on that back wall. For a brief moment I thought I saw Wilbur on the top row, but upon closer inspection decided it wasn't him and was quite relieved.

    Ewww, yer right-- Our Golden Boy "Scott" DOES look like Dad Corey with blond hair! That Adrian is one twisted sister.

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  63. Several of you seem to be puzzled by a storyline that cleared itself up without Mary's meddling and intervention. What you may not know is that Mary re-negotiated her contract in March and will now only be appearing in eight to ten panels per month. The slack will be picked up by other cast members. Mary is looking forward to spending more time with family, writing her memoirs, dining at the BumBoat and motorcycling across Canada.

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Don't be shy! I'd love to hear what you have to say about Mary Worth. Just keep it clean, that's all I ask. This is a FAMILY FRIENDLY blog. I don't want to moderate comments, but I will if I have to.