No, Wilbur, those are your pants. Kurt was a person. The DNA test proved that. You and Kurt were very close, but that's no reason to confuse him with your pants.Today's Full Strip
No, Wilbur, those are your pants. Kurt was a person. The DNA test proved that. You and Kurt were very close, but that's no reason to confuse him with your pants.
Kurt certainly left a tidy bedroom behind. Same old Mary Worth-bed, with the tightly pulled covers.
ReplyDeleteHopefully Wilbur and Dawn will check the house for missing valuables. But they'll probably just find a note from Kurt, saying he was feeling "uncommonly movable" or some such thing, and he had to move on to fleece some other "father" from his mother's list.
Either that or the old lush from Florida finally recognised him as her REAL nephew and is now willing to share some of the Clarksville earnings with him.
Moy could take this in so many directions...
More frightening than even Wilbur in those shorts, is that dresser! It's so TALL that if it were to fall forward it would squish someone! You could get a nosebleed trying to get your socks and undies out of the top drawers each day.
ReplyDeleteJust like his mom, Kurt charmed the pants off Wilbur before leaving.
ReplyDeleteKurt came.
ReplyDeleteKurt and Wilbur bonded.
Kurt left.
The End.
What??? No more prancing through the woods in our tee shirts???!!!
ReplyDeleteTwo weeks later? I want to know what happened durng those two weeks!
ReplyDeleteI nominate Brick for "Comment of the Day."
ReplyDeleteWilbur: Oh Dawn, the last few weeks have just been I don't know what to
ReplyDeleteDawn: There there, Dad, I'm sure there's some...
Wilbur: Oh Dawn, could you...
Dawn: Don't say another word Dad. One turkey club coming up!
Moy could take this in so many directions...
ReplyDeleteAnd yet, she always chooses "downhill from here".
My first thought: "Mistah Kurtz -- he gone."
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 3/1/2010 10;43 a.m.:
ReplyDeleteI think you need to reverse steps 1 and 2.
Oh, Kurt got what he wanted all right.
I am now suffering a splitting headache, first because my brain is exploding trying to figure out what Karen Moy's point is with this storyline, and then because I'm so bored, I keep dozing off and mashing my head on the desktop.
ReplyDeletePlease pass the cyanide-laced Tylenol.
--wheelhead
Someone -- and I'm not directly accusing Kurt -- has taken the photo from the frame on the dresser. Was it another of those Wilbur portraits?
ReplyDeleteWilbur's got a smirk on his face when he tells Dawn that Kurt is gone. The DNA test resultscame back. Wilbur had to kill Kurt. He's trying to act surprised that Kurt is gone, but he's failing miserably.
ReplyDeleteWait a second...maybe I got this wrong. I guess Wilbur lured Kurt into the woods to murder him instead of vice versa.
ReplyDeleteMan, it's always the mild-mannered guy you'd least expect that turns out to be a serial killer!
I wonder how many other "sons" Wilbur has??
The next Charterstone pool party should be fun: Ian Cameron comes up, claps Wilbur Weston heartily on the back and asks what's new. Wilbur says, "Well, I'd been spending quality time bonding in the woods with a young man who thought he might be my son, and after we'd connected on many levels, he just up and disappeared one day, two weeks after we gave blood together at the clinic. It's just the darndest thing, isn't it?" Ian backs away, slowly...
ReplyDeleteI'm enjoying your pool party scenario, Imogene, only I imagine Ian's response more like this: "A young man who thought he might be your son, Wilbur? Same thing happened to a colleague of mine. That's technology today! People are almost TOO EASY to find!"
ReplyDeleteShame on you for snooping in Wilbur's mail, Dawn! Kids today! (*rolling my eyes*)
ReplyDeleteAnd where are Kurt's manners, not even leaving a nice thank-you note for Wilbur: "thanks for the fishing, the forest full of bonding times, the sparkly shoes, and those marvelous wonderbread sandwiches"!?
The burning question now--will Kurt de-friend Wilbur on FB?
Finally, this story is almost over.
ReplyDeleteGoodbye, Papa, please pray for me,
ReplyDeleteI was the black sheep of the family.
You tried to teach me right from wrong.
Too much wine and too much song,
wonder how I get along...
I also like Seasons in the Sun for this story, Maude. It reads somewhat like the note that Kurt may have left:
ReplyDelete"Goodbye to you, my trusted friend. With you I acted nine or ten. Together we climbed hills or trees. Spoke of love and our Abby. To a paternity test I agreed. I hope you enjoyed my company."
Poor uneasy and restless Kurt.
I love purple, and have a fair bit in my wardrobe, but Dawn is taking it to extremes.
ReplyDeleteI hope Kurt took the salmon squares from the freezer when he left. A boy needs to eat.
ReplyDeleteTomorrow, Wilburs girl friend returns and asks, "Did anything interesting happen while I was gone?" We will all reply, "no".
ReplyDeletehow has maury povich missed this gripping drama? I'd like to see Wilbur and Kurt on there
ReplyDeleteChester said...
ReplyDeleteFinally, this story is almost over.
You had to go and say it. Now it's six more weeks of Wilbur.
I just had a horrible thought -- what IF the tests are positive after all. This story could go on forever!
ReplyDeleteHere's an even MORE horrible thought- what if Wilbur was a real player, back in the day- and even MORE possible kids show up? This could go on forever.
ReplyDeleteIs it just me or is Wilbur WAY too upset about Kurt being gone??
ReplyDelete"Clinical Medical Labs"?!?!
ReplyDeleteCan we possibly come up with a more banal name for an American business?
Sharp Carving Knives, Ltd.
Heavy Concrete Producers, Inc.
Dull Soap Opera Comics, LLC
Actually, I think Moy and Giella already opened that last one. Yep, they're in Wikipediawebs.
--wheelhead
Is it me or does Wilbur being way too upset look a lot like Wilbur being mundane?
ReplyDeleteI can't even believe that Dawn didn't open that envelope first! It's only closed with a clasp, for pete's sake!
ReplyDeleteWilbur "...Kurt probally ran away not wanting to see it..."
ReplyDeleteWilbur is an idiot.
Kurt could have just stayed and NOT looked in the envelope. Or he could have taken the envelope out of the mailbox and HID it. OR he could taken the envelope, opened it, and CHANGED the paternity results. It's not like Wilbur would have known the difference, and they'd be back, frolicking in the woods, in no time!