Noticing all the business casual wear at the Charterstone pool party, Mary Worth suddenly remembers she has to return a blouse and quickly disapperates to the back corner of Marcy's Department Store. It's good to know Mary doesn't support such small-town destroying companies like Santaroymart.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Mary Worth 711
Noticing all the business casual wear at the Charterstone pool party, Mary Worth suddenly remembers she has to return a blouse and quickly disapperates to the back corner of Marcy's Department Store. It's good to know Mary doesn't support such small-town destroying companies like Santaroymart.
Marcy's is one drab store.
ReplyDeleteOf course, Mary is too snooty to shop at Santaroyalemart.
So the 'return' of a neighbor reminded Mary to 'return' her shirt.
ReplyDeleteSo what, is Mary going to spend the entire week wandering around the sales displays and making puns in her mind about "returns" and "exchanges"? Maybe by Friday she'll run into the next story?
ReplyDeleteNon sequitur alert. Does not compuete. Does not compute.
ReplyDeleteDid Moy attempt to say something like, "Sometimes the things we want, are not the things we need"?
ReplyDeleteIsn't she paid to communicate effectively using the written word?
I have no idea where she's off to with this script, but I think she's running them back and forth through a couple of language translations on Babelfish again. It's a tough habit to kick.
So where did this stupid shirt come from that she suddenly has to return?
ReplyDeleteDid she buy it in her sleep? Did she see someone at the pool party wearing the exact same shirt, so she has to return it to avoid embarrassment? Was it a gift from one of her meddlees?
This story line could get interesting...but we know it won't.
I wonder if this is where all the fashionable ladies of Charterstone shop? Perhaps this is the subtle start of a thrilling story about Mary's secret ongoing battle with kleptomania?
ReplyDeleteOMG!! Are we going to have three weeks of Mary returning a blouse???
ReplyDeleteExcuse me while I go shoot myself.
''Do you have a receipt, Ma'am?''
ReplyDeleteMary rummages through her purse...
''Yes, here it is! Wait...that's for my dry cleaning...Wait! No, that was from Taco Bell, last week...Aha! Here it is...No, that's my grocery list...''
I wonder if Mary is carrying a 'BUBBLE Reward Card'. from Marcy's. She could earn an extra 25% off!
ReplyDeleteSo yeah...As Brick noted, the return of Iris, who nobly sacrificed her time, energy, and emotion to care for an elderly relative rates no more interest on Mary's radar, than the return of a cheap polyester blouse!!
ReplyDeleteAnd now Mary will condescendingly lecture us that by returning a blouse she "wants" but doesn't "need", some homeless person somewhere can now have a hot meal, or some such thing.
Actually I like to shop, so maybe this will fun! Is "Marcy's" anything like "Macy's"?
I think so... In fact... I'll bet that while she was in New York, Iris had a chance to see the Marcy's Thanksgiving Day Parade!
ReplyDeleteIs Santa Clara in Orange County? And does Orange County have an ordinance that all its denizens must wear orange all the time? How else can you explain the unvaried orange sartorial splendor of practically every character in the strip?
ReplyDeleteWhat are the odds that the blouse she is returning is also orange?
Yeah, I have to wonder about Mary's sudden desire to return a blouse because she doesn't want it. Then why did she buy it? It sounds like some sort of compulsive ritual. See blouse. Want blouse. Buy blouse. Closet too full. Guilt sets in. Don't need blouse. Return blouse. See slacks. Want slacks...
ReplyDeletehia5: Santa Clara is in Santa Clara County. Do you mean Santa Royale? If so, I haven't heard a reference to the county, but that would be an excellent trivia question. You may be onto something with all the orange. Go Syracuse!
Vicki: There is a HUGE difference between "Macys" and "Marcys".
ReplyDeleteMacys redecorates their stores occasionally.
Did Mary ever wear the blouse? Maybe the cashier will take a quick sniff and smell salmon squares. Or will the cashier look into the DOS-based cash register software and find the blouse was paid for by Tobys credit card!
Hey Wanders, maybe Mary needs one of those closet hanger things that you showed us a while back. From Harriet Carter! No wonder her wardrobe is such a mess.
On another note, this weekend I received MR ED SEASON TWO in the mail. What a great show!
Phew.
Which way will this story go? Will Moy use the strip as self-therapy for her compulsive shopping habit? Or will we meet an undeservedly homeless person and all be inspired to take our excess clothing to the mission?
ReplyDeleteOr, best of all, will Mary hire a closet organizer who has a miserable but exciting personal life that Mary can help her with? New blood would be nice...
Mary's not really helping the economy now, is she?
ReplyDeleteIf Mary were really the person she thinks she is, she'd donate the dopey blouse to a woman's shelter or something. There's nothing especially noble about returning a blouse because you've got more cltohes than you know what to do with. The fact that she bought a blouse she doesn't need makes me wonder if senility has finally takenits toll.
ReplyDeleteI only hope she sees a sale on curtains that are not pink. That would be refreshing.
Has anyone noticed how vague Mary's deep thoughts are? "Some things last a long time." "Some things are stronger than blood." "Sometimes want, but rarely need" (Which, by the way, I'm sure the kids in Dr. Jeff's orphanage would see as a distinction that's some way beyond absurd. 'Yeah kid, I know you want some rice, but you don't really need it. You'll probably just return it anyway.')
ReplyDeleteVagueness is Mary's shield and Karen Moy's crutch. Neither has to answer for lazy thinking or bad writing simply by using the magical "some" word!
Excuse me. I feel some bile coming up.
I have a feeling Worthless is going to run into someone at Marcy's. Dr. Drew perhaps? Or Delilah?
ReplyDeleteLOL @ Chester the Dog's comment. No, really - I literally laughed out loud.
3/24 - OK, I haven't had the pleasure of snarking long enough to know who this woman with the marijuana leaves on her shirt is. Anyone know?
ReplyDeleteShe also doesn't seem all that enthusiastic about running into...The Meddler.
In my defense, if I'd known that old gasbag Mary Worth still shopped at Marcy's I'd have never gone into the store the first place. Just so everyone knows.
ReplyDeleteI always imagined that Santa Royale was Santa Barbara, CA. It has a university (UCSB), where Ian can pontificate) and it is suitably isolated from the world. Santa Clara is near San Jose (northern California). Too urban.
ReplyDelete3/24 The way Bonnie? Bonnie Johnson? is drawn makes me wonder if the name shouldn't be Barney, Bennie, or Beauregard Johnson because those are some manly characteristics there. A sturdy woman indeed!
ReplyDeleteI am very happy to meet Bonnie? Bonnie Johnson?
ReplyDeleteShe appears to be a new character, but with that leafy blouse, she could have been lurking in the shrubbery at the Charterstone pool parties for years, undetected!
At least Bonnie is out supporting the economy with her many purchases from Marcy's, while Mary is worrying over one blouse she didn't "need." Of course, if Bonnie's outfit is any indication of what's on sale at Marcy's, it might be for the best Mary returned her trendy mall fashion choice.
ReplyDeleteHere's why Mary has so few friends:
ReplyDelete"Well hello, Mary! Looks like we're both in a shopping mood today, said Bonnie. Mary replied,"Oh no, dear-- I am returning a blouse. In fact, it's the very same one YOU'RE wearing!! It just made me look so FAT, just HUGE!!!"
Awkward silence. "Oh", said Bonnie, walking away quickly, face reddening with embarrassment.
Mary's highly superior and elite thought bubble: "Uh HUH, that Bonnie has a weight problem and a shopping problem. She has TWO shopping bags, tsk tsk.
(@Chester-- I'm sorry I got the two stores mixed up. I wasn't wearing my glasses, and doggone it, I don't have a charge card for "Marcy's", so i"m just terribly disappointed!)
I haven't shopped much lately at any of the fine establishments that offer paper handle shopping bags. But this afternoon, I listened to the Charterstone Jukebox... Moon River... Theme from a Summer Place... Stranger on the Shore... and imagined that I was at Marcy's in Santa Royale for an afternoon of shopping and lunch. It was very relaxing.
ReplyDeleteOh, with 'Les Baxter - Poor People of Paris' I could almost feel the bag in my hand!
ReplyDeleteI am looking forward to the "Marcys" Thanksgiving Day Parade in Santa Royale this year. The bands, the floats, the crowds, oh, no, never mind, that would be too much fun.
ReplyDeleteOh, I found a picture of the mall that Marcy's is in. Go here...
http://www.labelscar.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/07/chris-town-mall-1960s.jpg
That's a gorgeous mall, Chester. You can clearly see Marcy's main competitor, C.J. Pennies. The only thing missing in that picture: zombies!
ReplyDeleteDoes the jukebox not have "Summer Samba" by Walter Wanderley? That tune would probably put you relaxing shopping and lunch adventure right over the top.
Great shopping song, Toots! WANDER-ley should most definitely be added to the jukebox for our listening pleasure while we watch Mary 'shop', so to speak.
ReplyDeleteAnd Chester, I believe you've found the Santa Royale Mall of the Future and what a lovely shade of salmon/orange it is!
I also noticed there don't appear to be sales associates at Marcy's. Apparently it's a high-end self-service department store.
ReplyDeleteAlas, Mary is not in the publications I receive now but we go back a long way. What a delight of find this blog, courtesy of Brick. Did anyone notice that Marys neckline...under the orange coat..looks a bit like a Roman collar? Perhaps she wears this when making weghty moral decisions?
ReplyDeleteOh, Brick that relaxing afternoon at the mall sounds divine! I'll just throw on a flowing purple and orange caftan, and meet you by the food court! After lunch, maybe we can shop for CDs at Sam Baddy's, then off to Montgomery Lord's for Easter bonnets!
ReplyDeleteMary's Roman collar, Lollee, may explain this week's platitude, which suggests a recent vow of poverty.
ReplyDeleteWhy would she want to return those clothes? Practically all women, especially rich old ladies like Mary Worth, want to go crazy buying clothes at the mall. Besides, what does this have to do with whatever story they're on right now?
ReplyDelete