I hope Blonde Jeff remembers all the problems Brunette Jeff's jealousy created when Mary started dating Ron Amalfi. Of course, really, Jeff. John is a balding, ex-hotel manager, living on Social Security and making CAKES. You are a blonde doctor. Get over it and let Mary spend all the time she want's with John at his apartment.
Oh, goody, a Jealous Jeff plot line. Well, good for him, he deserves it. After all, he's been sidelined for months by an interminable Droopy Dawn story. What Jeff needs to realize is that Mary's interest is directly proportional to the amount of need she sees in her victims....er, friends. The last time she was deeply, truly involved with Jeff was when he got sick in Vietnam. Maybe he ought to consider getting sued for malpractice or slipping into a coma. That'll get her attention.
ReplyDeleteJeff might take solace from Mary's calling him "Dear" in yesterday's strip. On the other hand, she admitted to being distracted by thoughts of her "friend," the cakemaker. What is poor Jeff to do ?
ReplyDeleteFace it Doc, you're just "Driving Miss Mary". She only keeps you around for the free dinners and the occasional boat ride. You really should dump the old biddy and move on.
ReplyDeleteCake design fever has gripped Charterstone as well as the greater Santa Royale area, including Goleta. Word of cash and fabulous prizes has spread among the excitement-starved populace of the region.
ReplyDeleteJohn Dill didn't claw his way up the lovely and quaint hotel management ladder only to let a ruthless old meddler snatch his dreams. He pretends to let her be his 'helper' and puts her off everytime she tries to horn in. Meanwhile, he lets the word get out that the beauty of nature is the theme, and the sheeple of Charterstone start working on cakes with that theme. They'll get away with submitting their entry requests later, they figure; in the meantime, good old John Dill will tell them what they need to know.
Mary Worth didn't fight for every inch of territory in the nosy old biddy universe only to let a pathetic old widowed hotel manager keep her out of the big time cake design world. She'll make her own entry, starting as soon as she has cribbed all his ideas and picked his brain. Right now, she envisions a white cake decorated with white sugar icing and with snowmen, igloos, and snow-capped mountains.
Toby is currently designing a cake featuring clowns frolicking in the forest.
Ian has his own ideas about what represents the beauty of nature, and he's sitting in his La-Z-Lad watching videos of sexy lasses dancing Gangnam Style. When Toby comes into the den, he quickly clicks on another channel featuring a Sean Connery marathon featuring one word titles, not including the Bond films. (Ian's favorite is Zardoz- what? you thought I would make another cheap Scots joke by selecting Highlander?).
Dawn, never at a loss for bad ideas, has decided to celebrate the beauty of the human form and is working on a reproduction of the David (reminds her of Dave). There are..architectural...problems, and every time she begins to frost the standing David, he crumples to the floor. Sometimes he keels over backwards, other times he falls apart into his various manly components, and sometimes he falls right on his noble face.
Dawn reconsiders her project. Perhaps the David could be supine...then he would be just like the lying Dave!
Wilbur, true to his nature, envisions the beauty of nature as represented by food- to wit, a cake designed as a basket of bread, salami, cheese, lettuce, onions, and mustard. The ingredients will be all natural of course. Wilbur sets up a model with actual ingredients to inspire him, and spends many happy days eating them. At the end of two weeks, no cake has been produced, but oh, those sandwiches!
Retired brain surgeon Dr. Jeff works with what he knows, and the results are disgusting in appearance, if not actually inedible.
Bonnie (Bonnie Johnson) naturally decides to just buy a cake, and the UPS truck frequently stops at her apartment with packages from Cakes 'R' Us, LetThemMailCake, and Collins Street fruitcakes. These items she stores, 'just in case'. (Bonnie is Santa Royale's foremost prepper).
Jim is also going to enter, but he will produce only half a cake.
Nola has stolen Dan Smithers' idea and has asked Hobo to assist her in sculpting a cake in the image of the shrubbery in Corporation's atrium.
And Wayne the kidnapper is baking a fabulous cake in his cell which incorporates the view through his prison bars (mud and stars) and a rainbow.
What IS the actual theme of the competition? Only John Dill (and a few hundred others) knows. The beat(ing) goes on.
Mary goes power walking with Toby and excitedly tells her all about John Dill and the cake design contest. Next, Mary mysteriously leaves to "help a friend", and later goes out to dinner with Dr. Jeff and doesn't bother to mention John or the contest. Why does Jeff put up with such treatment?
ReplyDeleteWe need a thought bubble illustrating Jeff's perception of Mary's "friend." A Ron Amalfi type, or a sinister Ted Confrey type? Who does Jeff think would be interested in Mary, for Pete's sake?
ReplyDeleteAn appeal to fellow Worthiverse friends who comment via iPhone or iPad: When I try to post my comment and select Name/URL, I'm unable to enter my name and post. If anyone can tell me what I'm doing wrong, I'd appreciate it!
Our own meg has time on her hands and too many meds, it seems... but great back ground stories!
ReplyDeleteI also love the way his roiling jealousy (really? finally!) even musses up his hair. Me mad now!
I'm with Thorp and Anon. Mary is a callous and opportunistic snot.
ReplyDeleteDr. Jeff can do better, esp. now that he's lightened his hair and wearing interesting clothing combos. Not to mention driving a pink "Fast and Furious" sportscar.
Since MW has already moved on, it's time for Dr. J. to do likewise. Go get 'em, Dr. J.!
Ok, so now MARY is entering the cake contest.... John must have forged her signature at the bottom of his entry form. Where will the madness end?
ReplyDelete*loooooong sigh*
ReplyDeleteI'm predicting Jeff eventually pulls a Kelrast maneuver and then we can move on from these stupid jealous Jeff plots once and for all. Besides being boring, it's totally unrealistic because Mary is the most unappealing person in the world.
@meg: Bravo, that had me in stitches!
ReplyDeleteObviously, Dr. Jeff has been on "Pimp My Ride". Where else can you get orange car seats with black headliner and hot pink trim? What we can't see are the fuzzy dice hanging from the mirror and the Playboy mudflaps.
ReplyDeleteJohn Dill is a terrorist. There will be a dirty bomb in his cake entry. Once it blows, John will frame Mary.
ReplyDeleteWhat if Dr. Jeff gave Mary some mudflaps?!
ReplyDeleteHas Jeff never heard of the annual Santa Royale Cake Design Competition? As Mary, Toby and John Dill discussed it, the SRCDC is epic, a magnitudinous contest that's even broadcast by the local TV station. Yet she simply tells Jeff "I'm entering a cake contest..." like it's no big deal.
ReplyDeleteI hope the cake competition and the Worthy Awards don't fall on the same night. Santa Royale couldn't stand that much excitement.
Is Dr. Jeff going to propose to Mary again? Or maybe Dr. Jeff will just go over to John Dill's apartment and threaten him to stay away from his girl. Maybe Dr. Jeff finds a widow and enters into the cake competition too. So many possibilities.
ReplyDeleteOf course Dr. Jeff could just go back to watching TV.
Hang in there Jeff. You and Mary have such great chemistry. She's worth the decades of waiting.
ReplyDeleteWas there a misprint on Dr. Jeff's bottle of "Grecian Formula"?
ReplyDeleteSign me,
Bum Boat
It's a cake competition Dr. Jeff; I don't think you have anything to worry about.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Dr. Jeff is trying to hide his age to make a play at Dawn. Wouldn't that be brutal?!
@meg- WOW! That was awesome! You should write a scandalous erotic novel about the characters in Mary Worth, and call it Fifty Shades of Orange & Purple.
ReplyDeleteMaude: Puh-leeze! This is a family-friendly blog. Besides, I was going to call it Fifty Shades of Gray Hair.
ReplyDeleteFifty Shades of Salmon
ReplyDeleteDave in Parma may be onto something here. After all, both Dave ("reminds me of Dave") and Jim have blond hair. Just a few shades lighter and Jeff will be ready to make his move.
ReplyDelete@maude - "Fifty Shades of Orange & Purple" cracked me up!
If John and Mary win the cake design contest, maybe they could start a catering business. "Gastronomic Disasters" would be the perfect name for it.
John Dill may appear to be a mild mannered former hotel manager. In reality, he is "CAKEMAN", a superhero who subdues evildoers with a cake to the face. Uncle Joe will be back in the groove.
ReplyDelete@meg: I was thinking "Highlander" when I read your next sentence. Too funny.
ReplyDeleteNext, please tell us about Dr. Drew's adventures in Vietnam. And Adrian's honeymoon - Fifty Shades of Bora Bora.
This new storyline is hilarious!
Was Jeff even invited to the Charterstone pool party? Maybe his consternation is in finding that, after looking forward to it all year, he missed it.
ReplyDeleteFifty shades of royal icing? Meg, you are brilliant! And Dave in Parma, the idea oh a May/December Dawn/Jeff romance is delightfully inappropriate
ReplyDeleteYay, another jealous Jeff storyline. At least this one has the added benefit of talks of cake.
ReplyDeleteoops, plagiarized fauxprof without realizing it
ReplyDeleteHopefully Dr. Jeff will pull a Jill Black and bust in screaming/drunk and ruin the cake competition during the judging! On live TV! One can hope anyway.
ReplyDeleteIs Moy prescient? A ferry boat ran into a pier in NYC today.
ReplyDelete