The 2012 Worthy Awards

Ladies and Gentleman, Loyal Readers, and Citizenry of Santa Royale! Welcome to the Fifth Annual Worthy Awards, broadcasting to you live and in living color from Santa Royale, California, just outside of Goleta!


Tonight the stars come out to shine as we celebrate the outstanding achievements of 2012 in the popular serial comic strip Mary Worth. There's a lot planned for this special evening, and the condo board has been working harder than ever to make sure this evening is as fantastic as ghost pie!


So without further ado, let's get things started with an exciting opening musical number.




Each year, we begin our honors with a special tribute to a Mary Worth character who died during the course of the year. This year, the coveted Worthy Award for best dead character goes to Jim's dead sister Merry!

Congratulations, Merry! Enjoy your trophy in heaven! You will live on in Jim, and creepily, in his girlfriend as well.


And now, dear readers, your votes have been counted. Thousands of votes were cast this year, making the 2012 Worthy Awards our biggest ever (with a special thanks to Josh at the Comics Curmudgeon for encouraging everyone to vote).



The nominees for OUTSTANDING PROP in 2012 are:  

Mary's Big Computer

Big Rubber Finger

Chin Napkin

Jim's New Arm

And the Worthy Award goes to: 

Jim's New Arm  

Congratulations to Jim and his new arm. It's been a well liked arm and is working out really well. Plus, it's helped Jim suppress his moody dark side.


Guest characters play a special role in Mary Worth. Each year, several strangers wander into the story and steal our hearts as Mary Worth meddles away their sense of independence and self esteem. And now...


The nominees for OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A GUEST CHARACTER in 2012 are:

Magical Hobo

Nola Wolvenson

Emily Smith from Goleta

Jim

And the Worthy Award goes to:

Jim

This is one-armed Jim's first Worthy Award. It's true -- he may not have won Dawn Weston's heart, but who among us could resist the charm of a wanna-be Aquaman afraid of the ocean.


This year, profanity played a special part in Mary Worth. A very special part. Never before had we seen four symbol words used so prolifically (or even at all). But this year, people were swearing all over the place. Each time an obscenity crossed the lips of one of Mary Worth's guest characters (never would an established character use such language), we had a heightened sense of the tensions that drove each person toward their ultimate destiny.


The nominees for OUTSTANDING USE OF PROFANITY in 2012 are:

Dan Smithers

Nola Wolvenson

Wayne the Kidnapper

Cruise Ship Passenger

Cruise Ship Captain

And the winner is:

Cruise Ship Captain

Or is that Curse Ship Captain? Ha ha ha ha.


Mary Worth's established characters provide a sense of continuity in Santa Royale. Often observers of the Worthiverse around them, from time to time, established characters rise to play a pivotal role in the chain of events.


This year, the nominees for OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A REGULAR CHARACTER are:

Mary Worth

Wilbur Weston

Dawn Weston

Jeff Cory, M.D.

And the winner is:

Wilbur Weston  

Oh my gosh! This is Wilbur's third Worthy in a row! Wilbur Weston THREEPEATS!! It's never been done before! He's bigger than Tom Hanks. He's bigger than Spencer Tracy! He is bigger than Tom Hanks and Spencer Tracy put together!! 

 

And now, all Mary Worth stories are made of moments we never forget: 

The nominees for OUTSTANDING PANEL of 2012 are:

Jim "Bob"

Our Social Order

Reminds me of Dave

Gina in the Sky
And the winner is:

Reminds me of Dave

Really no surprise here whatsoever.

 

And now, the moment we've all been waiting for:

The nominees for OUTSTANDING STORY of 2012 are:

Woo-Hoo Bobby

Whatever Nola Wants

Kidnapped! (or Free Ice Cream)

Life is Brutal  

And the outstanding story for 2012 is:

Life is Brutal

And so, ladies and gentlemen, thank you. Thank you for your votes. Thank you for your daily comments. Thank you for your wonderful support of this outstanding comic strip. Each day is a new adventure, or at least a new sentence in an adventure. If you call decorating a cake an adventure. And that's what makes Mary Worth great. When I wake in the morning, I know two things: The sun will rise, and there will be a few more sentences in the current Mary Worth story. And that's what keeps me going.

But no matter what happens, we'll always have Mountview.