Elinor is recuperating in the Doctors' Lounge? A blue cloud of cigarette smoke, a white hot spotlight, and a red hot gown, as Elinor drapes herself across a baby grand and sings,"Cry Me a River."
Friday, May 31, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Mary Worth 1,603
So, did the EMT's hook their patient up to an intravenous anticoagulant even though she registered no abnormal vital signs and was only pretending to be unconscious? Or did they just shove some aspirin down her gullet? Because I believe one of those blood thinners would be legal for them to administer, and the other one wouldn't.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Mary Worth 1,602
I think you mean, "It's all the fault of that workaholic, bachelor... BABY man! Tom Harpman!"
Friday, May 24, 2013
Mary Worth 1,601
.gif "He's faster than a speeding bullet.")
Do you think if people keep repeating it, we will actually start to believe that Tom works hard? And yet, we've never seen him work a day, nor do we have any idea what kind of work he does. Maybe he's on the Charterstone maintenance crew, quietly working behind the scenes on projects like (very quickly) installing larger mailboxes so the Charterstone residents have room for larger Social Security checks.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Mary Worth 1,600
This is funny because old people are hard of hearing. They also borrow each others' clothes.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Mary Worth 1,599
Great idea, Tom! Then you can have two mothers! Beth AND Elinor. I wonder if there are any other women at Charterstone whom you could add to the collection. #panel_two
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Mary Worth 1,598
Isn't it great that after they fell in love, they changed their names to Beth Dear and Tom Dear?
Monday, May 20, 2013
Mary Worth 1,597
Ashamed? Why? Because you wear a blue onesie and like to sit on my lap? Of COURSE NOT.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Friday, May 17, 2013
Mary Worth 1,595
This panel isn't as scandalous as you may be thinking. Uncle Joe has simply drawn Beth with three shoulders.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Mary Worth 1,594
Mary, still full of youthful vigor, pulls off the overhand-overhead twist as she propels orange juice into Toby's cup.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Mary Worth 1,593
Chin napkins in love!
The other day, some of you asked for evidence that I've been learning to play the ukulele. My post is a little late today because I've been spending Mother's Day alone in my basement recording this while my wife fixed dinner for the kids.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Mary Worth 1,592
Be careful what you wish for. You could end up with the most demanding and oppressive mother-in-law of all time. Ha ha ha ha.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Mary Worth 1,591
I didn't have time to write this morning, but I couldn't go to bed without posting: Tom and Beth both play the ukulele? I like them more and more each day. I've been playing the ukulele for over a year now and it is the most wonderful instrument ever invented. For these two ukulele players to find each other in a world of pop-40 is a true miracle. Now eat your yummy pork blobs and get married already! Put this lonely bachelor out of his misery.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
Mary Worth 1,589
Just what every workaholic bachelor divorcé wants: A wife who cooks AND treats him like her own little four-year-old child.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Mary Worth 1,588
I wish Tom would stop referring to himself as a bachelor. I know that technically he's correct, but isn't divorcé more accurate? I mean, in my mind, calling Tom Harpman a bachelor is like calling anyone who appears on the show "The Bachelor" a virgin, even if they have stopped having sex. I mean, once it's gone, it's gone.
Also, the salt is back. Go salt!
Friday, May 3, 2013
Mary Worth 1,587
See Tom. See Tom wash carrots. Wash, Tom, Wash. See carrots. Wait. Wha...? What happened to the carrots? And what happened to that sink? Can we start over?
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Mary Worth 1,586
I've been sick the last few days, and too sick to write, but Mary Worth brought some soup over last night, and I'm starting to get back on my feet.
So, today I'll just point out that Mary's reaction to being asked to lie for Beth is adorable. Simply adorable.