Monday, July 15, 2013

Mary Worth 1,634

Dry those eyes, Chin Napkin. The Deep Emotions that Pax Wellness Center brings out in everyone will keep you very, very busy indeed.

Speaking of another "Beloved Mary..."

Today's Full Strip

52 comments:

  1. It seems that Chin Napkin has been so distracted by the beauty of sand and rocks that it's missed the chin of Distressed Girl and lodged itself up her nose. Looks like Mary traded in her healthy meal of a Bob Evans Breakfast Bowl and can of Red Bull for a bowl of steamed kelk and a bottle of Milk of Magnesia.

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  2. The Pax Wellness Resort is not the luxurious establishment we were led to expect. If Mary wanted to eat lunch on a tray and bus her own table, she could have stayed in Santa Royale and eaten at the Mountview Hospital cafeteria. And, those Aqua bottles are very bad for the environment!

    Emily Smith clone has made a terrible mistake. When Mary Worth asks if you could use company, say, "Who, me? No thanks, I'm just fine by myself!"

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  3. ''The beauty of the area seems to bring out deep emotions in everybody''? Really? You come across a crying woman, and make a comment that sounds like something you read out of the brochure in the lobby? For all Mary knows, this woman could be depressed because she lost her entire family in some horrible accident, or she's in the midst of a really nasty divorce, or she's only got six months to live... Ah, who am I kidding? This is Mary Worth, I'm sure her problems won't be anywhere near as interesting.

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  4. What I don't get is how Mary can "notice that a fellow participant seems distressed" simply by looking at the back of her head. It must be Mary's sixth sense (potential meddling vibes).

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  5. ''The beauty of the area seems to bring out deep emotions in everybody''--taken from page 212 of the "Things No Human Would Ever Say" handbook that is clearly Moy's constant companion.

    I wonder... is writing (and I use that term very loosely) this strip a career choice or just a huge chucklefest for someone who just delights in knowing she actually gets paid for coming up with this stuff?

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  6. Chin Napkin GroupieJuly 15, 2013 at 11:34 AM

    Although it is gratifying to see Chin Napkin working again, it's unfortunate that he must be subjected to unexpected bodily fluids. But I guess in these hard times one takes work when one can.

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  7. All of these people chose to eat outdoors? It's 100 degrees and thunderstorming in Tucson today. And if Mary goes for a walk, she's facing the possibility of sunstroke, getting caught in a flash flood, or maybe a snakebite! This could get exciting yet.

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  8. Love love love the trailer, Wanders! The movie looks well cast. They had me at Tom Hanks as Walt Disney. I hadn't heard about the movie until this morning and now I'm so excited for it!

    P.S. - Sorry for the deep emotional response, it's just the beauty of this blog.

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  9. Participant? And who will Mary match her up with, since this is apparently a women-only resort? That could be "something new/something different."

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  10. Mary could of course short-circuit the whole meddle-fest with one question, "Are you okay?" But no, she will spend the next three months punishing this woman (at the $500/day resort) with endless platitudes and invasive questioning. Maybe they can get lost in the canyons together where Mary squeezes water out of cactii with her bare hands to survive.

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  11. What she really said, "I cry when I see lotsa rocks, too."

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  12. Someone to meddle with?! How could this vacation get any better!

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  13. With her wistful thoughts and yoga-induced trances, Mary seemed to be headed for a passionate fling (before settling for boring Jeff).

    But no, she's going to help another damsel in distress. Ho Hum.

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  14. Oh man, I want to be excited about "Saving Mr. Banks," but the last film company I would trust to make an honest film about Disney is Disney. Everything I've read says that Travers hated the Disney adaptation of her book, and the trailer makes it look as though Magical Walt wins her over to his way of thinking with a trip to Disneyland. OY.

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  15. Yeah... what could be more psychologically and physically 'restorative' than barren landscapes and oppressive dry heat. Maybe for a lizard.

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  16. Saving Disney Bank AccountsJuly 16, 2013 at 11:39 AM

    Dang. I had hoped the movie would be a sequel to Joe Versus the Volcano. (Hanks' character was Joe Banks.) Sadly no.

    For those familiar with that movie, 'brain cloud' might describe the effect of a Mary Worth meddle-fest on hapless strangers.

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  17. Just a spoonful of sugar, people. We're discussing a Disney films and comic strips here.

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  18. "I lost my husband seven months ago. We were at Costco, and he disappeared without a trace!"

    Okay, on to Mary Worth reality (using the term loosely). Seven months seems too short a term for even Mary to indulge in match-making, doesn't it? Will Mary introduce Blonde Widow to a grief-support group, or encourage her to take up therapeutic cake decorating? Perhaps something to do with the beauty of the area.

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  19. Oppressive heat and obscessive Mary. Quite restorative.

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  20. Oh geez, Wanders..you made me cry with that trailer. Mighty sweet of you to show it. Thanks.

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  21. If I had been Travers, I would have had a conniption at Dick van Dyke's dreadful pseudo-Cockney accent. It ruined the movie for me.

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  22. Dawn dyed her hair and is stalking Mary for advice? Or is this Jim's sister back from the dead?

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  23. WEDNESDAY

    And so ends the Restorative Portion of Mary's stay at the Pax Wellness Center.

    One yoga class, some scenery, and a healthful lunch, and she's already back at her Advice Dispensing/Meddling.

    But, as we all know, "Wellness is an individual process and cannot be rushed."

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  24. Young blonde widow, have you tried savasana? No? Join me in class tomorrow morning. We're gonna wash that man right outa your hair.

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  25. Today's dialogue would be a contender for a Worthy Award for Most Awkward and/or Stilted Dialogue, if that category existed.

    Going back to yesterday's strip, Mr. KitKat pointed out that Mary's latest meddle-ee is named June. How did Mary know that?

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  26. @KitKat (Wed. 11:26 AM) - Maybe the woman just looked like a "June" to her.

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  27. June, of course.
    It's been July for over two weeks now and so far it's been beautiful, but I'm still finding it difficult to be present. I need more time.
    Summer is an individual process and cannot be rushed.

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  28. KitKat, you are right about the stilted dialogue this week. It seems that Moy searched "Handling Grief" and copied some lines from Wikipedia.

    No surprise. Uncle Joe's intern uses Googled clip art of deserts and cafeterias (and airplane window seats and clouds)!

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  29. What kind of place IS this where non-medical people wear hospital scrubs all day!? It's just weird. (And I'd be "distressed", too, if I'd spent good money on a dumb trip like this!)

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  30. THURSDAY

    Mary realizes that all June needs is a little Arm-Wrestling Therapy. So, in Panel Two, they go at it.

    Clearly, Mary has underestimated June. Even in her grief, she is beastly strong, and Mary struggles mightily.

    I hope Pax Wellness has plenty of ice.

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  31. In tomorrow's exciting installment, Mary will unstick June by shoving her into a saguaro cactus.

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  32. As Moy descends into the depths of her sub mediocrity, Wanders loses his will to blog.

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  33. As the desert heat soars and Mary and June are the only ones still sitting outside, the vultures circle overhead. Keep sitting there in the restorative heat, Mary. Those vultures are hungry.

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  34. "I can't get over my dead husband"

    MW: "I've been here since this morning and already feel better!"

    ?!?!?!?!?!?!

    A second look at Monday's strip really shows the depth of Chin Napkin. The lamp-shade like symmetry with which she sits upon the new medlee's wrist is both graceful, yet powerful.

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  35. Chin Napkin GroupieJuly 19, 2013 at 7:45 AM

    Here, Here, Dave. But although it may be difficult to tell in these gender bending tines, Chin Napkin is definitely a "He".

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  36. Dawn Weston's Evil TwinJuly 19, 2013 at 11:57 AM

    Where's Wanders? So much is going on! Mary has stretched herself into renewed flexibility in a yoga class where she got to practice the corpse pose, she's had a delicious and nutritious cafeteria-style meal in the parched open air, and she's imposed herself and her "advice" on a new widow. Now she's going to drag the poor widow off into the desert, where who knows what will happen? Hopefully something naughty, but probably something boring.

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  37. Has Wanders gone to Pax Wellness Center to join Mary and "change his perspective"?

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  38. I'm having trouble staying present in this story. I'll just sit here, and dab Chin Napkin against various parts of my face, till Wanders returns.

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  39. Tucson today: 90 degrees and thunderstorms. Will it be heatstroke, lightning strike, or flash floods that get them? I can hardly wait!

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  40. Nice to see that it is cooler in Tucson than Cleveland today.

    Am so looking forward to the next month of Mary and June in the desert watching the cacti grow...

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  41. I'm picking up on a sort of Svengali-Trilby gender-bending relationship here. This is make me queasy - eesh.

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  42. Wanders has missed quite an exciting week.

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  43. I hope June and Mary run into Wanders while they're on their hike,

    and Wanders will agree with June that despite all of the beauty it has to offer, he too finds it difficult to stay present in the Worthyverse.

    Them their hike is interrupted by a rainstorm, which washes the desert scenery into puddles of orange and purple.

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  44. For all you Chin Napkin fans:
    I predict that the beloved rag will be used as a tourniquet on either Mary or June when one of them is bitten by a rattlesnake during their refreshing walk and ensuing ordeal in the 120 degree heat of the desert.

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  45. SATURDAY

    If tears are the silent language of grief, then my snoring is the vocal language of derision for this plot.

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  46. All those silent salty tears are drawing seagulls to the scene.

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  47. What type of bird should we see here in this furry orange rockscape?
    Maybe for some things ... there are no birds.

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  48. DuckDuck,

    Carrion eaters. Vultures. Crows. Condors.

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  49. Mary and June look like escapees from a women's penitentiary. However, there will be no need for the guards to capture them because they can't last long in that arid wilderness. For one thing, they didn't bring their Aqua bottles along.

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  50. June is desperately praying for a vulture to swoop down and carry her away from Mary.

    I like how Mary channels her inner Grim Reaper in panel 1.

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  51. Seagulls in the Arizona desert? Really?

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Don't be shy! I'd love to hear what you have to say about Mary Worth. Just keep it clean, that's all I ask. This is a FAMILY FRIENDLY blog. I don't want to moderate comments, but I will if I have to.