I, for one, never believed for a moment that our new story was going to be an epic tale of redemption centered around Tommy and Iris. It appears my expectations, however, will still be exceeded if this turns into an epic tale about Wilbur typing on the computer.
Memo to Wilbur: No one wants advice from someone whose thoughts are jumbled.
ReplyDeleteWilbur should un-jumble his thoughts with a lovely day of kite flying. It worked wonders for Dawn.
ReplyDeleteMary's expressions have been priceless. She looks concerned, upset and -- even better -- slightly threatening.
Yes, Wilbur. Please take some time for yourself. Your life may depend on it!
Yes, Mary.
ReplyDeleteWhenever someone gets dumped by his girlfriend of 9 years, his first thought is "now I can enjoy all my free time!"
And the same goes for widows and widowers,
Mary's desperate attempt to change Wilbur's mind seems to have failed. Now SHE will be the one with extra free time to enjoy. Back to volunteering at the hospital with you, Mary!
ReplyDeleteDidn't Mary just lecture all of us endlessly on the importance of accepting change? Now she is going to be distraught over this insignificant detail of who writes a meaningless and totally unread column?
ReplyDeleteI think I'll sit this one out. I'm going to go to Toby's and watch paint dry, even if the paint is on horrible clown paintings.
Or maybe I'll drop by Dr. Jeff's and see how he is handling the relationship that isn't.
No thanks, Mary. I really don't need any pie right now. I'll just see myself out...
This "plot" evolution is making me hurt in my head. I may reserve further comments for the seriously crazy stuff.
ReplyDeleteGive up the passive agression, Mary. Change is a bitch and you're out. Get over it.
ReplyDeleteMary, you fool! The answer to your problem is simple- suggest that Wilbur go to Pax.
ReplyDeleteWilbur: you're a mna. you don't need to stabilize your life by writing a column called "Ask Wendy", or i fear you may get more confused.
ReplyDeleteAs for Tommy living a normal life in Jefferson, methinks given the succession talk in Jefferson, CA that the transition might be a bit turbulent.
http://www.kval.com/politics/State-of-Jefferson-California-county-votes-for-secession-from-state-222537191.html
Trust @Chin Napkin Groupie to put a point on it. Love it.
ReplyDeleteAs Mary and Wilbur poke at their slabs of liver, and we Readers stare in amazement at Mary's French fry hand in Panel Two, KM is doubtlessly pondering a larger question:
KM: They did WHAT at the Costa Concordia?
If the point here is to make Mary a less and less likeable (tolerable might be a better word) character, the plan is working perfectly. She was insufferable as a know-it-all meddle-pot but this selfishness is just too, too much.
ReplyDeleteIs Tommy all cute and charming like Jessie Pinkman? Please, please, let Tommy live in an RV/Mobile Meth Lab parked in the Charterstone lot. Mary could bring a kelk casserole while Tommy is gone and just, you know, tidy the place up a bit. Borrow some sugar from the little plastic baggie.
ReplyDeletePlease, somebody tell me there is a chance for a Dawn/Tommy romance.
ReplyDeleteHe wouldn't be the first rogue transformed by the love of a good teen girl.
Mary: OK, Wilbur, I understand. But I was really honing my writing skills, and I'd like to keep on working for Paper. As you know, I know my way around a kitchen, so perhaps a recipe column...
ReplyDeleteWilbur: Well, actually, Mary, Beth Kinley Harpman is writing our food column. People are raving about her recipes for carrot/pork chop mousse and salt-encrusted fish.
Mary: Oh, well, in that case, you know I do power walks, and I took a yoga class at Pax, so perhaps a column about Senior Wellness...
Wilbur: Er--you see, Elinor Kinley has really turned her life around since her heart attack, and she's teaching Yoga and Water Aerobics, and has been writing about it for a couple of weeks, so...
Mary: Oh, that's wonderful. You know, I love to read, and I thought that...
Wilbur: Ian is doing book reviews for us now, and Toby is writing an arts scene recap once a week. Not only that, but the Doctors Corey--all three of them--are collaborating on a health series. Dawn's even contributing a teen angst column called "Life Doesn't Have to Be Brutal".
Mary: Well, if not cooking, why not baking? My kelkies and ghost pie...
Wilbur: Remember John Dill? He's E-mailing a weekly update from New York about baking. It's called "Fifty Shades of Pink", and the editors are very, very excited about it.
Mary: (desperately) You know, I really know how to find a bargain, so maybe a shopping column...
Wilbur: They have someone on that. Her name is Bonnie...Bonnie Johnson? Hey, Mary, what are you doing with that big heavy gray book? Ahhhggggh!!!
Fauxproof: Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteFauxprof!! Lol!!
ReplyDelete@Fauxprof, that was inspired! Huzzah!!
ReplyDelete@Fauxproof - Very Funny!!!
ReplyDeleteWednesday
ReplyDeleteSomething about Mary's blouse reminds me of the Lone Ranger's shirt.
Just think what will happen to Wilbur if Dawn ever graduates, finds a job, and moves out of the Weston nest! No worries - none of those are likely to happen.
Mary is so distraught by the loss of the column, she's trying to drown herself by simultaneous speaking and drinking.
fauxprof, you're killing me! But I warn you, you've not heard the last of this storyline.
ReplyDeleteThe government shutdown is great news for Mary Worth. Now that the NSA can't spy on us...Mary is on the case, and she's taking names.
ReplyDelete