Monday, September 15, 2014

Mary Worth 1895

This story ended a couple of weeks ago, but we are still talking about it. It was just that good! However, I'm going to take some time off and let Toby and Mary find their way to a new subject. I think I'll be in a better place when I return.

64 comments:

  1. "She sounds easy to love."
    "Different exceptional is still different."

    Toby Cameron has a certain way with words.

    Mary's making me think of B.B. King:
    "Nobody loves me but my mother, and she could be jivin too"

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  2. Mary Worth, the musical: Toby breaks into a Cole Porter number.

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  3. Olive's so easy to love
    Angels and fairies
    Come to her from above.
    She knows her tummy brain
    Will warn her of doctors
    Who are not too sane

    ...sorry, @Anonymous at 8:07 set me off. meg, over to you.

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  4. This UnEnding is like trying to get off the phone with my mother.

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  5. I don't know what was in the cookies that were on the table yesterday, but consuming them has made Toby's cleavage line rise alarmingly.

    Olive may be a lot of things, but "easy to love" is not one of them. Has Karen Moy ever met an actual, normal child?

    All right, let's start the guessing. What awful danger awaits Olive at the airport? I'm hoping that she's on the TSA No- Fly list for starters.

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  6. PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!September 15, 2014 at 9:41 AM

    With that pitcher on the table, Mary is gearing up for her ice bucket challenge.

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  7. Uh, Mary? Don't you mean "Grandmotherly pull"? or even Great-grandmotherly"

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  8. Wanders, sure, you'll be in a better place, but will Mary and company? Will they have moved on to a new storyline, finally? That's the real question....

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  9. Karen Moy, you win. I've lost all will to comment.

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  10. I would think any "motherly pull" (?) Mary claims to feel for Olive wouldn't be challenged by the distance between Santa Royale and New York she mentioned in Friday's strip. One of those "out of sight, out of mind" mothers, I guess.

    And yes, I can't take much more of this either.

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  11. Dawn Weston's Evil TwinSeptember 15, 2014 at 10:37 PM

    Wanders, I couldn't disagree more. Maybe I'm the only one, but I LOVE these Mary-Toby chats! Plus, they're really digging in deep on the topic today. AWESOME!

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  12. My mother passed away 9 years ago this fall. One of her favorite treats were Hostess Ding Dongs. (Ding-dong was also what she called flaky people). Anyway, I guess she is on my mind because on Saturdays panel the one thing I noticed was an arrow with the word "Ding" on it pointing at the doctor and his family. What did it mean? Are there Ding-Dongs available for a pre-flight snack? Could it be referring to Olive's parents as ding-dongs? Maybe Uncle Joe just cut off the "Now Boarding" sign in an awkward place. No matter, I think I will buy a box of Ding Dongs to share with my daughters while we tell stories about "Nana."

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  13. Wanders picked a good time to take some time off, thus sparing himself the disgusting spectacle of a drunken Mary babbling about Food Team today. Though I wonder if this could be a lead-in to a story stolen from recent headlines about the Market Basket stores here in New England. An amazing story, worth looking up if you're not familiar with it.

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  14. Thank goodness panel two today explained that Food Team is a grocery store. My first thought was that the competition for best chicken salad appetizer was still going on, or worse, we were in for another cake decorating story!

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  15. Food Team was where Dawn Weston spotted her former heartthrob with his new lady love. Let's hope a horrified Mary spies Dr. Jeff canoodling in the produce aisle with a Jezebel, perhaps someone like Nola Wolvenson. THAT would be a fine plot!

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  16. Food Team was where Dawn Weston spotted her former heartthrob with his new lady love. Let's hope a horrified Mary spies Dr. Jeff canoodling in the produce aisle with a Jezebel, perhaps someone like Nola Wolvenson. THAT would be a fine plot!

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  17. Hey, Yahoonski; me too; I drive past the new Market Basket in Sandwich on the way home from work. You're right - quite the interesting story - which means we'll never see anything like it in this strip.

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  18. Close call for Mary in the OldBatmobile!

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  19. Wednesday

    Tsk tsk, Mary is not wearing her seat belt! Coupled with being distracted by eggs and onions, it's clear she shouldn't be on the road.

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  20. WEDNESDAY

    I hope Olive is already safely home. If not, it's likely her TummyBrain will cause her to make a scene on the plane, and the flight will be diverted to a nearby airport, thanks to her intuition that something Terribly Wrong has happened to Mary.

    A fender bender is a new way to introduce another character to meddle with.

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  21. Eggs and onions....throw in some bacon and gruyere, and she'd have a start on a nice quiche. Nah, Mary would just add Kelk powder and mess it up...if she survives the coming crash.

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  22. I can't believe she let herself get down to only one egg.

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  23. WEDS:
    Eggs for the tummy in my torso.
    Onions for the tummy in my brain.
    No, wait. That was an extra brain in the tummy, not an extra tummy in the brain. Sorry.

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  24. Love it Yahoonski@5:59! Are we really supposed to believe that Mary shops with a mental grocery list and not a written, alphabetized one?

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  25. Let's get ready to grummmmmmmmmble!

    On one side, Mary the Manipulatrix- age 136, tougher than you might imagine, due to many decades of training and an unquenchable desire to prevail. Mary Worth's the favorite in my book. What do you think, Vern?

    Well, Lars, I may just have to agree with you, but I can't discount the youth and stamina of her opponent, Agnes -Aggie the Aggravatrix -Terwilliger. Aggie is only 102, and unlike Mary, Aggie hasn't spent the last 80 years sitting on her a-- drinking coffee and yammering to a yes-woman. Agnes was actually a union organizer in the late 30's, and when Jimmy Hoffa was looking for someone to close the deal with Allied Trucking, he sent in Agnes. Some people thought Aggie had a hand in Jimmy's disappearance, but that's a story for another day.

    Vern, why not tell us that story right now? It's gotta be more entertaining than watching two old biddies get their bicker on.

    Lars, I would love to do just that, but then I'd have to kill you!

    Vern, why don't you just kill me now before I have to watch another minute of this soul-destroying match?

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  26. Meanwhile, back to what passes for reality in the Worthiverse. Is this going to be a PSA about elderly drivers? (Kill me now, Vern.)

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  27. Thursday.

    Have we met this lady before? Perhaps a slimmed down and severely aged Bonnie Johnson? Any suggestions?

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  28. No, I think it's meant to be Elinor Kinley and Uncle Joe's just forgotten what she's supposed to look like. Mary never seems to have any elderly friends...she's outlived them all. Or perhaps it's Marie of the mailboxes, the Tony Bennett doppelgänger.

    (Olive's not easy to like, She always was a weird little tyke... my ipad doesn't allow me to write longer parodies)

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  29. Mary is in need of anger management training. I wonder how she would respond to an Ask Wendy question as to how to respond to a hostile driver after a minor fender bender.

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  30. Gosh, yes, Chinnie- I thought Mary was about go all Bristol Palin on that poor old soul.

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  31. Road rage at Food Team because someone had the audacity to back out of a parking space? Wow, Mary. Just wow. I'd happily back up a few feet & wait for that primo Dan Tanna spot.

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  32. Of all the things I'd like to see in the world, two ole ladies fighting over a parking place is near the top.

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  33. Friday

    After checking Wanders' admirable archives, it seems Hanna is a new character. So, is this a new storyline or a Mary Worth PSA about the importance of regular ophthalmology appointments, or the danger posed by elderly drivers?

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  34. I'm glad to see the Food Team parking lot has a nice park-like area where people can sit and talk after minor fender-benders or near misses.

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  35. Correct me if I'm wrong, but when we first glimpsed Hanna's car, was it not facing in the wrong direction to have suddenly pulled out in front of Mary? And now Mary has suddenly leapt over to the other side of the bench. Either that or the bench has morphed into a loveseat. Ah, the Worthiverse.

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  36. @Vince and everyone who thinks Mary and Hanna are in the Food Team parking lot. They are still at Charterstone, according to Wednesday's strip. As Mary drives toward the parking lot EXIT, she is mentally reviewing her shopping list. This means, she hasn't been in Food Team yet and is exiting Charterstone's parking lot.

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  37. Yahoonski, not unlike a child's drawing of a car, it's not easy to tell whether that was the front or rear of Hanna's.

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  38. So who is Hanna? Other than the hard-hearted vamp of Savannah?

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  39. Oh, the sweet, sweet promise of a new storyline! Not that anything exciting will develop, but still, we finally seem to have gotten over Lil' Almost-Orphan Olive.

    I don’t care if this storyline will deal with giving up one’s drivers license in old age. What I take away from this nascent story is the example Mary set yesterday. From now on, whenever someone almost hits me or cuts me off or doesn’t use a turn signal, for example, I will leave my car in the middle of wherever I happen to be, storm out of the vehicle and confront the unknown driver with fuming rage. This should be interesting since, unlike Mary, I live in the real world where a lot of people are packing heat.

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  40. Also, Mary, maybe driving an asphalt-colored car is not one of your better ideas. It would be much safer to switch to pantsuit-purple or drapery-orange to be more visible. Just a thought.

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  41. No one's mentioned what a nasty way Mary had of addressing Hanna's vision issues. Captain Mary is laying down the law: either you get a new prescription or get off the road! Geez... There are nicer ways to say the same thing.

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  42. Saturday

    Mary has transitioned from meddler to autocratic bully! Poor Hanna faces a genuine dilemma, and we don't see Mary offering to give her a lift even though they live in the same complex and shop at the same market.

    Sure hope Santa Royale has a SCAT bus.

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  43. Thorpnotized, thanks for pointing out that Mary and her friend are still at Charterstone. Now I have to wonder if Hannah--I think that's her name--is still going to drive to wherever she was going before being collared by Mary.

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  44. SUNDAY

    Hanna Dingdon? Dr. Kapuht? Perhaps Moy has recently taken a course in 18th century English Lit, and was impressed with names like Joseph Surface and Lady Sneerwell. After all, she's saddled with a lead character named Mary WORTH!

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  45. But Hanna's maiden name was Lama Lama Lama-Lama, making her (I've got a girl named) Hanna Lama Lama Lama-Lama Dingdon.

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  46. @fauxprof at 7:24 a.m. is on to something. I suspect that KM reads this blog (likely with disdain). Just picture her snarling, "I'll give them something to tee-hee about - a distracted old woman named Dingdon! Be snarky about that, you smarty-pants bunch!"

    Will Amy be the female version of Tommy Beedie?

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  47. Trust me, Ms. Dingdon (Avon calling!), your daughter certainly doesn't want you to move in with her, either. Jeez, why not visit the eye doctor first before resorting to the doomsday scenario?

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  48. Prediction: Hannah is a practicing Wiccan, whose erratic driving will result in her horribly tragic death. Mary will get the devastating news when someone tells her that "Dingdon the witch is dead."

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  49. well here it is...watch out mary!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0287UFq9SA

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  50. Hey, while we're waiting for Wanders to return, isn't anybody going to ask me about my avatar? Well, not being asked wouldn't stop Mary, so I'll go ahead and tell you it's a John Falter painting. Falter did hundreds of Saturday Evening Post covers and tons of paintings for commercial and public service ads. He's considered a commercial artist, but for my money is one of the most accomplished American artists of any stripe. This cigar-smoking pilot looks a bit like my old man, who served, albeit on the ground, in WWII.

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  51. Yahoonski, once I magnified it, I could see that. Honestly, to these old eyes, at original size it looked like a stained glass picture of a saint, complete with halo.

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  52. Hey, nobody asks me about my avatar either!

    It's the cover of an early Kraftwerk album, called Ralf & Florian. It's a picture of Ralf & Florian.

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  53. I like all of the avatars.
    For the record, Yahoonski, I've always thought yours was a picture of a saint, too.
    I really want Fauxprof's and Nance's kittens.
    All of you make my day. I'm not smart enough to write anything clever like you guys, but your stuff is just a joy to read. Love you all!

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  54. WEDNESDAY

    Wow. Mary is heartless.

    Hanna: Here is my sad problem.
    Mary: That's tough. Stop driving; your eyesight is terrible.

    What a smackdown from the woman who just last week (?) saved a life.

    @Anonymous: Thanks for the compliment on my avatar. And I always thought Yahoonski's was a stained glass window of the Virgin Mary!

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  55. You think Hanna's eyesight is bad? How about Uncle Joe's? Is it me or does Hanna have six fingers on her left hand?

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  56. Uh, make that Hanna's right hand. Hey, it's not my fault! If Wanders were here showing today's strip I wouldn't have forgotten which hand it was after leaving Cleveland Comics!

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  57. I wish I really had the kitten I use as my avatar...and I was interpreting Yahoonski's as a stained glass window, too.

    I hope Moy isn't going to introduce Hanna's grandson. Going by the evidence of Emily from Goleta, Frannie at the Bum Boat, and (shudder!) Olive....Moy does not write children well.

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  58. Well, of course Hanna's grandson will appear. This is Mary's big opportunity for a three generation meddle - she's going for the trifecta. My fondest hope is that Mary will accompany Hanna to the eye doctor, and when Hanna is merely given a stronger prescription (here's your new pair of quadrifocals, Mrs. D), Mary will have her eyes checked and be told that she's never to drive again under any circumstances. That's what would happen in a sit-com, anyway.

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  59. Wow! Given the assumptions folks made, I'm glad I explained my avatar. I must admit I didn't recognize Ralf and Florian. I thought it was Peter and Gordon with their hair slicked back!

    I share your fondest hope, Meg, but I'll settle for Hanna just saying: All right already, Mary; I get your point about my peepers. Now p--- off!"

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  60. My avatar is me. Well, my eyes. And my head wrapped in an Hermes scarf, sort of upscale gypsy. Then I Warholized the photo. I'm watching you, people.

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  61. My avatar is me as well, sitting in a cafe in Venice. Cool trip! I invite my fellow MW&M readers to read my blog - you can find it by clicking on my name.

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  62. Is this really the story? I already feel like its descending into a "review past interactions" place, aka oversimplifying complex, interpersonal issues.

    Stop driving! Move closer to someone who can drive you.

    Yeah, it's that simple.


    Meanwhile, several angry Charterstone residents are waiting for Mary and Hannah to get back to their cars and move them, as they left them idling in the parking lot exactly where the near accident occured.

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  63. THURSDAY

    Mary's selfishness is overwhelming.

    Hanna: My problem is really tearing me apart.
    Mary: Let's focus on the part that affects me.

    Maybe KM uses some kind of computer software to write the MW dialog. It's getting worse, and that's from its starting point of Simply Terrible.

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