I think this Ask Wendy column would be more interesting if there was just one little change to context:
Dear Wendy, Does true love exist?
[Signed, Dr. Jeff Cory, M.D.]
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Dear Jeff,
In our chaotic and unpredictable world, that [you] dare to believe in true love is cause for applause. True love doesn't always appear as we expect it. Sometimes the love that exists in our lives is not romantic, but that doesn't make it less real. We can experience real love for a partner... or for a parent... for a child... for a friend.. for a pet... or for God. When we think of true love, we often think of romance, but we are given more options than that. As we look for true love, let's stop and think about the good things and people in our lives. True love exists if we know where to look for it. [I'm sure you'll find it someday.]
[Signed, "Wendy" aka Not Your True Love]
ReplyDeleteHa ha, good stuff Blog Boy!
Dear Frustrated in Santa Royale:
Let's not spoil it.
Wendy
-- Scottie McW.
Remember the "infinite monkey theorem," which states that "a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type a given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare"? It appears that KM is holding a poor monkey captive with a computer and the reverse has happened.
ReplyDeleteI am confused. Does Mary respond directly to the readers questions? Or does she write a response to these vague queries and these responses are published in the SR Pennysaver? Is she paid per word? If she is not paid, why waste all her time with these long drawn out answers?
ReplyDeleteReader: Dear Wendy, Does true love exist?
Wendy: Nope.
Much easier for all!
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled "I Sure Hope The Paper In Which This Claptrap Is Printed Is Recyclable".
ReplyDeleteTrue love,
If look.
Mary's great: True Love? Go get yourself a dog . . . Thanks.
ReplyDeleteOh, Karen, can you possibly be more pedantic? True love was a nice romantic concept until you got a hold of it.
ReplyDeleteMary has replaced her left ear with a circular communication device with the Mother ship.
ReplyDeleteWow Wanders--read the strip, and you beat me to it. Apparently Mary needs some reading glasses to see true love.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of a time when New York Magazine, rather than printing synopses of long-running Broadway shows (‘a matchmaker in Yonkers finds love for herself’, ‘a milkman in czarist Russian tries to find husbands for his daughters’, ‘a traveling salesman swindles small-town Iowans’) printed chapters of James Joyce’s ‘Ulysses’ instead. Perhaps they are still doing it.
ReplyDeleteSaturday: please make it stop. Soon.
ReplyDeleteMay had been trying so long that she's growing a beard.
Sunday: OMG, one letter is turning into War and Peace! I'm surprised that they haven't cancelled the Dear Wendy column and put Soduko in it's place. It's gotten to the point that Mary is rambling. I suspect she's getting dementia. I also suspect KM has no idea what to do next and is having Mary do this thesis until she can think of a (really bad) idea for Wilbur, Iris Pedro and Fabiana.
ReplyDeleteWill the tedium and platitudinous meandering never end? I’ve sat through livelier sermons, more riveting power-point presentations. Let’s get back to Wilbur and his poor life choices—if those are even really happening.
ReplyDeleteI’ve got a theory about Wilbur. He purports to be in Antarctica in December, looking at the black, starry night sky. But December is summertime in Antarctica with nearly 24-hour daylight. He claims to be at the beach in Bogota, yet Bogota is in a mountainous and landlocked part of Colombia. Add to that the unlikely fantasy of a Hot Girlfriend, and I suspect Wilbur has spent the past year holed up in a small motel outside of Pasadena, eating takeout and spinning out tall tales.
Sunday
ReplyDeleteOur only hope is that Mary topples over from her back-breaking position, knocks her cup of whatever onto the laptop, and destroys it.
faux prof:
ReplyDeleteYou think he got as far as Pasadena? I’m guessing Goleta.