Mary Worth 3019

Now you can't tell me that after 20 years of dating, Mary was unaware of Jeff's cat allergy. I mean, we all figured it out in about five seconds. We're on to you, Mary, and all I can say is, "Well played."

Mary Worth 3018

Roast lamb and dander. Your cat allergy is going to love my new friend!

Mary Worth 3017

Please tell me that's the Charterstone Reader's edition of Outlander - with the sex scenes tastefully removed.

Mary Worth 3016

Libby the Cat: The first believable Mary Worth character of the Karen Moy era!

Mary Worth 3015

Well, it looks like it is time for Mary to call the animal shelter about returning her cat.

Mary Worth 3014

"You have absolutely no experience with cats? You sound like the perfect person to foster Libby!"

Mary Worth 3013

"I'll wear an eye patch so she doesn't feel self-conscious."

Mary Worth 3012

"No, we need your help putting her down. You seem to have the right temperament for it."

Mary Worth 3011

"This is Claudia Jones. We're hoping you can manipulate more of your friends into adopting pets from us."

I'm really curious about why this staffer at the animal shelter is calling Mary at home. In fact, how did she even get her phone number?

Mary Worth 3010

I guess the take away from all of this is you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Sometimes you just have to wait for the old dog to die.

Mary Worth 3009

I'm struggling to understand why Saul isn't grumpy anymore. The only thing different is that instead of a bowtie-wearing chihuahua, he owns a bowtie-wearing dachshund. So unless Tommy is dealing again to the lonely residents of Charterstone, I can't figure it out.

Mary Worth 3008

"I just made a suggestion... that you come with me to buy tires. And then, once I had you trapped inside a moving vehicle, I drove you to the animal shelter. The trick was to keep my car moving fast enough that you couldn't jump out."

Mary Worth 3007

It's no coincidence that I, too, have been going through a dark time since I first met Bella, and I thought Greta was going to save me by bringing this story to an unsatisfying but abrupt conclusion. But, no, Moy has found a way to drag this out forever. I feel like I've joined Bella in doggy hell.

Mary Worth 3006

I'm sorry for such erratic posting lately. I've been hiding in my shell. It's just that this story, after ten years of commenting on Mary Worth, has defeated me. I can't even pretend to like it. It is so dull that even I don't care. I'd rather shop for tires than post about this story, but I'm afraid I'd come home with a dog. I do see that the victory lap has started, and so there is hope.

Mary Worth 3005

"That's why I'm taking you back to your old owner - because when you shut out the bad you shut out the good. Mary taught me that. If you stop watching bad movies, you can't watch good movies. If you break up with a bad boyfriend, you can't have a good boyfriend, and if you stop reading Mary Worth, you can't read Doonesbury, or Calvin and Hobbes."

Mary Worth 3004

June Brigman is a genius, invoking such a Hitchcockian viewpoint to capture the horror of Greta's new life.

Mary Worth 3003

So now I'm confused. Is Mary God in this story, or is Greta?

Mary Worth 3002

Greta may have chosen Saul, but the bow tie chose Greta.

Mary Worth 3001

"Yes, Mary, thank you for this. Now we're going to take another unexpected detour to the JCC Older Singles luncheon where I'm determined to find you a husband. You'll thank me later."