Monday, December 9, 2019

Mary Worth 3246

"Obi-Wan Kenobi, teach me how to use alcohol to numb my feelings and wash away my sorrows. I am your padowan."

12 comments:

  1. Oh boy. Wilbur's eyes don't seem to be pointing in quite the same direction and his nose looks rather anxious to sidle out from in between them before they get into a serious disagreement. By the look of things, Wilbur has already had a few snootfuls of his "usual Scotch" (you know, the purple kind) before deciding to go out and make a drunken fool of himself in public again.

    This ought to be a good week. Happy Monday, everyone.

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  2. Zak will tell Wilbur about Iris leaving him. Wilbur will run out of the bar, grab his boombox and play the Pina Colada song outside Iris' window in the rain. However, Iris' apt at Charterstone is close to Estelle's apt and they both reject Wilbur. After getting drunk again and singing in the shower, Wilbur decides to take another research assignment in a climate where he can wear his Speedo and meets a woman even dumber than Iris who plays the piano, likes boring Netflix documentaries and singing ridiculous songs. Like Dawn, Wilbur decides to do a long distance relationship and thankfully is gone from Charterstone a lot which reduces the noise level, especially in the rain. Even Mary is tired of Iris' whining and pelts muffins on her until she goes to another doctor and is diagnosed with a thyroid problem even Dr. Google could diagnose. Iris makes up with Zak and moves back in with him. As for Estelle, she adopts another six cats and, when not going on disastrous Silver Dater dates, spends her evenings singing to them at the piano. End of story, let's move on to something new.

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  3. This doesn't look like the typical place that tech millionaires hang out in. I'm fascinated by the bottle the guy in p. 1 is holding, which looks like a mini champagne bottle.

    So Wilbur and Zak will bond over booze and their joint confusion about Iris/Irish. By Thursday they'll break into a duet of Lerner and Loewe's "Why Can't a Woman Be More Like a Man?" and on Friday they'll embark on gamboling on a hillside, followed by kite flying.

    Next week: Iris moves back to Charterstone, runs into Mary immediately, and describes her menopausal distress. Mary immediately offers Iris a dozen wild yam-ginseng muffins that she just happens to have in her freezer.

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  4. OMG Wanders was going to say the same thing as your secret message!

    My followup line: "Two idiots walk into a bar..."

    @KitrKat, this place is what my ex-husband would call an "old men's bar". I too expected Zak to be hanging out in a more ritzy bar like a nightclub.

    I can wait for Wilboor to get pie faced drunk again and calling Zak "Yak boy". Like MDMaryTed said, when he hears Irish broke up with Yak, he'll be like the little boy outside Scrooge's window on Christmas day, yelling "WHOOSH" as he leaves to drunkenly knock on Iris'door. When he sees the Oompa Loompa that Iris has become, he will say "Sorry, wrong apartment and stagger to get his boombox for another serenade session with Estelle. Perhaps Zak can join him.

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    Replies
    1. I certainly would expect Zak to be drinking draft beer at a craft brewery rather than long necks at a local bar. Where was this pub when Wilbur was singing in the shower?

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  5. I don't like where this is going at all. I don't like it one bit.

    Even in the best-case scenario -- Wilbur and Zak get roaring drunk, hug it out, and commiserate with each other about the fickleness of women in general and Irish in particular -- is not something I'm anxious to see.

    Besides, Zak doesn't seem like a brooding-over-a-beer-at-a-corner-bar type.

    I wonder if everyone there knows Wilbur's name.

    And wishes they didn't.

    Finally, that's another hilarious secret message, Wanders. And another Bogie reference that would be completely lost on Zak.

    -- Scottie McW.


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  6. Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

    "Wilbur: What To Have When You're Having More Than One".

    Women...
    Mr. Lucky!
    You're scotch!
    Wilbur!

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  7. I'm hoping Estelle shows up at the bar. Mr. 1970s mustache man looks perfect for her.

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  8. Nance! Thanks for reminding me what we've been missing in your absence. A big Monday laugh for me.

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  9. So much more potential with Iris having been pregnant instead.

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  10. The young folks do like to hit those dive bars also. There's a certain cachet to it.

    So, Wilboor just happens to show up at the bar when Zak is there. Coincidence? I think not. I think Wilbur has once again been stalking Iris, and was standing outside their apartment and heard Iris telling Zak she needed more space. Wilbur then decided to follow Zak, so that he could "console" Zak by convincing him that Iris isn't for him, he should get someone his own age, etc., etc. That's just the short of creepy thing he would do.

    Nance, it is so good to have you back!!

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  11. Looks like Wilboor has transferred all his excess flab to Irish. Meanwhile, why is this strip even called Mary Worth anymore? KM is working off something weird with Wilburp and Dim Dawn and their creepy couplings.

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