I'm starting to get really annoyed! What makes Cal think he's qualified to give life advice to anyone? No matter how excellent the advice may be, he lacks the necessary credentials!
Gee, I never realized that whatever I’m looking at with binoculars displays in the bottom of the glasses. How can I confirm this? If I turn them around and look at the bottom…well, you get the picture…hmm….
I have a feeling that Toby has worst days on a regular basis.
Not only does Mary have Helen Moss as a snoop rival, Cal is dispensing nonsensical advice to Toby, Can her muffins fight off this two-pronged threat?
Given that Cal gives such vapid advice, is it possible he is a long lost grandson of Mary's who inherited the gene that causes him to say such semi-nonsensical things?
Cal: "If you're feeling blue, just ignore it and focus on good things!"
Awkwardness Simulation Android Model T0B-E : NEW DIRECTIVE RECEIVED: IGN0RE BLUE. F0CUS ON G00D TH|NG$ (accessing Database of Good and Evil, please wait..) D0GS R G00D GRAM L|KED C0L0RS (advanced AI deductive inference model loading, please wait..) GRAM L|KED C0L0RS -> C0L0RS R G00D ERR0R DETECTED.. BLUE = C0L0R.. BLUE = BAD.. MUST IGN0RE BLUE.. **FATAL CRASH ERR0R** (Engaging apocalpyse mode. Terminator eye laser defence systems booting, please wait..)
Meanwhile, back at Mary’s apartment, Toby’s arrival has created somewhat of a sensation among the the members of the MOBC.
Deputy Crone Hanna Dingdon Hastings: “Oh, you’re that nice Mrs. C (whose big-mouthed husband once road-raged me in the parking lot)! My grandson Gordy-Cal says you’re the best teacher ever, just like a mom to him.” Toby: “Homina homina homina…”
High Exalted Biddie Crone Mary Worth: “I’m thrilled to introduce everyone to my bestie Toby Cameron!” Toby: “I brought gin for everyone!”
MOBC as one: ‘YAAAAAAAY!’
Helena Handbasket: “Never mind. I’ll see myself out.”
Wow! My binocular expectations have been far exceeded by Friday and today's illustrations. Imagining the Title 9 complaint Ms. Binoculars is about to make, I hear, "What is your evidence?" "I surveilled the suspects with my ornithologically correct glasses. Luckily the glasses have a recording device so I can report how close together the suspects were sitting. In fact, the microphone in my binocs picked up the innocent student saying, "Gee Ms. C, you look so down, I just want to give you a hug" and then Ms. Cameron flinging her arms around him. Inappropriate touching at its finest."
Toby: "Yes, there are good days, Cal. I forgot that fact because there hasn't been a pool party at my condo complex in years. I used to sit by the pool for hours drinking gin with my friend, Margo. Margo? No; Maria; no; Mary? Yes, that's right, Mary! Sorry, Val. Umm, Sal? Oopsie... Maybe I shouldn't have brought my little bottle of anti-depressant up here to the hill with me. Want a sip? Oh no, maybe not. How old are you anyway, Sal? Pal? Like in dogs? Oh. You made me think about dogs. Dogs are good, I think, anyway. But our complex does not allow them. Did I tell you about my friend, Margo; no wait... Mary; yes, that's it. It was so much fun watching her poison this old guy's dog, Cal, no... Caul? Saul? No, ha ha; that's you, right? Sal? Bal? No; Bell? No, that wasn't it either. Anyway, with Maria's salmonella squares, that vicious little mutt who'd been smuggled in by the likes of... Oh, I can't remember. Pal? Saul? I don't suppose you've brought a pint with you. I'm out."
Don't be shy! I'd love to hear what you have to say about Mary Worth. Just keep it clean, that's all I ask. This is a FAMILY FRIENDLY blog. I don't want to moderate comments, but I will if I have to.
Gee, I never realized that whatever I’m looking at with binoculars displays in the bottom of the glasses. How can I confirm this? If I turn them around and look at the bottom…well, you get the picture…hmm….
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling that Toby has worst days on a regular basis.
Not only does Mary have Helen Moss as a snoop rival, Cal is dispensing nonsensical advice to Toby, Can her muffins fight off this two-pronged threat?
just wondering what was her incentive was to bring binoculars to work. or is she the bird watching teacher ?
ReplyDeleteGiven that Cal gives such vapid advice, is it possible he is a long lost grandson of Mary's who inherited the gene that causes him to say such semi-nonsensical things?
ReplyDeleteCal: "If you're feeling blue, just ignore it and focus on good things!"
ReplyDeleteAwkwardness Simulation Android Model T0B-E :
NEW DIRECTIVE RECEIVED: IGN0RE BLUE. F0CUS ON G00D TH|NG$
(accessing Database of Good and Evil, please wait..)
D0GS R G00D
GRAM L|KED C0L0RS
(advanced AI deductive inference model loading, please wait..)
GRAM L|KED C0L0RS -> C0L0RS R G00D
ERR0R DETECTED.. BLUE = C0L0R.. BLUE = BAD.. MUST IGN0RE BLUE.. **FATAL CRASH ERR0R**
(Engaging apocalpyse mode. Terminator eye laser defence systems booting, please wait..)
Alas, Toby's Blue Period has come to an end.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, back at Mary’s apartment, Toby’s arrival has created somewhat of a sensation among the the members of the MOBC.
ReplyDeleteDeputy Crone Hanna Dingdon Hastings: “Oh, you’re that nice Mrs. C (whose big-mouthed husband once road-raged me in the parking lot)! My grandson Gordy-Cal says you’re the best teacher ever, just like a mom to him.” Toby: “Homina homina homina…”
High Exalted Biddie Crone Mary Worth: “I’m thrilled to introduce everyone to my bestie Toby Cameron!” Toby: “I brought gin for everyone!”
MOBC as one: ‘YAAAAAAAY!’
Helena Handbasket: “Never mind. I’ll see myself out.”
Wow! My binocular expectations have been far exceeded by Friday and today's illustrations. Imagining the Title 9 complaint Ms. Binoculars is about to make, I hear, "What is your evidence?" "I surveilled the suspects with my ornithologically correct glasses. Luckily the glasses have a recording device so I can report how close together the suspects were sitting. In fact, the microphone in my binocs picked up the innocent student saying, "Gee Ms. C, you look so down, I just want to give you a hug" and then Ms. Cameron flinging her arms around him. Inappropriate touching at its finest."
ReplyDeleteToby: "Yes, there are good days, Cal. I forgot that fact because there hasn't been a pool party at my condo complex in years. I used to sit by the pool for hours drinking gin with my friend, Margo. Margo? No; Maria; no; Mary? Yes, that's right, Mary! Sorry, Val. Umm, Sal? Oopsie... Maybe I shouldn't have brought my little bottle of anti-depressant up here to the hill with me. Want a sip? Oh no, maybe not. How old are you anyway, Sal? Pal? Like in dogs? Oh. You made me think about dogs. Dogs are good, I think, anyway. But our complex does not allow them. Did I tell you about my friend, Margo; no wait... Mary; yes, that's it. It was so much fun watching her poison this old guy's dog, Cal, no... Caul? Saul? No, ha ha; that's you, right? Sal? Bal? No; Bell? No, that wasn't it either. Anyway, with Maria's salmonella squares, that vicious little mutt who'd been smuggled in by the likes of... Oh, I can't remember. Pal? Saul? I don't suppose you've brought a pint with you. I'm out."
ReplyDeleteHelenClark
Helen (not Moss) Clark