Friday, October 28, 2022

Mary Worth 4071

In addition to expressing your gratitude, you might also want to repent of all that fornicating you and Iris presumably have been doing.

16 comments:

  1. Regarding your secret message, Wanders, the lovebird were sitting on a large bed while assembling their hiking wardrobes.

    Today is KM’s version of “There are no atheists in foxholes.” Since Iris is telling the Lord that Zak is the love of her life, expect a wedding after Iris hauls Zak up as that preposterously flimsy piece of vegetation falls out.

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  2. P.S. Oh and can you save my phone too big guy, I just bought it.

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  3. I'm just catching up now. I like how Zak guilts Iris a couple of days ago with that whole adrenaline b.s. "If I die, it's your fault."

    Is it a mark of a good strip that I want to see so many characters killed off? At least I care.

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  4. Welcome back everyone to another magical evening at Cantando. I do hope you're all enjoying the white rice. Our gravy chef is taking a personal day, but please take as many trips to the buffet as you need.

    And now, as the after-dinner musical amenity you've all been waiting for, please welcome deceased rock superstar Tom Petty in concert with everyone's favorite cross-generational and cross-linguistic cover band, Maggio Nollaig!


    Free Fallin' (Maggio Nollaig cover version)

    He's a good boy, needs a substitute mama
    Loves white rice, and hamburger gravy too
    He's a good boy, who's crazy 'bout marriage
    Loves His Nan, and his cougar girlfriend too

    And it's an epic fail, hiking out of wedlock
    Up an unmarked trail, with a slippery part
    And I'm a bad girl, cause I can't even hoist him up a wet rock
    I'm a bad girl for breakin' his heart

    (And limbs, and other internal organs!) NOW I'M FREEE
    Free fallin'
    Yeah, I'm free-hee-hee,
    Free fallin'

    Now all the meddlers takin victory laps round Charterstone
    Move west down recycled boulevards
    And all the good boys are havin Jared splint their collarbone
    And the bad girls are home with broken hearts

    NOW I'M FREEE
    I'm free fallin'
    Yeah, I'm free
    Free fallin'

    I wanna glide down over Pickadee Falls and
    I wanna write her name in the sky
    I'm gonna free fall to an absurd resort island
    Gonna leave this strip for awhile

    NOW I'M FREEE
    (Free fallin', Ima free fallin', Ima)
    Free fallin'
    (Free fallin', Ima free fallin', Ima)
    Yeah, I'm freeee...
    [reprise chorus over next 4 weeks of Sunday strips]

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  5. Magnificent work, Ian Cameron, PhD!

    Grumpy

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  6. zak ill marry you if you can do two jumping jacks says clever iris

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  7. God helps those who help themselves by using both of the arms he gave them.

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  8. He survives and Iris marries him, end of story,

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  9. Too bad you dropped your phone, Zak. You could have called Jim from the Hiking Club. He probably has some experience with this kind of predicament.

    HelenClark

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  10. Sorry, Zak, "hands up" are for closers. Iris is still single last I checked.

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  11. Dear God, please let this scenario end already.

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  12. Now is the moment for the omnipotent super-hero God-Man to fly to the rescue. Except Mary Worth and Tom the Dancing Bug never appear in the same newspapers or on the same websites.

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  13. Suddenly other hikers appear!
    It’s LeBron James and Shaquille O’Neal.

    Or a tall, muscular, brawny couple, totally nude and carrying yoga mats.

    Or Estelle and Libby (grab Libby’s tail, Zak, and I’ll pull you up!)

    Or drunk Wilbur, singing “Pick Me Up on Your Way Down”

    Or Mr. Allora, with a rope, a pulley, and a stepladder.

    Or Mary with a fresh batch of spinach muffins

    Or Ian, with a caber (Grah hold of the caber, Zak, and Ah’ll have ye up in a jiffy, but first Ah’ll hae a wee drinkie)

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  14. Ian: Did Ah say ‘a jiffy’? Ah meant a Glasgow minute!

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  15. Cal called and said he’s really going to be torqued off if you tear the checkered shirt you borrowed.

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