A Mary Worth Monologue
by Karen Moy
SETTING: A hospital room. Scott Hewlett lies dying of gunshot wounds, his head wrapped in a tourniquet, his arm in a sling. A Band-Aid brand bandage adheres quietly to his neck. State-of-the-art stereo equipment circles silently around the room. Jeff Corey, M.D., sits at Scott's bedside.
JEFF: Adrian told me you proposed! If your father were alive, he would give you both his blessing! You have mine. I'm glad you came into my daughter's life... please stay. You've made Adrian very happy. She loves you, and she deserves a partner like you... moral, kind, smart... Someone who appreciates her for who she is. You have so much to live for, Scott... You and Adrian have a beautiful future ahead of you! I'm so glad you came into my daughter's life! You brought her back to herself! She couldn't have picked a better partner. (He quietly fondles Scott's pinkie.) PLEASE... STAY.
Either the bed controls are attached to Scott's pinkie, or the bed, of its own inanimate accord, has given Jeff a standing ovation for that rousing soliloquy.
ReplyDeleteIs that why Jeff is holding Scott's hand so strangely?
ReplyDeleteI think Jeff is actually telling Scott to stay in the coma. "Please, stay ... while I leave the room. No, don't try to follow me. I've already raised the bed so you can see me leave better."
I was also wondering what Jeff is doing with Scott's hand. He is handling the hand so delicately, like he is in love with Scott too. creepy, anyway.
ReplyDeleteIf he wants Scott to "stay", then why did he remove the canula from his nose??? It's clearly missing and Dr. Jeff is the only person who has been there! I would think oxygen would help an ICU patient heal, but what do I know--I'm not a doctor.
ReplyDeleteAnd that pinkie fondling moment...just...yeah.
Jeff might be carefully removing the life-giving oxygen in today's second panel; why wouldn't he be dislodging the IV in the sixth? (And I suspect he drank most of Scott's water.) He might be thinking...
ReplyDelete"You and Adrian have a beautiful future FULL OF RISKS."
"Sure you're moral, kind, and smart, but look at you now! Weak, wimpy. ...Your father was a HERO, you know."
"ADRIAN IS DEVASTATED because of you!"
"Stay in a coma, Scott. Stay."
Duckdg, you are right about the water! I hadn't noticed that. (...so silly of Adrian to think a comatose patient could just reach over and sip through a straw! And with his arm in a sling at that)
ReplyDeleteWell, now, this story is taking QUITE the sinister turn, yes? I do hope Mary and A. are enjoying their coffee in the cafeteria.
"State-of-the-art stereo equipment circles silently around the room."
ReplyDeleteOkay, I laughed at this stage direction. Adds the requisite insanity required to bring any stage production of Mary Worth to life!
Tomorrow: a week in the cafeteria...go for the Jello, Mary, I hear it's good here.
ReplyDeleteI've been reading those words all week, but I didn't realize how absurdly hilarious they were when spoken consecutively.Karen Moy is truly funnier than any of us.
ReplyDeleteScott actually came out of his coma some time ago. He's just hoping that if he plays possum long enough Jeff will finally run out of dialogue and leave.
ReplyDeleteJeff Cory,"Master Thespian!"lol
ReplyDelete