"I really just don't know how long I'll be here... I could decide to fly to Vietnam tomorrow, or a week from now, or maybe even in 12 years. There's just no saying what you'll do when you're a spontaneous international traveler with an unrestricted visa and a golden pass on [Product Placement Here] Airlines."
Well, in the same two months it took me to read "Dawn Overcomes her Internet Obsession by Flying a Kite," I also read "David Copperfield" by Charles Dickens - I just finished it last night. Same length of time, but "David Copperfield" had about three billion more words. And was about three billion times better as well. GASP! I actually said something critical about Mary Worth? Yes. While I may be the strip's biggest fan, even I can see that this story was just not up to the normal, stellar level of other stories such as "Kurt and Wilbur go Fishing," and "Bonnie Goes Shopping." However, the one good thing that I can say about the "Dawn's Kite Addiction" story is that, if you count the little preface in January about whether or not Mary would like to use a Kindle, it did convince me to buy a Kindle, which is what I read "David Copperfield" on. So in a way, "Dawn Learns to Paint Kites" will be forever linked in my mind with the great literature of Charles Dickens.
Perhaps Jeff will explain to Dawn's old boyfriend, Dr. Drew Corey, M.D., that he can subscribe to his Men's Workout comic book on a Kindle. Surely Drew is no Luddite.
Worried for a while? Is that all it was? I thought it was forever.
Mary is bound and determined to find out why it is Dawn has more free time. Of course, now that Dawn is offline, she won't be able to complete half her assignments at Local University, forcing her to drop out and giving her even MORE free time. Maybe she'll be able to do more reading once she moves the sectional away from the bookshelf.
All this talk about art reminds me that last week Mrs. Wanders and I went to see the Blinky Palermo exhibition at the Smithsonian Hirshhorn Museum of Modern Art. Boy! Talk about "honed over the centuries..."
I must admit I didn't recognize Toby at first and thought Mary Worth was making a surprise pie delivery to Dawn's friend Cathy. However, I was quickly overjoyed to learn that Dawn would be taking painting lessons from Toby during her Saturday breaks from her online accounts.
And count me in, too! This is definitely going viral! In fact, I'm going to post this on Facebook! But not on Saturday because that would be hypocritical. Never underestimate the power and influence of this comic strip. Remember when the world stopped falling for phishing scams? Or the online dating industry tanked? 
My, my, my, how these young people speak these days. One can barely understand what they're saying with all their hipster non-specific adjectives, and über-cool, yet unnecessarily redundant, exposition.
Classic addict denial going on here. Her assurance that she's cured is so over the top that it won't be more than 24 hours before Dawn is online again! 24 hours! I mean only an addict would act like this, pretending everything is fine when she has no reason on earth to even think she's been cured. I'm sure Wilbur is on red alert. Tough love, Wilbur. Tough love. The Internet drove Dawn to the brink of absolute insanity. Even you aren't so dim as to think you've magically cured your daughter with your magic kite. 
Because Dawn's addiction is so deep, she isn't quite ready to admit that frolicking and flying kites with Wilbur is actually better than endlessly staring at her texting machine. But kite flying is one of the best cures for online addiction out there. Just like buying someone a honeymoon in Bora Bora cures alcoholism, and a good house cleaning with Mary Worth solves a shopping compulsion.
Oh my gosh! Mary Worth is REAL??? I had no idea. This is horrible. Just horrible! Maybe I should just go fly a kite in virtual mode!
Whew! What a relief. I thought there might be a dead body in the trunk. Instead, they're simply going to build a wind turbine to power Dawn's texting machine.
I find that the best way to lose weight is to sit in my car and adjust the seat so that my huge gut is pressed through the steering wheel like Play-Dough. Yes, it obstructs my ability to steer the car, but that's what makes it so motivating.
Dawn, a broken woman, finally gives in to her father's desperate pleas for daddy-daughter time. 
I know how Dawn feels. I can't stay present in anyone's company either! I keep trying to tell them about the current wonderful Mary Worth story, and they just sneer at me and walk away. Fortunately, I have my pictures and briefcase to keep me company late at night.
I'd be a little concerned if Dawn was calling the childhood friend of Mary Worth, but because of the shortage of WASP-worthy names, Cathy is also Dawn's classmate at Local U, last referred to in 2004. She's the only person Dawn has left to turn to, the only person not yet destroyed by Twitter. At two a.m., Dawn sent out a tweet for help, but everyone replied "@Dawn: Just give in to it. There is no escape."
Oh my gosh, she's using a MAC at one o'clock in the afternoon! Is there no limit to her obsession? I feel so confused inside right now.
How'd that work out for him, Iris? As many readers pointed out yesterday, Tommy ended up mopping floors in prison for selling marijuana and using drug related words like "leaf" and "gram." Perhaps Tommy wouldn't have strayed so far if you had meddled just a bit more in your son's life.
