Mary Worth 3034

Toby's backless dress vs. Professor Quaker Oats' puffy shirt and grey wool socks. And it is Ian who is getting hit on at work. Does anyone else find this story a little backwards?

Mary Worth 3033

I didn't notice this before, but Brony has a serious case of mange that he's trying to cover with a combover. Those Santa Ana winds can be a real social buzzkill.

Mary Worth 3032

This entire story just became about the My Little Pony guy. In fact, the entire meaning of life just became about the My Little Pony guy.

Mary Worth 3031

I'm sorry that I missed Mary's Christmas dinner, but it is nice to know that Dawn returned from Italy and did not appear to be pregnant. I'm also very happy for Jannie. Not all college professors are so excellent, and while his RateMyProfessor.com reviews are definitely mixed, he seems to strike a chord with the brighter students.

I hope everyone had a happy holiday. Our oldest got married on Saturday, and then with family around for Christmas, I've been a little busy. It may delay the Worthy Awards, but they will happen!

My best wishes to you for a very happy New Year!

Mary Worth 3030

Now Estelle, Saul, AND Ian have pets.

Mary Worth 3029

I'm so happy that we get a story where Mary Worth teaches Toby how to spice up her marriage. Karen Moy's special Christmas gift to all of us. Thank you.

Mary Worth 3028

Things got a little hot and heavy on the boat ride with Jeff, and I'm just relieved to see that Mary will be spending the night with her little blue cat toy.

Mary Worth 3028

If you love her so much, Jeff, why don't you kiss her? Oh... wait. You are kissing her... Well, try not to get too carried away.

Mary Worth 3026

Not as relieved as I am to see this pet adoption PSA finally setting on the horizon. I feel like I learned a lot about buying tires.

Mary Worth 3025

Just for laughs, I ran today's Worthy-Speak through Google translator into Korean:

Jeff: 고양이 알레르기를 수락 해 주셔서 감사합니다. 네가 리비를 좋아한다는 걸 알아.
Mary: 그녀는 지금 에스텔과 함께 있고 모든 당사자는 행복합니다.

To get a sense of how much Google Translate struggles with Worthy-Speak, I then translated it into English.

Jeff: Thank you for accepting allergies to cats. I know you like Libby.
Mary: She is now with Estelle and all parties are happy.

Color me impressed.

Mary Worth 3024

I was adopted the same way. My foster parents gave me to the lady down the hall.

Mary Worth 3023

As Myster Wynter should have taught you, Mary, no pet lives forever. Libby won't find her forever home until you send her over the Rainbow Bridge.

Mary Worth 3022

"Yeah, yeah... you miss Jimmy. Of course you do. SAY! Do you like CATS?"

Mary Worth 3021

I'm having a little trouble knowing how to answer Libby's question. It really all depends on her tone. If she's asking "Meow?" as in a sincere "I'm not?" then the answer is a simple, "No, you are not." But if she's defiant in her tone, such as "Why not?" then Mary will need to explain about the bacteria on Libby's paws lingering from her recent litter box visit, and how cats should never walk on food preparation surfaces. Knowing Libby, I don't think she's going to like that answer at all.

Mary Worth 3020

"I can't tell Jeff to stay away. Heaven knows I've tried."

Sometimes this blog writes itself.

Actually, it doesn't write itself, as you've no doubt noticed that I've missed posting on quite a few days. We hosted Thanksgiving this year, work has gotten very busy, and my oldest daughter is getting married later this month... so the Wanders family has been a little bit busy. I do intend to get the Worthy Award nominations posted by Christmas, and after that, my life should be back to normal in January just in time to host the Awards Ceremony. Thanks to everyone who keeps this blog going, even when I'm not around. So while this blog doesn't write itself, I do feel that it is written by all of us; not just me. Thanks everyone, and happy holidays!

Mary Worth 3019

Now you can't tell me that after 20 years of dating, Mary was unaware of Jeff's cat allergy. I mean, we all figured it out in about five seconds. We're on to you, Mary, and all I can say is, "Well played."

Mary Worth 3018

Roast lamb and dander. Your cat allergy is going to love my new friend!

Mary Worth 3017

Please tell me that's the Charterstone Reader's edition of Outlander - with the sex scenes tastefully removed.

Mary Worth 3016

Libby the Cat: The first believable Mary Worth character of the Karen Moy era!

Mary Worth 3015

Well, it looks like it is time for Mary to call the animal shelter about returning her cat.

Mary Worth 3014

"You have absolutely no experience with cats? You sound like the perfect person to foster Libby!"

Mary Worth 3013

"I'll wear an eye patch so she doesn't feel self-conscious."

Mary Worth 3012

"No, we need your help putting her down. You seem to have the right temperament for it."

Mary Worth 3011

"This is Claudia Jones. We're hoping you can manipulate more of your friends into adopting pets from us."

I'm really curious about why this staffer at the animal shelter is calling Mary at home. In fact, how did she even get her phone number?

Mary Worth 3010

I guess the take away from all of this is you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Sometimes you just have to wait for the old dog to die.

Mary Worth 3009

I'm struggling to understand why Saul isn't grumpy anymore. The only thing different is that instead of a bowtie-wearing chihuahua, he owns a bowtie-wearing dachshund. So unless Tommy is dealing again to the lonely residents of Charterstone, I can't figure it out.

Mary Worth 3008

"I just made a suggestion... that you come with me to buy tires. And then, once I had you trapped inside a moving vehicle, I drove you to the animal shelter. The trick was to keep my car moving fast enough that you couldn't jump out."

Mary Worth 3007

It's no coincidence that I, too, have been going through a dark time since I first met Bella, and I thought Greta was going to save me by bringing this story to an unsatisfying but abrupt conclusion. But, no, Moy has found a way to drag this out forever. I feel like I've joined Bella in doggy hell.

Mary Worth 3006

I'm sorry for such erratic posting lately. I've been hiding in my shell. It's just that this story, after ten years of commenting on Mary Worth, has defeated me. I can't even pretend to like it. It is so dull that even I don't care. I'd rather shop for tires than post about this story, but I'm afraid I'd come home with a dog. I do see that the victory lap has started, and so there is hope.

Mary Worth 3005

"That's why I'm taking you back to your old owner - because when you shut out the bad you shut out the good. Mary taught me that. If you stop watching bad movies, you can't watch good movies. If you break up with a bad boyfriend, you can't have a good boyfriend, and if you stop reading Mary Worth, you can't read Doonesbury, or Calvin and Hobbes."

Mary Worth 3004

June Brigman is a genius, invoking such a Hitchcockian viewpoint to capture the horror of Greta's new life.

Mary Worth 3003

So now I'm confused. Is Mary God in this story, or is Greta?

Mary Worth 3002

Greta may have chosen Saul, but the bow tie chose Greta.

Mary Worth 3001

"Yes, Mary, thank you for this. Now we're going to take another unexpected detour to the JCC Older Singles luncheon where I'm determined to find you a husband. You'll thank me later."

Mary Worth 3000

I expected some sort of congratulations from Karen Moy for my 3,000th Mary Worth post, so I visited her blog, but this was all I found: A one-sentence post with a scan of her own comic that wasn't even straight. It makes me feel a little unappreciated, frankly.

Mary Worth 2999

Fido and Spot also chose you Myster Wynter. I guess you'll be taking those two home as well. And there are actually 37 other dogs in tiny cages all choosing you at this exact moment. Enjoy!

Mary Worth 2998

Mary Worth 2997

If "Providence" is code for "God," and "God" is code for "Mary Worth," then, yes, Providence indeed.

Mary Worth 2996

Saul married the girl that his parents picked out for him, and now he's going to adopt the dog that Mary picked out for him. But doesn't Greta have a say in this? She's a dog, not a wife.

Mary Worth 2995

Humane Society Volunteer: "We've had her locked up in this tiny cage with no bedding for almost a year. We even feed her twice a week. But still, not a word... We just can't understand it."

Saul: "Have you tried making her wear a ridiculous bow tie?"

Mary Worth 2994

Saul knows what it's like to be taken somewhere against your will.

Mary Worth 2993

"There are two types of people we don't let take pets. And the two of you are both types."

Mary Worth 2992

Actually, Saul, they only have 72 hours. But I'm sure you and Mary can cheer them up!

Mary Worth 2991

If I felt badly for Saul when his dog died, it doesn't compare to how badly I feel for him now. If there's a special place in hell for chihuahua's, Bella is still better off than Saul is right now at this moment with this tormenter.

Mary Worth 2990

Has Mary Worth ever had a better idea than this? Saul will take one look at all those little animals with just 72 hours to five days to live, and he'll cheer right up! Bella who?

Mary Worth 2990

Maybe this is why I haven't been around much the last few days...

For those of you who are wondering what in the holy name of Scooby-Doo Mary means when she says that by shutting out the bad, we also shut out the good, I put it to the test. When I shut out this strip for three days, I missed the good - all of you guys.