Chin Napkin! Thank you, June.
You know, Estelle, you don't have to go out with everyone you meet online. In fact, it is probably a good idea to be a little bit discerning before you say yes. Unless of course, you're just in it for the food, and then by all means, go to town.
I think this is embarrassing for both of them. Clearly, Estelle is going to have to start lying about her age and looks so she doesn't have to eat dinner with men who are willing to settle.
Already Google is serving up online dating sites on my blog... My revenue is definitely going to go up because online dating sites clearly have a wonderful array of possibilities. I don't know much about online dating myself, so maybe I should write a book about it. Or at least a comic strip.
Meanwhile, while they're busy dancing on the couch, the pasta pot is scalding on the stove and the oven curtains have caught fire.
Of course, if Jannie actually did have real feelings for you, then falling for it would have been okay.
I really want to commend Karen Moy for her portrayal of the worst, most dysfunctional marriage I've ever seen. Every day, one of these two morons says something that makes my jaw drop even further than the day before. This is "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" kind of stuff.
Oh, she has feelings for you, Ian. She feels you're a silly fool, a pompous old man, and a drunk, neglectful husband. Oh wait, the last one is how Toby feels.
"Toby, dear, why did you move the oven in front of the window? The glass is constantly fogged up and the drapes will catch on fire. Why don't we put it back in the kitchen where it belongs."
"I told her I'd meet her between the crazy doors where everyone walks into the concrete pillar."
You're going to have to stop sculpting miniature ponies and painting clowns. Try being more like Banksy.
That's funny, Mary... I've been reading their minds for weeks. It's almost been too easy.
Ouch, this hurts. In 1997, Volkswagen released its New Beetle and I was smitten, mostly for sentimental reasons. It took a few years, but in 2002, I bought a 1997 model in Ian Cameron Red. At first, I was a happy driver. But very soon, the love waned. The first problem was that the cup holders were under the dashboard without enough clearance to insert a can of soda without having to tip it far enough that it would spill. The car was mostly plastic, and over the years, pieces began to break and fall off. Sometimes, the electric windows would spontaneously open, and in the last few years, they'd open whenever you unlocked the car. Sometimes the electric systems would cut off, killing the engine and (dangerously) the power steering. When a couple of friends heard that I was going to junk it in 2015, they'd ask if they could buy it. I asked why, and they both said it was for their teenaged driver. I told them no, I didn't want to be responsible for their child's death.
So now I learn that I drove the same car as Ian for over 13 years. This is a very depressing day for me, but at least I was smart enough never to drive it on a bicycle path.
In previous fantasies, the words were the same, but the tone was very different.
Ian, you just described your marriage.
It's the people who care about you the most who have the courage to speak the truth.
