Mary Worth 3922

Whaaaa? Their fight only lasted one day? Well, maybe I underestimated these two and their willingness to ignore red flags in their relationship.

Mary Worth 3921

Jared was really cool yesterday when he asked "Dawnie" if she thought the gorilla was cute, but now his ketchupless french fries have cast him into a pit of gloom and he suddenly goes all caveman on Dawn. Of course, when her own food metaphor is under appreciated, Dawn jumps down into the pit of gloom with him and pukes on his shoes.

It's good to know that neither of these two monkeys have changed much despite two years of complete bliss.

Mary Worth 3920

It looks like Dawn is going to need some more clarity.

Mary Worth 3919

I dated a lot of different women before I met Mrs. Wanders. I would say I am more on the Jared end of the spectrum than I am on the Hugo end. And never ever have I dated a woman who spent the date staring at other guys. Dawn, I don't know what kind of person you are, but you surprise me. You're almost as bad as a man!

Mary Worth 3918

"I'm tired of dating a baboon. I want to date a gorilla."

Mary Worth 3917

Two years?? Really? Two years? And yet, you seem to be exactly the same couple as the last time we saw you two years ago!

This is one of those rare instances when the Worthiverse timeline intersects with the real-world timeline, and things can get confusing. Let me explain:

In March 2020, Dawn and Jared fell in love. But she was still in love with a Frenchman named Hugo. She decided to dump her hot French boyfriend because he liked French versions of things better than American. So she started dating her quirky, hot-in-a-nerdy way, clumsy friend, Jared. Then she thought her father died. And now here we are.

In the real world, in March 2020, the earth stopped because of Covid-19, and we are just now returning to normal. Does that help you understand?

Mary Worth 3916

And there will be no other men there for Jared to be jealous of. None. No chance. This isn't setting up anything, I'm sure.

Mary Worth 3915

When Dawn said, "Look at those baboons," I didn't read it as, "Oh, look. There are the baboons." I seriously just read it as, "Jared, you are a baboon."

Mary Worth 3914

I feel like the end of the movie Groundhog Day when Bill Murray exclaims. "It happened. Today is tomorrow." No more Cal, no more Helen, no more Toby and Ian kissing (ewww).

So we know that Dawn and Jared will break up soon, but I'm trying to find the Vegas odds on whether or not the break up will be permanent.

Mary Worth 3913

If baking muffins were a disease, it would be called mariworthyitis. And I am not so sure it isn't a real disease. She's making obscene batches of muffins, week after week.

Mary Worth 3912

That's enough for me, too. I'm outta' here.

Mary Worth 3911

First of all, Ian, you don't "Try Out," you Audition. Secondly, you're going to need to learn the actor's spelling: Theatre, not theater. Thirdly, I want to see you do Shakespeare soooo badly, so, YES please audition for the theatre. And if it is a devoted husband role you want, you'd make a wonderfully racist Othello.

Mary Worth 3910

"Don't ever let it happen again."

Mary Worth 3908

Ian, not used to being kissed at home, decides exhibitionism must be Toby's thing, and he's okay with that.

Mary Worth 3907

So... Helen lost her job? Did Ian flex his status as a UNIVERSITY professor and report her to "school management?"

Mary Worth 3906

And just like that, Cal is so grossed out that his hormones have been shut off. Well, not shut off - just redirected. You go, Cal.

Mary Worth 3905

For those who are interested, the USC yearbook is called El Rodeo, which is Spanish for The Detour. Which is funny to think of your four years of undergraduate study as a detour in your life.

I have no idea what Helen might have learned since her conversation with Ian was private, but I am sure it was dramatic and meaningful.

Mary Worth 3904

"I'm so happy to meet your grandfather, Ms. C. Would you like me to sketch him with my keen eye?"

Mary Worth 3903

Of course there are some things that a lady doesn't disclose.

Mary Worth 3902

This is true. Anyone else would set him straight. He is adult man who knows you are his married college professor. But of course, this is Mary Worth and the Worthiverse of Madness, where the right thing to do is always the wrong thing to do.

Mary Worth 3901

If it doesn't work, I guess you'll have to start dating Cal. By the way, why did you take off your wedding ring?

Mary Worth 3900

Maybe he can do to Cal exactly what he did to Helen:

Mary Worth 3899

This is the most interesting panel of today's strip. Well, not exactly. Toby's story is fascinating. It's just too bad that we skipped it.

Mary Worth 3898

Awesome. This is one of the best fizzled endings I can remember. So much potential. So thoroughly unsatisfying. I live for this. Wow. I don't know what to say. It's almost as though Karen Moy was working on her best story ever, and she suddenly got bored with it. No confrontation between Ian and Helen, no confrontation between Ian and Toby. It's as though something got skipped and will perhaps be published out of sequence next week.

Mary Worth 3897

"Oh, dear," is right Mary. Toby has said this without a trace of irony. Mary is kind of shocked by all of these revelations, but we never got to see Ian tell Toby any of this. She apparently wasn't phased. I'm glad we didn't have to sit through a boring confrontation scene.

Mary Worth 3896

I guess. Doesn't seem likely, but whatever.

Mary Worth 3895

I'm sure glad we didn't have to sit through Ian's shifty explanation of all this. That may have been more drama than we can handle. Best to just tell us about it after the fact. It is always appreciated.

I haven't been following any of the Brad Pitt trial against his wife, wait, no, I mean Johnny Depp, but when I saw this on YouTube, I did have to click...

Mary Worth 3894

His former student, just like Toby. Long hmmmmmm.

Mary Worth 3893

That's what men are for, Toby, but how exactly did he do it? I certainly hope he didn't resort to violence.

Mary Worth 3892

True photographs are one thing, Ansel, but what about vague comic strips when no one knows what is going on? I don't even remember what this story is about anymore.