Mary Worth 4165

"What about you, Ed? Are you more considerate and reliable than Wilbur Weston?"

Mary Worth 4164

Did you know that in Cassablanca, Humphry Bogart never says, "Play it again, Sam?" He actually says, "Play it again, Sau."

Mary Worth 4163

"Like when I decided to date Wilbur, and when I decided to go on SilverDaters.com and get scammed, and when I took you to that karaoke place. It works great."

Mary Worth 4162

Eggplant is one of those foods that everybody seems to like, but I just can't stand it. Not even in otherwise-delicious pasta dishes, or funny sounding dips like baba ganoush. Okay, I realize they probably won't serve baba ganoush at an Italian restaurant, and I just wanted to say baba ganoush. But seriously, I hate egg plant.

Mary Worth 4161

They have almost as many things in common as Wilbur and Estelle did. Music, pets, and stress.

Mary Worth 4160

"I sense another good team in the making. Let's walk our cats up to Piccadee Falls."

Mary Worth 4159

I imagine Steven is nine.

Why are they sitting next to each other? Is this because they are at the karaoke place, and they both want a good view of Wilbur?

Mary Worth 4158

Oh, Ed. I can't even imagine the horrors you inflicted on that poor pomeranian.

Mary Worth 4157

Check your cell, Stell. There must be 50 ways to leave your lover.

Mary Worth 4156

So many people out carrying their dog and cat in the parking lot at the vet's office. This is what happens when a community fails to enforce their leash and crate laws.

Mary Worth 4155

Sounds like we are in for at least one really boring week. But at least we know Wilbur won't be showing up.

Mary Worth 4154

"I'm sorry, Estelle. Our karaoke date turned me gay."

Mary Worth 4153

Oh, yes! I remember that now! He was her karaoke date, and his name is Dr. Ed Harding. And of all the Karaoke Joints in all the World, they walked into Wilbur's. So it has been a year, and she forgot that there was a reason she stopped bringing Pierre in for his checkups.

Mary Worth 4152

Wait, have we met this vet before? I have this vague recollection that at one time we all thought Estelle was going to fall for her vet, but nothing came of it. Was he the guy that got his hand caught in the bus door as it drove off and stretched out his arm five feet? He seems to be recovering nicely.

Mary Worth 4151

Mary, you are leading him on! If ever Jeff has thought you would say yes (and he's thought it so many times), this is the moment. This is going to be brutal!

Mary Worth 4150

Jeff, I really hope that when you propose in the car while you're stuck in traffic, that she says yes. I can never get enough wedding parties.

Mary Worth 4149

Everyone loves that moment when the recovering, ex-con son of the bride makes a toast. It's never awkward.

Mary Worth 4148

Ian, the only person you're complimenting here is yourself. I'm surprised Toby doesn't throw her expensive drink in your face.

Mary Worth 4147

I'm glad you kept the wedding simple, Iris. Flowers everywhere, and gorgeous table settings. With hundreds of people dancing in a huge glass ballroom. You know, simple.

Mary Worth 4146

Oh, Wilbur! If ever there was a slap-my-forehead moment, this is it! But seriously, I can't believe he hasn't spotted the already-married Nan. Most marriages do end in divorce, I hear.

Mary Worth 4145

"I'm thinking of my friend, Iris. You've never met her, Jeff, but this is her wedding party. In fact, her husband is paying for your drinks, so bottoms up!"

Mary Worth 4144

Nan, do you realize you're talking outloud? Given that you don't know anybody here -- Are Zak's parents here? -- who are you talking to? Wait a minute... Is that? Could it be? Yes! It's the corpse of Apple Mary!

The Fifteenth Annual Worthy Awards

Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the Fifteenth Annual Worthy Awards!

Tonight is your night to celebrate all that is best in the Worthiverse.

This is sure to be a night of fun, laughter and jollification! And maybe even a few tears.

So please turn up the volume, get your TV dinner out of the oven, and take your telephone off the hook. It's time to begin.

Here to get us started are some friends of Jared Mylo with their international run away hit: Talk Nerdy To Me:

We will be right back with a special note from Wanders after this word from our sponsor:

Welcome back. Here's Wanders with a few remarks: I want to offer my special thanks to all those who bribed the judges after casting their votes. You were very generous. Unfortunately, since all voting was anonymous, I have no idea whose votes came with gratuities, so I had to keep the voting clean, but I do know who made donations, and in all sincerity, I am really grateful.

The Aldo Kelrast Memorial Award

Before we start handing out loving cups, let's take a moment to pay tribute to a Mary Worth character who died in 2022. Every year, we pause and recognize the loss of a character that we will truly miss. 

This year, the Aldo Kelrast Memorial Award goes to Wilbur Weston who fell off of a ship and drowned in the ocean. Wilbur was the kindest, most thoughtful and most beloved resident of Charterstone Condominium Complex, not to mention a great father and animal lover. Thank you, Wilbur, for all you have done. We will never forget you.

And now it is time to present our first Worthy Award...

Quote of the Year

And the nominees are:

"You Already Know About My Progress With Strength Training"

"Chicken Cutlet Sandwiches, Assorted Sides and a Variety of Soft Drinks"

"Have You Gotten a Good Collection of Eager Minds?"

"It's Up To The Individual to Comply or Not"

"I Have a Keen Eye"

"Not to Mention my Wonky Thyroid"

"You Really Captured my Uncommon Mouth"

And the Worthy goes to...

"You Really Captured my Uncommon Mouth"

Congratulations, Toby, for speaking your truth so well. By the way, I don't think your mouth is uncommon. I think it is beautiful. You shouldn't feel so self conscious... And I am not hitting on you.

Our next Worthy Award is for...

Outstanding Floating Head

And the nominees are...

Helen Moss

Iris Beedie

Jess Bender

Mrs. Weston

Wilbur Weston

And the Worthy Award goes to...

Helen Moss

The Worthiverse loves a good stalker, that's for sure.

Outstanding Performance by a Guest Character

The nominees for Outstanding Performance by a Guest Character are:

Jared Mylo

Nan

Jess Bender

Cal

Helen Moss

The Worthy for Outstanding Performance by a Guest Character goes to:

Helen Moss

Ian Cameron's Ex sure did win our hearts. It must have had something to do with her negative space.

Our next Worthy Award is for
Outstanding Performance by a Regular Character
The nominees are

Mary Worth

Iris Beedie

Zak

Dawn Weston

Wilbur Weston

And the winner is:

Wilbur Weston

Since Wilbur is dead, we have arranged for his daughter ... Wait a minute! Whose that coming in through the back door of the auditorium? Do my eyes deceive me? Can it be? It is! It's Wilbur Weston!! He's alive! Oh, dear. This is awkward... Wilbur, we can't take back a Kelrast Memorial Award... Ladies and gentlemen, we are going to take a break while the mob that has formed here inside the Santa Royale Community Auditorium is either suppressed or satisfied. We'll be right back...

Welcome back. I think we are ready. That was a pretty startling display and I am glad none of you at home had to watch that.
Our next Worthy Award is for
Panel of the Year
And the nominees are...

Zakie Sweetheart

Dawbur Weston

Zak had a Good Life

School Management

WORRLLD-D-!!

And the Worthy goes to:
WORRLLD-D-!!
It was a difficult choice to be sure, but the people have spoken. Of course, now that we know Wilbur didn't drown, it makes this very bitter-sweet. Or, uh, just bitter.

Our final Worthy Award is for

Outstanding Story of the Year

And the nominees are...

Code Oscar

School Management

No Bad Blood

The Incident at Piccadee Falls

And the winner is:

Code Oscar

Well, this concludes our broadcast. It certainly has been a long year, and we are already bored in 2023. I can hardly wait for our next award ceremony.

Ladies and gentlemen, get home safely, or if you are participating from home, be careful that you don't fall off of anything on your way to bed.

If you'd like to leave a tip on your way out, here's the link! Thank you!