One of the great accomplishments any patient can achieve in therapy is acceptance. Bonnie Johnson, impulsive shopping has affected your marriage. Accept that. Toby Cameron, your horrible marriage causes you to take unnecessary risks online. Accept that. Waldo Kelrast, your loneliness has resulted in an inability to let go. Accept that. Wanders, your failure to cope with reality has caused you to obsess over Mary Worth. Accept that!| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Kevin Kline | ||||
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I think we've got two Worthy Award nominees today... Above is one of the best panels I've ever seen. If your therapist ever leans over you this closely, run. Then sue.
Such drama! Mary's really digging deep with her Jungian approach. So many buried emotions rising to the surface!
I think I've counted 17 different diplomas on Dr. Mike's wall, so it is no wonder he is so skilled at negotiating his fear of abandonment. Frankly, I'm still feeling abandoned by his brown hair.
Yes, we get it. Yesterday I called Mary Worth "therapist to therapists." Today, she actually begins to live out the fantasy as Dr. Mike hits his own couch where he will no doubt begin to fix his problem under Mary's laic hand. We get the irony. Still, there's something that really creeps me out about today's strip. Even more than usual.
Jenna deserves better? That's exactly what I said two days ago. 
Is this whole thing some sort of elaborate plot on Mary's part? Is she so passively aggressive, that she arranged the date in order to force Doctor Mike to confront his glaringly obvious defect, and is now suggesting that he "look into fixing it?" Of course, who better to fix Mike than Mary Worth herself, but she subtly leads him along until he reaches his own same conclusion and begs her for help. Mary Worth, therapist to therapists.
Oh, Doctor Mike. You remind me of a young Wanders, back in the days when I'd fall in love with any woman after one date if she was especially partial to walking along the water. I'd dye my hair in hopes that no one would recognize me, and then sit at home staring wistfully at my pencil or my telephone. Invariably, old ladies would come around demanding to know what was wrong with me. Ah, there's nothing quite like young love.
Well, for one thing, going out with Jenna has completely shattered Mike's self esteem. He's dyed his hair and is no longer insisting that people call him Doctor Mike. The guy doesn't know who he is anymore. Jenna deserves better than that. 
Just a comment to single men. If you expect women to have this kind of reaction to your neglect after one blind date, don't. This is a comic strip. Real women are smarter than this. If one ever does react this way, run. Run as fast as you can. Because before you know it, Mary Worth is going to hunt you down for an explanation and it better be a good one, Doctor!
Mary walks home from His 'n Hers Groceries (a bag of blue for Jeff, a bag of pink for Mary) to find Jenna Thomas, wandering down New Country Road in her bathrobe, drunkenly wondering if the man she had one blind date with has another woman in his life. Meanwhile, Bonnie Johnson has gone way off her budget. Let's see just how low Jenna can go.
Jenna hs bn w8N by d ph 4 a wk! I thort 4 sure we'd gt2 C her descent N2 despair, bt findin her emotionally DstroyD soul @ d nadir wz a gr8 surpriz dis AM! 
Well, I guess this story isn't as finished as I thought. It looks like we're going to get a few more dating tips. I had no idea that this is how it's done now: the woman calls the man the next morning while he's at work and leaves a voice message asking him out. In my day, this would have come across as horrifyingly desperate. Maybe it still is. If so, then we have three weeks of Jenna waiting by the phone for Mike to call back. That should be exciting.
Mary has the good taste and discretion not to suggest out loud that romance does not equal real love. Because Mary never imposes her judgments on others. Romance is fine for a night or two, but in Santa Royale, real love is more like what the Johnsons have: dysfunctional, crippling behaviors that lead to misery and suffering, but you have no more options so you ride it out to the grave. And who wouldn't want that for Jenna and Dr. Mike? 
Do you know what I think this platitude means? I believe it means this story is over. 
The seagulls continue to delouse and the sun goes supernova as Jenna takes the first bite out of Dr. Mike's face. Meanwhile...
...Uncle Joe continues to struggle with drawing reflections, but I give him full credit for persistence. Joe, here's a little tip: The next time you look in the mirror, notice how if you raise your left hand in the air, in the mirror it looks like your reflection's right hand. It's often referred to as a "mirror image." But keep up the great work, and don't get discouraged. You are awesome.
I know everyone thinks it will be Dr. Mike, but I think it may be Jenna who turns out to be psychotic, perhaps even a serial killer. This way, not only are we surprised, but after Dr. Mike escapes from Jenna's makeshift dungeon, he can devote the rest of his life to healing the woman he loves.
I admit, kicking your shoes off and dancing in the moonlight on the beach to the wafting sounds of a Bobby Darin cover band seems remarkably romantic. One night, Mrs. Wanders and I left the San Francisco Opera during the first intermission of three, drove across town to Ghirardelli Square for sundaes, then walked in the moonlight on the beach. It was a romantic autumn night, but I'm not sure it makes a good story. I'm certain that whatever opera we were watching was an even worse story. And Mike and Jenna's blind date probably falls somewhere in between.
At least the dog has class . . .
Jenna Thomas is thrilled to have found a man who can express his feelings. But the fact that he's a psychotherapist probably gives him a bit of a professional edge when it comes to labeling his emotions.
You know what? I'm a hopeless romantic. I am the first to admit that the moment I saw the future Mrs. Wanders, it was love at first sight. And we were instant soul mates. But even then, it took a few dates before we got all obvious about it. I mean, Mike and Jenna are coming across as unseemly and undignified. But then, I'm in my forties and perhaps I just don't understand how desperate young single adults are these days. Maybe in this modern, fast paced world they need to throw themselves at each other. But at least they've learned to express their emotions and are clearly willing to make commitments.
Hey, I'm beginning to get the idea that these fireworks are some sort of metaphor. "It's starting..." could be a symbolic statement in reference to Doctor Mike's and Jenna's new romantic attraction towards one another. And like any exploding rocket, it's going to be over in just a few moments. 
Boy, I'll say! The sparks have been flying all over this scintillating dialog, but now it is time for a WALK. Along the WATER. Where there will be real FIREWORKS! It is remarkable how Mary Worth was able to take two bland, dull, unethical professionals who had sworn off love as not for them, get them together over bland, dull, unappetizing food, and BLAM! FIREWORKS! 
