"I told her I'd meet her between the crazy doors where everyone walks into the concrete pillar."

In previous fantasies, the words were the same, but the tone was very different. Ian, you just described your marriage.

It's the people who care about you the most who have the courage to speak the truth.

Poor, Ian. The only student he ever loved, turns on him like a weather vane in Kansas. I really, really thought they had a future together...

"Certain things are meant to be overlooked. Like your obesity, and your chin beard."

Do you kiss your economics professor with that mouth?

"After all that time I put into buttering him up, I could have been working on my assignment instead! And believe me, flattering Ian ...

I don't recall seeing Jannie in a turtleneck sweater before, but I'm glad that when Ian imagines Jannie in the privacy of his own ...

That look was cute on Libby the One-Eyed Cat, but on you it just looks strained.

We get it, June. Kids today spend too much time staring at their phones, making them as cold and detached as Medussa's statuary.

I fell in love with June Brigman this week. I wonder if she'd like to hang out and smoke.

Awww, Afficionado - the new cigarette for femme fatales. It's like smoking cotton candy through a knitting needle.

The audacity, making all his students think that he's an easy A, and then, wham, Expectations! Helicopter parents must hate him.

Jannie is an Ice Princess! The only thing that keeps her warm at all is her Virginia Slims cigarette. This woman is pure evil. You can...

How can Hey-Mickey-You're-So-Fine Boy even hope to compete with the beguiling Quaker Oats Man? Clearly, Jannie has Ian enthralled. He ...

Come on, Ian, at least offer to carry her books for her.

I didn't notice this before, but Brony has a serious case of mange that he's trying to cover with a combover. Those Santa Ana wind...

This entire story just became about the My Little Pony guy. In fact, the entire meaning of life just became about the My Little Pony guy.

I'm sorry that I missed Mary's Christmas dinner, but it is nice to know that Dawn returned from Italy and did not appear to be pre...