Mary Worth 3061

"I told her I'd meet her between the crazy doors where everyone walks into the concrete pillar."

Mary Worth 3057

In previous fantasies, the words were the same, but the tone was very different.

Ian, you just described your marriage.

Mary Worth 3056

It's the people who care about you the most who have the courage to speak the truth.

Mary Worth 3055

Poor, Ian. The only student he ever loved, turns on him like a weather vane in Kansas. I really, really thought they had a future together.

And when he gets home, his jealous wife will have packed her bags and left again.

Mary Worth 3054

"Certain things are meant to be overlooked. Like your obesity, and your chin beard."

Mary Worth 3053

Do you kiss your economics professor with that mouth?

Mary Worth 3052

"After all that time I put into buttering him up, I could have been working on my assignment instead! And believe me, flattering Ian was a lot more difficult than the assignment!"

Mary Worth 3049

I don't recall seeing Jannie in a turtleneck sweater before, but I'm glad that when Ian imagines Jannie in the privacy of his own brain, he dresses her in additional clothing.

Mary Worth 3048

That look was cute on Libby the One-Eyed Cat, but on you it just looks strained.

Mary Worth 3047

We get it, June. Kids today spend too much time staring at their phones, making them as cold and detached as Medussa's statuary.

Mary Worth 3046

I fell in love with June Brigman this week. I wonder if she'd like to hang out and smoke.

Mary Worth 3045

Awww, Afficionado - the new cigarette for femme fatales. It's like smoking cotton candy through a knitting needle.

Mary Worth 3044

The audacity, making all his students think that he's an easy A, and then, wham, Expectations! Helicopter parents must hate him.

Mary Worth 3043

Jannie is an Ice Princess! The only thing that keeps her warm at all is her Virginia Slims cigarette. This woman is pure evil. You can't even sign onto the Virginia Slims website without certifying that you are over 21 and already a smoker! Stir clear, Michael, my boy. Stir clear. You're better off joining the hiking club.

Mary Worth 3042

How can Hey-Mickey-You're-So-Fine Boy even hope to compete with the beguiling Quaker Oats Man? Clearly, Jannie has Ian enthralled. He can barely contain his lust.

Mary Worth 3036

Come on, Ian, at least offer to carry her books for her.

Mary Worth 3033

I didn't notice this before, but Brony has a serious case of mange that he's trying to cover with a combover. Those Santa Ana winds can be a real social buzzkill.

Mary Worth 3032

This entire story just became about the My Little Pony guy. In fact, the entire meaning of life just became about the My Little Pony guy.

Mary Worth 3031

I'm sorry that I missed Mary's Christmas dinner, but it is nice to know that Dawn returned from Italy and did not appear to be pregnant. I'm also very happy for Jannie. Not all college professors are so excellent, and while his RateMyProfessor.com reviews are definitely mixed, he seems to strike a chord with the brighter students.

I hope everyone had a happy holiday. Our oldest got married on Saturday, and then with family around for Christmas, I've been a little busy. It may delay the Worthy Awards, but they will happen!

My best wishes to you for a very happy New Year!