Mary Worth 3801

This is an appropriate song since Wilbur is kind of a jerk as was Prince Hans. Plus, the song is awesome enough to be added to the jukebox because who doesn't love Kristen Bell and Santino Fontana? It brings back hilarious memories of my teenaged son and daughter singing this spot on in the back of the van on long trips.

I wish everyone a spectacular New Year! The nominees for the Worthy Awards will be announced on January 3rd. Get your voting fingers ready.

Mary Worth 3800

Omicron may make your almost-wish come true, Mary.

Notes from the Editor: June, do you think you could lower the side board to Mary's elbow, instead of her shoulder? Could the vase be a bit smaller? Cats pretty much do what they want, but why is the dog sitting on the table? And that artwork... is that a Picasso line drawing? Could you lower it a little? It's just a bit high.

And Karen, what the heck does "a renewed sense of Try-Again with each other" mean? It sounds like they're headed toward another falling out. Please, let's not go through that again.

Mary Worth 3798

No, no, no no nonononono! NOOOOOO! Looks like we get to begin the year on a cruise with Estelle and Wilbur, or watching Mary watch Libby and Pierre. No. No. Nooooooooo. Nononono!

Mary Worth 3797

"Reunited (again) and it feels so good!"

Mary Worth 3796

First of all, ewww. Second, I am going to parse the Shakespeare quote, of course, but first let me say that everyone uses it this way, so I don't blame Mary for missing the context. But this is from Twelfth Night. In fact, I think it may be the very first line. The issue here is that a young man is so love sick, he wants to "eat" so much music that he loses his appetite for love. I think we've all known that feeling while "reading" Mary Worth.

Mary Worth 3795

My goal is to set more specific goals.

I'm always a little thrown by Mary's inner monologues. She has done ths before where she just hammers herself with platitudes. She ought to just open her mouth and start preaching to that run down apartment building. I'm sure the people who live there will appreciate it.

I don' think I'm going to add "Seasons of Love" to the jukebox, but if you haven't watched Tick Tick Boom on Netflix yet (about the writer of Rent), I highly recommend it.

Mary Worth 3794

It seems we've been down this path before... quite literally:

Mary Worth 3793

Golly, Mary. You've really grown this morning. I guess you'll never meddle in people's relationships again. I mean, who are we to judge? (Even after the drunken noodles incident and the karaoke hostility.)

Mary Worth 3792

Mary, you've just described a disfunctionally co-dependent relationship perfectly.

Mary 3791

So, when I last visited, Wilbur was groveling for forgiveness with pet toys and pulled pork. Now he's inviting Estelle on a three day cruise. And she's all for it. I don't know which story I will hate more, Wilbur and Estelle on a cruise, or Mary Worth frolicks with Pierre and Libby.

I long for the days when there were characters I loved to hate, instead of just characters I hate.

Also, here's a link to an "old familiar" for those who read yesterday's strip.

Mary Worth 3790

To error is human, to forgive is feline.

Mary Worth 3789

"Wilbur, you shouldn't have..." How many times has he heard that in his life?

Mary Worth 3788

Ah, Beckett. From his wonderful essay, Westward Ho. Here's the next parapgraph:

“First the body. No. First the place. No. First both. Now either. Now the other. Sick of the either try the other. Sick of it back sick of the either. So on. Somehow on. Till sick of both. Throw up and go. Where neither. Till sick of there. Throw up and back. The body again. Where none. The place again. Where none. Try again. Fail again. Better again. Or better worse. Fail worse again. Still worse again. Till sick for good. Throw up for good. Go for good. Where neither for good. Good and all.”

Very inspirational. Somehow the full quote reminds me more of Wilbur than the first.

Mary Worth 3787

Estelle went from vague recognition in yesterday's strip to smooching on the bench. Her dementia explains a lot about this relationship.

Mary Worth 3786

She is freaking walking her cat and dog together! Someone call YouTube.

Mary Worth 3785

Third! It's the third chance. I am not sure how I can make this any more clear. At least last time the break up was over his alcoholism. This time, it's over a cat.

Mary Worth 3784

Several weeks later... Willa is dead. Stellan has been given to Estelle. Along with a turtle, a hamster, a gecko, and a pot bellied pig. Wilbur is back at the pet store, and leaning towards an exotic snake.

Mary Worth 3783

I really am perflexed by Wilbur's brain sometimes. I am not going to parse these names too closely, but I get it. He's naming his fishes after his Ex. Sort of an Audrey 2 kind of scenario, from Little Shop of Horrors. Or perhaps maybe more like "A Fish Out of Water."

Mary Worth 3782

I'm not sure those fish are warming up to you, Wilbur. Maybe tomorrow you can give them to Estelle.

Mary Worth 3781

She already gave Wilbur a second chance back before the pandemic that never happened in the Worthiverse so this will technically be his third chance, but who's counting? Just keep it coming, Moy, we can take it.

Mary Worth 3780

At first I thought Mary said, "Isn't that ALL we're looking for in companions?"

Someone who makes me laugh and I can be myself around. In other words, no expectations for personal growth and spiritual development. Sure sounds like relationships are easy.

And the Charterstone Jukebox has been updated for Christmas. Enjoy!

Mary Worth 3779

One of the great literary ironies of our time: There is no way that Wibur deserves someone like Estelle, but Estelle certainly deserves Wilbur. This is the foundation of a beautiful relationship; three break ups, and only getting back together for your own self-improvement. "Dating Wilbur will make me a better person," should not be your sole reason for getting back together for the third time. Maybe you should be counseling with Libby instead of Mary Worth.

Mary Worth 3778

Freak! Are those the same muffins that were in the same Zip-Lock bag that the Milk-Bones and catnip treats were in? Bon Appetite.

Mary Worth 3777

I get that panel 2 is more exciting as Mary gets her meddle on, but this panel is more interesting to me (I'm just not interested in excitment; thus, the existence of this blog). Note Mary's use of the plural, "Their previous relationships." This is accurate. Estelle and Wilbur have broken up at least twice. But Mary has refused to give up on them. Perhaps she knows they're both idiots and perfect for each other.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody.

Mary Worth 3770

Pets 'R' Us? Is he buying Geoffry Giraffe?

Mary Worth 3769

Estelle is sad. Pierre is sad. Wilbur is definitely sad. But, Libby? Libby is grinning like a diabolical Cheshire. Her evil plan to destroy Wilbur Weston continues right on schedule. Not satisfied with driving a wedge between Wilbur and Estelle, she has now managed to steal his dog, simply by pretending to be its friend. Now, to turn Dawn against him and all will be complete.

Mary Worth 3768

"Sure, I love dogs. I used to have a boyfriend who had a dog!"

Mary Worth 3767

Libby's happiness is all that ever mattered, isn't it? And if she's happy to see Wilbur tomorrow, I'm going to cough up a hair ball.

Mary Worth 3766

Only Wilbur would spot his Ex on a date with a hot veterinarian, and show up with breakfast early the next morning.

Mary Worth 3765

Mary disapproves of sing offs, and much prefers fighting the old fashioned way. At this point, I must say that I agree with her. How many songs are they going to sing? They've been hogging the stage for 25 minutes at least by now. We can google "Bad Breakup Songs," too, Moy.

Mary Worth 3764

Yikes. Do you know who I really feel sorry for? The purple silhouettes who can't seem to get a turn at the microphone and who have to listen to some of the worst karaoke selections I can think of.

Mary Worth 3763

He sounds just like Justin Timberlake! He's even got the ramen hair!

Mary Worth 3762

Dr. Ed Harding has a strict never-date-a-patient policy.

Mary Worth 3761

I feel almost as if Karen Moy is pandering to her audience, knowing how much we love to see Wilbur suffer. But I don't think we have ever seen him suffer as much as we will. I am honestly looking forward to tomorrow again.

Mary Worth 3760

Wilbur, he probably loathes you. You only bought him to attract women and he "senses" your resentment. I'd say your relationship with your dog is working out just about as well as all your other relationships.

Mary Worth 3759

Ted Confey was a villain. Ted Miller was a lech. Ned Fletcher was a cad. Why should we assume Ed is any better, just because he drops a consonant from his name.

Mary Worth 3758

Now Wilbur can offer a quick apology, they can sit down and sing "Reunited" by Peaches and Herb (again), and let the cat and dog howl to their hearts' content. Wilbur's an entirely new man.

Mary Worth 3757

Pierre's face says it all: Aide-moi. S'il vous plaît, madame, sauvez-moi de cet imbécile.

Mary Worth 3756

Estelle is really bad at break ups.

Mary Worth 3755

 

"Dear Wendy, my girlfriend dumped me, again. It is the second time I've been dumped twice by two different women. I'd like to set a new personal-best and get dumped three times, but to do that I need to convince her to take me back again. How do you recommend I go about it? - Sincerely, Karaoke Slim"

Mary Worth 3754

Carol, if you keep holding your phone with your fingers on the screen, you may accidentally hang up on someone. You need to lean your phone on three fingers like Wil-<click>-bur...

Carol's to-do list:

• Block caller 
• Find new dog park 
• Find new dog beach 
• Find new pet store

Wilbur's to-do list: 

• Get new chick magnet

Mary Worth 3753

Aw, yes, Dawn's John Waters phase. And Wilbur's prize from the county fair pie eating contest.

Mary Worth 3752

Don't worry, Wilbur. Time wounds all heels.

Mary Worth 3751

I did this to a woman once, and she ended up marrying me. I'm just saying, you can recover.

Mary Worth 3750

Wilbur is really struggling without his chick magnet. It was Carol who suggested not bringing the dogs to dinner. Perhaps she knew it was her kryptonite, and the only way she could break free of Wilbur's diabolical scheme was to separate him from his frenchie. Hopefully today her "Um" will be more effective.