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I for one am sad to see that Ted has dropped his head muffin as unceremoniously as the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette dropped Mary Worth from its print pages over the weekend. What a tragic loss. Ten year's ago, this site helped to save Mary Worth in Pittsburgh, but now, without consulting us, The PPG has decided that no one needs a good laugh anymore in Steel City.

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I've finally figured out Adam Miller's super-villain identity: The Skunk! Ever since getting betrayed and shot by the Congress-Man, however, he has struggled to incorporate the cane into his persona. But if the cane shot out his Skunk Musk, that could work. Go with that, Skunk. I'm sure bullets would be no match for your Skunk Musk.

Be sure to keep Mary Worth in San Diego where she belongs. Another newspaper needs to know that Mary Worth is hugely popular! Cast your very important ballot by clicking here. I should mention that this isn't the first time the Union Trib questioned their inclusion of all things Mary Worth. Back in 2008, thanks to readers like you, Mary was spared. Let's get out that vote!

Today's strip

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I am dying to know what low road Mary is referring to when she includes herself as a fellow sojourner. Perhaps she has seen the light and recognizes the destruction her meddling has caused in the lives of others.

I'd like to congratulate the Daily Register of Mitchell, South Dakota. The editors were faced with the grim reality that they only had room for one soap opera strip in their esteemed pages and Mary Worth won out! Based on anecdotal evidence! I would like to think that this blog was part of the anecdote.

Today's Full Strip

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Heh heh. Jeff just called Mary Worth a Luddite. She is afraid of technology. Because Jeff spends a lot of time reading, he knows that the Luddites were a group of early 19th century workers who went around destroying machines they perceived to be taking away their jobs. They took their name from their folkloric hero, Ned Ludd,who apparently was an idiot who smashed a weaving machine because he preferred using his needles.

Mary Worth, like Ned Ludd, is too stupid to see the benefits of Jeff's new Kindle Wireless Reading Device, Wi-Fi, Graphite, 6" Display with New E Ink Pearl Technologyand tomorrow she will smash Jeff's portable reading device to pieces over his highly educated head.

In other (slow death) news: The Central Illinois Post-Gazette has announced it will no longer print Mary Worth. In their classifieds section. Boy, talk about being tossed off the garbage scow. Not fit for the classifieds? You may want to post a comment on their blog and let them know that they have no sense of humor at the Post Gazette. I mean, how could a comic strip that just spent an entire week discussing differing opinions about the Kindle not be genius funny?

Today's Full Strip

Birmingham has it in for Mary Worth!

A special thanks to loyal readers Brian and Nathan for letting us know that Birmingham, Alabama, is pitting Mary Worth against Judge Parker in the ultimate blood sport: "Which Comic Should We Kill?"

Judging by the comments section, Judge Parker is winning handily. We all know that Mary Worth is way more funny than Judge Parker, so if you want to help keep Birmingham's funny pages truly funny, you need to get out the vote. Tell them "Mary Worth and Me" sent you.

Omaha World-Herald Loses Sense of Humor

Thanks to Willy who let us know that the Omaha World-Herald is "changing its approach to comics." Can you guess who's getting axed? But great news: they published the phone number and email address that you can use to let the editors know what you think! That's always fun.

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Kurt is clearly four or five years younger than Dawn. So why are we all okay with this?

To our newer readers, welcome! Don't forget to read your FREE Secret Message. Just hold your cursor over each image.

And I have some sad news for you. According to Edward F. Maroney at the Barnstable Patriot, the Cape Cod Times has cut Mary Worth and five other strips. I can understand jettisoning "The Lockhorns," but Mary Worth? Don't we value good old fashioned meddling anymore? I admit, this current story has gotten a bit risque and sickening, but in general, Mary Worth inspires us to be better people. And it is the funniest strip in the paper.

Today's full strip

Sarasota Florida Hates Mary Worth!

That's right! Sarasota, Florida, is a grumpy, grumpy city and they're taking it out on Mary Worth. Read more here.

As close as Bush v. Gore.

The Kalamazoo Gazette ran a poll to kill a comic strip. Even though Apartment 3-G scored a whopping 44 percent, Mary Worth beat it with 45 percent! However, the Gazette is reconsidering there polling model and relaunching the poll. Maybe a recount can save Mary! There current poll results total about 700 percent, so this is a much better polling model. Read about it here.

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Nothing is creepier or more inappropriate than having your coach hovering around the rink all the time! Much better to have an old lady you just met who has never skated in her life, but who did encourage you to estrange yourself from your only living parent, give you a push out on the ice.

On a different note, I'd like to congratulate Ink Pen for being the only comic strip more despised than Mary Worth in Atlanta, despite our best efforts to stuff the ballot box. Never heard of Ink Pen? Read More here.

Today's Full Strip.

Keep Mary in Atlanta Where She Belongs

Faithful reader Brian just sent this note:

Atlanta paper ...Atlanta Journal Coustitution is thinking of canceling Mary Worth! Please vote to Keep Mary in our paper.

The survey asks for an Atlanta zip code with your vote... 30333, or 30004, or 30022 are local...

Thanks for your help


Please go to
www.ajc.com/comicsvote

If ever there was a time to exercise your freedom to vote, this would be it! (By the way, two browsers equals two votes. Hint. Hint.)

Brilliant Solution!

This just in: The Herald-Mail in Hagerstown, Maryland, has done something brilliant. They've moved Mary Worth from the comics page, to their "Break" page featuring advice columnists and horoscopes! That way, all those idiot comics readers who are expecting quick laughs will stop picking on her. And mature readers who are seeking ways to improve their lives, will find her where she belongs, amidst Ann Landers and Lovesick Annie and all the other do-gooders! This is a far better solution than just kicking her out of their publication.

If your paper has already cut Mary Worth, why don't you pass this idea along to them!

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And here I've been worrying that Mary Worth was not appearing in enough papers.

Yesterday, I had a telephone conversation with Steve Massey, Features Editor at the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. You'll recall that they took a survey last March to determine which comic strip they should consider cutting when Doonsbury returned. He told me that they'd heard from hundreds of Mary Worth fans asking them not to cut the strip. He said that Mary Worth always comes in last in these surveys, but the fans who actually do read it (and who happen to be, he said, in their subscribers' elderly demographic) are such a vocal minority, that his paper can't cut her... as much as he'd like to. The Post-Gazette is keeping Mary Worth, he said, "beyond my fondest dreams." So it pays to let the papers know how much you enjoy Mary Worth. (Massey also told me that they were cutting the Amazing Spider-Man, which would disappoint the children. I can't blame him, though. Now that's a boring strip.)

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No wonder Dr. Jeff Corey prefers living as a bachelor in his suburban man cabin: mix and match canisters; a giant island shoved against the counter; manly smoking jacket; and the simple pleasure of reading the obituaries over a bowl of cold cereal and a jug of moonshine.

EDITED TO ADD: Kudos to the San Diego Union-Tribune for sparing Mary Worth! They're getting ready to dump one of three comics, and Mary Worth isn't one of them. You can send them an email at comics@uniontrib.com to congratulate them on their advanced sense of humor! Be sure to mention Mary Worth and Me.

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I still don't get how we're defining the word "friend" here. What is this outlandish statement based upon? A depressing platitude? "We cannot change what God determines." Some obvious advice? "Your mother wants you to reconcile with your brother." A questionable medical assessment? "Talk to her, Ron. Your brain-dead mother can hear you." Super-natural prophecy: "Your dead mother must have known you reconciled." And a little social banter? "Thanks for inviting me to your mother's funeral, Ron!"

I'm sorry, but "What did I do to deserve you," is a line reserved only for the most intimate relationships, like the Captain and Maria. Just saying you're friends doesn't really make it so. Jeff and Mary, now that's friendship! They sail together, and take long walks, and conspire to send the children off to Vietnam. Mary supports Jeff in his hobbies, like doctor stuff and fund raising, and Jeff - until recently - supports Mary in her meddling projects. If Ron is this desperate for friendship, I have no idea how he maintained the political network necessary to be appointed to the town council. (And it still bugs me that he wasn't elected.)

But one thing is for certain, Mary Worth can use all the friends she can get these days. The Oklahoman has added itself to the long list of newspapers cutting our beloved Charterstone matriarch.

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"How's my mother? How's my mother? She's as dead as your comic strip in the Tacoma News Tribune!"

Editor David Zeeck: "We’re dropping Mary Worth, which appears in relatively few newspapers any more, to make room for the new strip [Zits]." Oh, sure, everybody's doing it. That excuse didn't hold up with your mother, young man, and it certainly won't hold up with Mary Worth! Time to write to another editor: david.zeeck@thenewstribune.com, or just call him at: 253-597-8434. Be sure to mention "Mary Worth and Me."

Now what's up with that blood-stained book?

Post-Gazette is hearing from Mary Worth fans

If you haven't yet contacted Steve Massey, assistant managing editor of features at the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, to tell him to spare Mary Worth, you should do so now. Call him at 412-263-1174 (It's okay, he published his number in the newspaper to get our feedback on the comics.) He told me this morning he's had "a bunch" of calls saying, "Don't kill Mary Worth." Make sure he knows that Mary Worth is the funniest strip in the paper.

Pittsburgh threatens Mary Worth

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette is threatening to kill Mary Worth - proof again that most comic editors have very bland senses of humor. In this story, the editor prints his phone number to hear your thoughts. Be sure to let him know Mary Worth and Me sent you. Just wait until his voice mail box is flooded by nearly a dozen calls from our angry readers!

Akron Ohio Keeps Mary Anyway

As previously reported on this blog, Akron Ohio's Beacon Journal took a comics survey, but promised not to cut their serials. Bold move considering how many people in the Buckeye State expressed their utter hatred for Mary Worth. Is this a case of an editor being smarter than his readers, or just more disturbed? The Condo Board salutes the Beacon Journal for its courage in the face of unpopular opinion.

Beacon Journal Spares Mary Worth

Well here's some good news we don't see every day. The Akron Beacon Journal is conducting a survey of its readers to see which comic strip they should hack. We all know how these surveys end up usually, since most people who read the funny pages are morons who want nothing more than a quick laugh, and are unwilling to invest in the kind of committed relationship Mary Worth requires. However, in announcing the survey, the comics editor made this wonderful statement!

A special note if you prefer the serials: For this survey, we're mostly interested in the mix of funny strips. So fans of Mary Worth, Rex Morgan and Judge Parker? You are safe.

That's enough to make me subscribe to the Akron Beacon Journal right there, and I don't live anywhere near Ohio.

If you'd like to read the article, in its entirety, it's here. The survey, however, is for their print readers only. And based on the readers comments section of the online article, no one has been able to figure out how to take the survey anyway.