Mary Worth 2551

No matter how hip and gorgeous June Brigman may try do draw these characters, they still talk like government-issued robots intent on cooking all humankind into a giant casserole.

Mary Worth 2550

Let the meddling commence!

"Did you say this is your first cruise? You'll love the amenities and the entertainment on board. Cruises offer something for everyone. You'll see foreign lands in an easy way. And the food! You'll enjoy not having to cook."

Mary Worth 2549

Ah hah! This story is about more than just sailing into the Bermuda Triangle! It's about giving up cigarettes. Hopefully nothing stressful will happen to the Hoosiers from Kentucky on this trip. My advice? Avoid the old lady in front of you.

True story: Mrs. Wanders and I celebrated our first anniversary at the Kentucky State Fair in 1993. As a native Californian, I was stunned to see that it seemed like the biggest 4-H Club exhibit at this HUGE event was the how-to-grow-and-cure-tobacco-so-teenagers-can-start-smoking-and-die-young exhibit. Then there were horses.

Mary Worth 2548

Mr. Hoosier's speech impediment helps him to rhyme Hoosier's with Cruishers. But speech impediments will not be a concern on the high seas! He won't have to put up with the taunts of his bowling league buddies back home in Kentucky for an entire week!

Mary Worth 2547

Mary hasn't cruised since the Titanic scared her off. (She then only traveled by Zeppelin. At least until the Hindenburg disaster.)

Mary Worth 2546

"We travel not to escape our husbands, but so they can escape us." - Toby Cameron

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So, to recap...

• Cruises offer something for everyone.
• People with different interests can travel together and still have fun.
• Families with kids, couples, seniors all enjoy cruises together.
• Mary loves the amenities and entertainment on board.
• Toby loves the food.
• Cruises offer a wide array of entertainment options.
• Cruises offer a chance to see foreign lands in an easy way.
• Toby loves the food.

This looks like it will be a lot of fun... ::yawn::

Mary Worth 2544

Wait... that's it? I found a good deal, you sure know how to pick 'em? Let the comedy hijinks commence as Mary and Toby embark on the cheapest cruise inside the Bermuda Triangle. Maybe the ship will break down and they'll be stranded without air conditioning or running water. Maybe they'll get kidnapped at their first port of call. Maybe they'll eat bad shrimp and spend the entire cruise throwing up... or perhaps that will just be us.

Mary Worth 2543

Jeff has successfully fulfilled his responsibilities as a Man of Honor. Recognizing that Ian will be at a teaching summit, he acknowledges Mary's invitation as thoughtful and kind, but graciously declines due to health, while silently knowing it would be inappropriate for him as a single man to travel with his girlfriend and another man's wife. Why? Because he would go CRAZY!!

Mary Worth 2542

I was at least hoping we would get to see Jeff's trick knee, perhaps pulling a rabbit out of his pants.

Mary Worth 2541

This week's public service announcement was part of King Features Syndicate's settlement with the Cruise Line International Association (CLIA) after Karen Moy's hatchet job a few years back:

Mary Worh 2540

"Dear Wendy, thanks for your recent advice, but I sent you my letter three weeks ago! While waiting for your response, the company offered the job to someone else! Thanks for being so slow to respond. If it weren't for you, I'd have to go to work today. But as it is, I have plenty of time to go on a cruise. It's a good thing that financial concerns aren't ever a consideration in the Worthiverse. Signed, Broke but Who Cares."

Mary Worth 2539

If everyone with a knee problem never went on a cruise, the cruise lines would lose half their passengers! I've never cruised, but I have many friends who do, and most of them wish their health problems were limited to their knees. Cruise ships are floating geriatric wards.

Mary Worth 2538

I'm sorry to have been away, dear readers. I just couldn't take it anymore. My life seemed too important and precious to spend another moment blogging about Iris and Tommy Beedie. But now: Toby! I can go on ignoring my responsibilities, and focusing on what truly is inspiring. Although I must admit, my first hope was that this story would follow Ian to his teaching summit in Seattle, it looks like we get to enjoy "Toby and Mary go to the Tropics" instead. Hopefully, they'll discover the Lost Treasure of the Golden Monkey of Stinky Island.

Mary Worth 2537

"I believe in you son! But if you fail again..."

"Thanks, Ma. I owe you a pizza."

Mary Worth 2536

For an unemployed widow who attends an expensive university, lives in an upscale Southern California condominium, supports an adult son who is also unemployed and who sees an expensive specialist to help overcome his addiction to expensive opiates, Iris sure eats out a lot. If Mary doesn't bring over a casserole soon, she's going to have to hawk her iPhone.

Mary Worth 2535

I find today's strip a little ironic because clearly Karen Moy has been abandoned by June Brigman and is desperately cutting out old strips to paste her dialog onto. I'm just hoping that June is okay. Here's September 20th's strip, for those of you who like to reminisce:

Mary Worth 2534

You know, simply by turning the picture upside down, it makes September 23rd's art completely different! Try the same thing at home using today's first panel, which appeared on September 22.

If you're trying to make changes in your life, here is some very good advice from the old Mary Tyler Moore show:

Mary Worth 2533

"Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who's done an amazing job and is getting recognized more and more, I notice," - Donald H. Trump, United States President

Mary Worth 2532

"Hey, Ma, isn't that your boyfriend? I haven't seen him (or you) since Christmas. Now here we are, all together again."

I know we were all expecting this, and we were hoping that Zak would be going out with the waitress who dumped Tommy instead of just some random girl, but I'm optimistic that this moment marks the end of this epic story arc that started last June when Mary volunteered Mr. Allora to help with the Beedie move. It's been quite an ordeal spending nine months with the Beedies, but you did it! You've stuck it out! I'm proud of all of us.

Mary Worth 2531

One blue plate special at New Diner, and one weighty platitude from Mommy, and Tommy starts comparing himself to Jesus. Jesus also walked on water, but I'm not quite sure you're there yet, Thomas.

Mary Worth 2530

You can tell he's still sober because he's clean shaven. The drapes, however...