Mary Worth 4030

I'll take "Romantic Dates" for under $2, Mayim.

Mary Worth 4016

It's okay. He's not a doctor.

Mary Worth 4015

Yeah, Jess. You're right. I thought he was going to kiss you just as soon as he patched things up with his ex. Maybe Jess really IS hideous.

Mary Worth 4014

"It feels so exhilarating when you're the one doing the dumping! I don't know why I waited so long."

Mary Worth 4013

I hope Jared still likes Jess now that her face has healed and looks so different. And I hope Jess still likes Jared now that he's made peace with his ex. Because, something tells me that these two like to watch their loved ones suffer, and if they aren't suffering, can it really be love?

But as long as Jess keeps holding her sandwich so pathetically, I'm sure Jared will pity her long enough to last for a few more dates.

Mary Worth 4012

Dang it, Jared, don't do that! What was a sandwich called before it was called a sandwich? Everyone knows about the Earl of Sandwich, but the interesting fact is what is was called before. And now we don't know. But we all know that now it's called a weston.

Mary Worth 4011

Oh, dear. It turns out that Jared is the one turning into Wilbur (either that, or he's moonlighting as a caterer). A variety of soft drinks? How many sodas can the two of you drink?

2022:

2020:

2017:

Mary Worth 4010

The story continues with Jared and Jess going on a picnic. But first, we get some moral encouragement from sister Tessica. "And remember, if he runs out of things to say, just smile and ask him if he knew the rancor was scheduled to battle a Krayt dragon shortly after his encounter with Luke Skywalker. You know, small talk."

Mary Worth 3994

Cooool. Even though Dawn has never met Jess, her subconscious brain was able to conjure up the exact image of the type of girl Jared would dump her for. Aren't brains amazing things?

Mary Worth 3969

Ah, the old "Am I Hideous" test. It's the classic that never lies.

Mary Worth 3968

You'll have ample opportunity to pay her back, Jared, after she gets her hospital bill.

Mary Worth 3967

I hope he is back home in the parking lot. Because if he's still on the 101, this is just negligent.

Mary Worth 3966

Keep going, Jess! And going and going and going and going and going and going... The eight-month rental on this house we don't need won't be a problem at all.

Mary Worth 3965

"It would be inappropriate for me to come up to your bedroom... oh, wait a minute, I already have!"

Technically, of course, her bedroom is at her house a couple of blocks away. But her sister felt it would make wise financial sense to rent a house in town.

Mary Worth 3964

"I feel a little guilty for dumping my ex so I could see you. I mean, we'd only dated seriously for two years, but still, I can't help feeling partially responsible."

Mary Worth 3963

Definite Mary Worth meddling vibes here. It's been a while since we've had a good face touch. This one is great. It violates so many ethical codes. "Sniff."

Mary Worth 3962

"You're beautiful! You're way hotter than my last girlfriend. Did I mention that I dumped her just to go out with you?"

Mary Worth 3961

"There's no use trying to make sense of it." The first rule of all great writing.

PSA: Remember, today is free Slurpee day.

Mary Worth 3960

This is serious stuff. I shouldn't make any jokes about this kind of crime. But as Jess told her story, who among us did not think of this classic Mary Worth moment?

Mary Worth 3959

Oh, Jared can be very persuasive. That's why he and Dawn are such good friends.